Hola, los Gleekos! It’s time for a little Spanish flavor courtesy of guest star Ricky Martin. The Glee writers FINALLY remembers that Mr. Schuester is a Spanish teacher, which sets off a huge role for Martin as night school Spanish teacher David Martinez. And before I get any complaints, the grammatical error in the headline of this recap is intentional, an ode to Will’s inability to comprehend the Spanish language.
The episode also does a lot of things right when it comes to the plot. Characters finally complain about some of the dumb things going on at this school (Rachel getting married, Will teaching Spanish) and Sue gets a storyline that might last more than three or four episodes. My only real complaint is that I think Tina is dead, because she’s been MIA since convincing Mike Chang, Sr. to come to Sectionals.
This week a tenure position opens at McKinley and Will wants it, despite the fact that he’s a Spanish teacher who doesn’t speak the language. Sue also wants it, but both teachers get complaints from their students, forcing them to work hard to improve.
Senor Schuester y Senor Martinez
Will enlists the help of Mr. Martinez to teach him Spanish, but it’s really an excuse to have Ricky Martin smile and look sexy for an hour. He’s great at singing and looking pretty, but to be honest, I find him kind of dull as an actor. And other than the idea of him being a tooth model, Mr. Martinez is very light on laughs.
The new Spanish teacher introduces himself to New Directions by singing “Sexy and I Know It” by LMFAO, and while a teacher grinding with students is wildly inappropriate, it’s still hot and pretty entertaining. But I do think Glee missed a golden opportunity to do a mash-up with Right Said Fred’s “I’m Too Sexy.” I can hear it now: “Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle on the catwalk. On the catwalk, yeah. I wiggle, wiggle, wiggle on the catwalk.”
The fact that Mr. Martinez is so much better at being a Spanish teacher and singer kicks Will where it hurts, which results in Will being a total a-hole to Emma, making fun of her pamphlets. Is the point of this episode to make us hate Will? Because I was already there, but now I dislike him even more.
It all comes down to a big showdown. First up, Mr. Martinez duets with Santana, and it’s a performance that is quite steamy, so long as you don’t think about it. If you just enjoy Naya Rivera and Ricky Martin’s combined sexiness, it’s great. But when you realize he’s a teacher and she’s a student, it becomes supremely gross. When I was in high school, if a teacher ever danced that way with a student, he would go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
But that’s nothing compared to Will, dressing up like a matador with a mariachi band singing Elvis Presley’s “A Little Less Conversation” in Spanish. Luckily, his uncomfortable awfulness is the point. Santana happily admits she told Principal Figgins Mr. Schue was a bad Spanish teacher because he is. He treats the language like a joke and clearly has no passion for it, confessing he only accepted the job because it was the only open teaching position.
At the end, Will agrees and steps down, letting Mr. Martinez take over the job as day-time Spanish teacher while Will moves to history, which seems like a lateral move because he isn’t passionate about that either. Will also apologizes to Emma and we learn she got the tenure position. Do high school guidance counselors get tenure? I’m pretty sure they don’t, but facts were never Glee‘s strong suit.
Samcedes and Finnchel
Mercedes spends the entire episode struggling to deal with the Sam-Shane love triangle she’s in. I do not understand what the problem is because Mercedes doesn’t seem interested in Shane at all. Also, Sam sings Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero,” which, as far as I’m concerned, is so sexy it makes Ricky Martin look like a pile of dog feces. Yet at the end of the day, Mercedes stays with Shane, seemingly because she’s too much of a wuss to dump him like she so obviously wants to.
In other shipping news, Rachel tells her BFFs Mercedes and Kurt about the engagement, and both react correctly, by which I mean they yell at her for being an idiot. Kurt then meets up with Finn and gives him a much-needed verbal bitch-slap. He explains that Finn’s life isn’t over, that he can still be great, he just needs to believe in himself. It’s basically everything I’ve been screaming at my TV all season. Maybe next week Kurt can talk some damn sense into Mercedes so she can be with Sam.
Sue Wants a Baby
For reasons beyond my understanding, Sue suddenly wants a baby, though everyone mocks her for it. She gets a particularly mean-spirited earful from Coach Roz Washington, who has her eye on taking over the Cheerios. I might like this subplot if it weren’t for the fact that NeNe Leakes is the worst actress on all of television and she mistakes shouting for acting.
Sue gets her one moment of genuine emotion with Emma when she reveals she wants to use Will’s sperm because he’s kind and good, and Sue wouldn’t want her kid to be like her. We learn Becky complained about Sue because she feels like her mentor is neglecting the Cheerios.
In the end, we’re left with a bit of a mystery. It sounds like Sue is going ahead with having a baby, and she even claims she got sperm from someone. Was it Principal Figgins? Mr. Martinez? Cooter? Puck? I hope Glee actually moves forward with this, because Sue becoming a mommy has comedic potential written all over it.
Next week on Glee: It’s Valentine’s Day with Rachel’s gay dads and The Glee Project winner Samuel Larsen.
(Image courtesy of FOX)