This week on Glee, April Rhodes returns and inspires Will to do a week devoted to Fleetwood Mac’s “Rumours,” because young kids today are just crazy about the Mac. Sue also starts the school newspaper to spread vicious gossip in her latest quest to destroy the glee club, but just like Wile E. Coyote, it backfires in her face.

More importantly, the show turns into a deadly serious after school special about poor people, Will almost leaves, then doesn’t, and Santana decides to come out, then doesn’t. I miss the days when Glee was a light-hearted comedy, Santana was a supreme mega bitch and stuff actually happened and made sense.

The Rumor About Sam

There’s a rumor that Sam and Quinn are hooking up behind Finn’s back, which prompts a brief Finchel reunion as they pull a Veronica Mars and investigate. They spy Kurt and Sam together at a motel, which sends everyone down a completely different line of rumors: Sam is gay and Kurt is cheating on Blaine!

This is, of course, ridiculous, but the kids of New Directions are dumb enough to believe it, except for Quinn and Kurt because they know the truth. Sam’s dad lost his job so now Sam is super poor, living in a motel with his two adorable moppet siblings and taking Kurt’s hand-me-downs. I’ve been eager for Sam to get a storyline for a long time because I actually think Chord Overstreet deserves better, but this is way too after school special for me.

Finn and Rachel make amends by buying back the guitar Sam pawned and Sam breaks down in tears, prompting his little sister to say, “Sammy, don’t cry.” I’m not sure if that line was supposed to be deeply serious, but I laughed harder at that than anything else in this episode. Glee hasn’t quite mastered the fine balance between intense melodrama and over-the-top absurdist comedy that Ryan Murphy’s previous show, <i>Popular</i>, did so well. Then all of Sam’s problems are magically cured by a big group sing where Puck and Mike hoist Sam on their shoulders.

The Rumor About Quinn

Meanwhile, Quinn has to deal with her own drama as Finn suspects her of cheating with Sam while she thinks he’s getting back with Rachel. They obviously don’t trust each other and Quinn bans her boyfriend from singing with Rachel anymore.

She’s being harsh, but I can’t blame her. Quinn is smart enough to realize Rachel is only trying to duet with Finn so she can do it with Finn, and Quinn cares more about her relationship with Finn than she does about winning. At least she’s being honest, unlike Rachel, who’s secret plot to steal back Finn for herself remains a secret, even though her big number was essentially an excuse to say “Screw you, Quinn, I’m gonna steal your man” through music. I’m totally Team Quinn on this one.

The Rumor About Santana

In the go-nowhere B-story, Brittany hosts a hilarious web show, “Fondue for Two,” where she reveals that Santana plays for the other team. As far as anyone is concerned, she just outed Santana as a lesbian, but Brittany claims she was simply saying that Santana is now only in New Directions and not on the Cheerios anymore. Sorry, but no.

Santana is mad at Brittany, but Artie is mad that Brittany cares about what Santana thinks. He gets very angry very quickly, calling Brittany stupid for trusting Santana. Ouch, as stupid as Brittany is, you shouldn’t call her that, and we get a rare glimpse of emotion from Brittany as she tears up.

Artie sings a sad song about losing his girl, but Santana tops him by singing a love song in private to Brittany, who promises to reveal their lesbian love on her web show. But at the last minute, she sends a text saying “I can’t,” and the next day Santana is back to playing Karofsky’s beard and running for prom queen. Why the change of heart? I have absolutely no idea, because Glee didn’t bother to explain it.

The entire plot boiled down to: I’m not ready to come out. I’m ready. Now I’m not again. What was the point of any of this? If you’re going to have Santana question herself, at least show it and don’t have it all happen off screen.

The Rumor About Will

Sue’s latest plot to destroy Will is to use April’s return (orchestrated by Terri) to spread rumors that he’s leaving New Directions to help her get her show on Broadway. It’s a cruel form of manipulation, appealing to his assets by saying he’s too good to waste his talents teaching a show choir. Even Will really wants to go, but then he decides he can’t because … that’s no clear. I guess he cares about the kids too and is too much of a wuss to risk disappointing them in favor of pursuing his own dreams? But even at the end of the episode, there’s a look in Will’s eye that says, “I hate myself for not being man enough to go.”

So in the end, we spent an entire hour listening to Fleetwood Mac songs to learn that Sam is poor. Santana is still in the closet, Will is still coaching and Terri only wants to destroy Will to get her apartment back, which is the most ridiculous and stupid thing I’ve ever heard.

The Music

“Dreams” by April and Will: It’s always good to hear Kristin Chenoweth sing.

“Never Going Back Again” by Artie: Artie gets to sing a song and it’s not a rap? This is weird, but proof that he’s quite good at hitting emotional notes.

“Songbird” by Santana: Easily the best song from the episode, Santana got to be emotional and vulnerable. I only wish that extended beyond this one song.
“I Don’t Want to Know” by Finn and Quinn: If you want to know what an angry song looks like, watch this. It was actually quite entertaining, and I appreciated the subtext.

“Go Your Own Way” by Rachel: This was Rachel’s cheap and flimsy excuse to flirt with Finn right in front of Quinn. Seriously, Rachel needs to learn to accept defeat more gracefully, because she’s getting more obsessive than Kurt when he talked to Sam in the shower.

“Don’t Stop” by New Directions: Singing makes you feel better about being poor! At least that’s the message I got from this group number. On the bright side, Sam got to sing solo, and I’ve missed hearing Chord sing.

More “Rumours”:

Discuss: Are you Team Quinn or Team Rachel?

Discuss: Will Santana ever come clean about her sexuality?

Quiz: Ten questions on allegations, rumors and the occasional fact

(Image courtesy of FOX)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.