When the history of Glee is written, I believe people will point to “Michael” as the episode where it officially jumped the shark. This week we get a teenage engagement, a slushie-induced medical emergency and the silliest resolution ever.
In some ways I’m actually starting to love Glee again because it’s gotten so unbelievably awful that it’s entertaining. The show is just plain silly and ridiculous. I laughed harder this week than I have all season, although most of that was in disbelief.
We begin with the Troubletones angry that they missed out on performing Michael Jackson at Sectionals, so Will agrees to do him again for Regionals. I’m no show choir expert, but if you perform a Jackson family medley at Sectionals, doing it again seems lazy and uninspired. Maybe Will is putting all his effort into some huge musical number for New Directions to perform at his wedding, because there’s nothing a bride likes more than being upstaged on her special day by a bunch of kids.
When the Warblers try to steal the idea, Will encourages New Directions to think “What Would Michael Jackson Do?” Apparently Michael would fight back. See, I thought he’d give the Warblers some Jesus Juice and let them play with the Elephant Man’s bones so they’d be happy and give the songs back. But that would require Glee to actually make a Michael Jackson joke instead of treating him like a god who did no wrong.
Putting the “Ass” in Sebastian
Thanks to his phone conversations with Blaine, Sebastian decides to steal the idea of doing Michael Jackson at Regionals. Are we really supposed to believe Blaine is still talking to Sebastian on the phone? At least the actions this week should put a stop to any possibility that Sebastian will successfully break up Kurt and Blaine, because when someone puts you in the hospital and partially blinds you, it’s hard to find him attractive.
This leads to a parking garage “Bad” street battle which ends with Sebastian tossing a slushie enhanced with rock salt into Blaine’s face. It was so powerful that it scratched Blaine’s cornea and needs surgery. Yes, slushies are now deadly weapons.
If that isn’t dumb enough, Artie takes this harder than anyone and has what appears to be a psychotic break with reality, vowing to destroy the Warblers while having a “Scream” fantasy sequence with Mike Chang. That storyline goes nowhere and was just a poorly written excuse to do that song. Instead, Santana vows to get revenge with a sing-off against Sebastian, but she gets slushied as well.
However, she did tape Sebastian’s confession that he threw rock salt in Blaine’s eye, which could certainly get Sebastian arrested. Kurt doesn’t want to do that because he’s the worst character ever. Santana’s plan isn’t vicious or mean, it’s getting justice. Sebastian committed a crime and he should pay for it. This is about the seventh or eighth hilariously absurd plot twist of the night.
Instead, Kurt calls the Warblers and shows them the true meaning of Michael with a performance of “Black or White.” All the Warblers except Sebastian get up and dance with them. It ends with Santana using the tape to shame Sebastian in the eyes of his fellow Warblers. So I guess everyone knows how much of a douchebag he is and we’re done with Sebastian, right?
Rachel Getting Married
Three days have passed since Finn’s proposal and Rachel apparently told him she needed to think about it. She’s still confused and Finn explains that getting married is the only way to ensure they’ll stay together when they move to New York next year. If you’re like me, you’re still wondering why Finn is that damn stupid.
You know you’re in a bad position when Quinn, who just a few episodes ago was trying to frame Shelby as an unfit mother, is the voice of reason. She tells Rachel that they have no idea where they’ll be in 15 years and that maybe, to follow your dreams, you need to let go of this foolish, childish notion that Finn is the one. It’s harsh, but it’s also a much-needed dose of reality.
This week we also learn that Quinn got into Yale (really?), Mercedes kisses Sam and Kurt is a finalist for NYADA. However, based on Kurt and his dad’s reactions, you’d think Kurt just won a Tony. I hate to rain on his parade, but he just made it to the next round, he didn’t actually get in yet. Plus, isn’t Burt Hummel supposed to be a Congressman? Or was that whole storyline a dream?
When Rachel learns this, she gets all depressed that she didn’t get a letter too, so she abruptly accepts Finn’s proposal because he’s all she has in this world. But the next day Rachel does get her letter announcing that she’s a finalist for NYADA too. She’s very happy until she remembers one thing: Finn.
The final expression on Rachel’s face is priceless. It’s an expression that says, “Oh crap, I just hastily accepted an idiotic marriage proposal because I couldn’t wait one day for the mail to be delivered.”
Next week on Glee: Ricky Martin shows up as a Spanish teacher to teach Will all about being caliente.
(Image courtesy of FOX)