Last week in my recap for Big Brother 16, I wrote that nothing that’s said on a Sunday episode matters. That’s especially true this week, in which the Rewind Button makes the HoH competition and nominations meaningless.

But there is one very important, game-changing move that gets made this week, only it has absolutely nothing to do with this season’s HGs. Instead, Big Brother 16 is so boring that they need to bring in Jeff and Jordan with a major announcement to keep things interesting. It’s kind of funny that the best moments of this season are Jeff and Jordan’s engagement, Kathy Griffin and the Zingbot and Gilbert Gottfried as Otev the Pissed-Off Penguin.

Christine’s Post-Mortem

After the double eviction, the Final 5 HGs are reeling from the massive amount of boos Christine received. They all pat themselves on the back for getting rid of her, piling more dirt on her grave. Frankie talks about how Christine’s flirtation with Cody was the problem and reflected badly on her marriage, but Cody isn’t to blame. Come on, show, I never really liked Christine, but she doesn’t deserve this crap. At least Cody defends her.

The Final 5

Once Victoria goes into the DR, the Bomb Squad celebrates about how they’re going to take her out, but Frankie knows he could be a target since he almost was last week, so his goal is to just win every competition for the rest of the season. Derrick wants to wait until the day of the eviction to tell Victoria that she got Britney’ed.

Cody is eager to take a shot at Frankie (as he has been for the past two weeks), but Caleb is still worried because he’s an idiot and is worried that Frankie could put two of them up next week. Um, if Victoria goes this week and Frankie wins the next HoH, he will have no choice but to put up two of the other guys because they will be all that’s left. How does Caleb not realize this?

Later, Derrick builds up Victoria for being the last girl, saying that she’s the best female player this season and will be the most memorable girl. Neither of those things is true. I hate this argument that people who last longer are inherently better players. Jenn City and Chef Joe from season 14 aren’t better than Frank Eudy. Adam Poch, Porsche Briggs and Kevin Campbell are not better than Jeff Schroeder. Season 12’s Kathy is not better than Rachel Reilly. Victoria is not, in any sense of the word, better than Christine, Nicole, Amber or even Brittany.

The HoH Competition

The HGs must walk across a seesaw in the shape of a shovel and place all of their seeds on the end. If they or the seeds fall on the ground, they must start over, and there’s also rain. It’s a pretty inventive competition.

Victoria is terrible, as is Cody, so it’s really just down to Caleb and Frankie. With only three seeds left, Caleb messes up and one falls off, meaning he has to start over. Frankie knows he has it in the bag, so he goes slow and steady. Since nothing this year ever goes the way us viewers actually want it to go, Frankie wins the HoH competition.

Frankie debates who to nominate with Victoria, but like always, he doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or make an actual decision. He could nominate Derrick since he’s never been put up or Cody since he has NOT nominated Frankie the fewest times. Yes, technically speaking, Caleb could’ve nominated Frankie three times, Derrick could’ve nominated Frankie twice and Cody only could’ve nominated Frankie once.

The Button

The HGs see the mysterious Button. Caleb wants to push it, but Frankie says that he’ll kill him if he does it. But in the DR, Frankie tells us he’s definitely going to push the button. Caleb speculates a lot about the good things it could be, but Derrick doesn’t want it to be pushed because he doesn’t want a twist to ruin his game.

After the HoH competition, the Button is open and can be pushed. Frankie immediately wants to push it, despite his early claims that he’d kill anyone who did it. Derrick really doesn’t want to push it because he HATES not being in control.

He gets outvoted and, as a group, they all push the button. Like all of the votes this season, this was, once again, a unanimous decision. Derrick is still worried that it’s going to change the game.

The Proposal

The doorbell rings, with Jeff Schroeder and Jordan Lloyd walking into the house. Everyone freaks out about how they’re the best people ever. Jeff mocks how messy the house is and then adds that they should go into the backyard for a special luxury competition. But that’s not the real reason they’re there.

Jeff and Jordan walk into the backyard and she wants to prepare for the competition. He tells her that there’s no comp and starts to get down on one knee. Jordan says things like “Are you serious?” and “Is this a joke?”

He proposes, she says “Yes,” they kiss, and then Jordan’s dog runs out, followed by the families of Jeff and Jordan. The current five HGs bring out a cake and champagne, and then country music singer Brett Eldredge comes out to perform. As he sings, a 45-minute video montage of Jeff and Jordan’s best moments from Big Brother 11 and Big Brother 13 is shown. Well, it felt like 45 minutes.

It’s possible that Caleb loves Brett more than Jeff loves Jordan or Frankie loves himself. I’m just kidding, no one loves anyone more than Frankie loves himself.

The Nominations

After Jeff and Jordan leave, it’s back to the nominations that mean nothing because they pushed the Rewind Button. Frankie nominates Cody and Victoria, saying that he put them up because they handle the pressure of being nominated better than anyone and he’s sure one of them will win the Power of Veto. Hogwash.

See Who Won the Power of Veto>>

Tune in Tuesday night to see…oh, who cares. Wednesday night the game will rewind, so there’s not much reason to watch. It’s either brilliant or stupid for CBS to air two meaningless episodes against the first two episodes of FOX’s Utopia.

(Image courtesy of CBS)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.