Way back in the second week of Big Brother 15, Aaryn won her first HoH and nominated Helen and Elissa. And last week, Andy promised both of his nominees they were pawns, but everyone in the house knew this was a lie as they were all planning to blindside Jessie.

This episode of Big Brother 15 is basically those two events combined into one. The HGs this season are so dull they’re just recycling their own strategies. Sadly for us, this seems to be working.

Goodbye, Jessie

No one is really that sad to see Jessie go. Amanda is happy because she has once again decided someone’s fate without winning anything. Helen is upset that Jessie may have ruined her game, unaware that Andy already did it. Andy is probably the saddest because Jessie was a good friend, but I find it impossible to care about his feelings because he’s such a weak, non-player.

Amanda the Loser

McCrae tells Amanda he’s slightly worried about Aaryn because he threw the HoH competition to let Amanda win it. Amanda gets offended and starts crying because she sucks at competitions. Amanda then hides behind a trash can and cries, which is even funnier than the time Rachel cried in the bushes during season 13.

Helen’s Pep Talks

Elissa is upset because she thinks she’s going home now that Aaryn is HoH. Helen gives her a pep talk about how she has the votes to stay. Helen then goes to Aaryn and says some of the most insanely over-the-top things about how she’s amazing and better than Janelle. Oh Helen, when you find out Aaryn wanted you to go make some rice, you’re going to feel awful about these pep talks.

The Plan

After Amanda is finished crying, she and McCrae gloat about how not winning is actually a good thing because they can once again get Aaryn to make a really big move for them. She should put up Helen and Elissa, with Helen going home, but she can tell Helen that Elissa is the target and she’s only nominating Helen because she would use the PoV to save Elissa.

Aaryn wants to put up Elissa and Spencer, but as soon as Amanda shows up, she basically just tells Aaryn what to do, and when Andy walks in, Amanda tells him exactly what Aaryn is going to do, even though Aaryn hadn’t actually agreed to it yet. I honestly don’t understand why everyone just does whatever Amanda says, but this entire week was over by the end of the first commercial break.

The 3 A.M. Roles

We quickly see the members of 3 A.M. decide their roles.

Amanda is the Mastermind, because she makes all of the decisions.

Andy is the Agent, because he runs around and makes deals with everyone while collecting information.

Aaryn is the Beast, because she wins all of the competitions.

McCrae is the Enforcer(?), because calling him Amanda’s Sex Toy would be insulting, even though it’s apparently his only contribution to this group. Because he’s obviously not enforcing anything.

A Slap in the Face

Elissa refuses to talk to Aaryn because she just doesn’t think Aaryn is a nice person and doesn’t want to interact with her. Elissa then cries about not being with her son on his first day of school. Helen says she misses her kids too and her dad is going through chemo, but they need to suck it up and play the game.

The pep talk backfires because Elissa says if she gets evicted, she wouldn’t go to the jury house, she would just leave the show and go back home. This is the biggest slap in the face to Big Brother, the fans, the HGs and everyone who has ever auditioned because they WANT to be there.

This makes Helen sad because she’s a fan of the game, so she goes upstairs and cries while telling everyone about what Elissa said. Everyone else talks about how Elissa’s comments are a slap in the face to the game and would bring shame upon Rachel Reilly’s house. Of course the worst part is that, as much as they all hate Elissa and think she doesn’t deserve to be there, Helen is still the target. Amanda seems to get joy from Helen’s tears.

The Have-Not Competition

The house divides into two teams, with the three guys and Aaryn on one side and the other four women on the other. Each team will have to go into a black box in total darkness, find a key through cobwebs and other nasty surprises, then leave and press a button.

Helen, Elissa, Amanda and GM go first, and after a while, GM finally gets the key.

When Aaryn and the guys go in, Spencer doesn’t care if there’s a werewolf, he’ll just kick its butt and win. Spencer seems to get the key fairly quickly, but they find a trick door that drops slime on them before leaving.

The ladies took 7:21, but Aaryn and the guys did it in 3:41. So that wasn’t even close, with Helen, Elissa, Amanda and GM as the Have-Nots.

Nominations

The next day Elissa decides to actually talk to Aaryn and says she really wants to be there, even though it obviously kills her to do it. But I think it kills Aaryn even more to have to sit there and listen to Elissa talking about yoga mats. Aaryn promises Elissa she’s not the target.

Next up, Helen talks to Aaryn and promises that if Elissa and Spencer are nominated and she wins the Power of Veto, she wouldn’t use it if Aaryn didn’t want her too. None of this matters, because Aaryn views Helen as a huge threat in the game and to 3 A.M. Also, Amanda already decided everything that is going to happen this week, and no amount of talking or campaigning is ever going to change that.

After Amanda told Aaryn what to do, we could’ve fast-forwarded to the PoV competition, then to the live eviction, because nothing else this week matters.

Aaryn nominates Helen and Elissa, because that’s what Amanda wanted to happen. Even during the ceremony, Amanda is acting like a pompous beeyotch. Aaryn claims Helissa are a power duo and she’s afraid they will come after her power duo. Elissa idiotically thinks she’s the target, Helen naively thinks she can trust Aaryn, and Amanda is cocky as always. I don’t support violence against women, but I would literally love to Amanda get punched in the face, a la Snooki.

See Who Won the Power of Veto>>

Want to add Big Brother 15 to your very own watch-list? Download BuddyTV Guide for free for your phone.

(Image courtesy of CBS)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.