Shane Meaney, the current Big Brother 14 HoH, is a house flipper. Literally, that’s his profession in the real world. So it’s only fitting that he completely flips the house this week in an episode full of everything I HATE.

There’s Joe, who shouts all of the time and hurts my ear drums. There’s Janelle, who is positively sociopathic with her lies and emotional manipulations. And there’s Shane who is too dumb to realize that getting rid of a strong player only gives everyone else more of a reason to go after him in the future.

Nomination Aftermath

Janelle immediately goes to work kissing Britney’s butt like the total sociopath she is. Seriously, Janelle is so phony this season that it hurts to watch. Luckily Britney is smart enough to realize that Janelle went from her team to Boogie’s team and now back to Britney’s team. Janelle tries to say her team promised Frank their votes last week. Um, isn’t her team responsible for Frank staying in the house the first week? By my math, that should mean Frank owed Janelle’s team, not the other way around.

Then Janelle has a team meeting with Wil, Joe and Ashley telling them all to swallow their pride and suck up to Shane. She literally tells Joe EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY, and it’s so damn depressing and boring to watch. I don’t want to watch Janelle use her three players like pawns, making them do everything she wants them to do. And I really hate that the newbies are so stupid that they go along with it.

Joe thinks Shane needs to learn some manners because he’s getting a big ego based on a few competition wins. The only problem is that Shane’s big ego is completely deserved, because, after tonight, he has won five of the first six competitions. It’s easy to think you’re better than everyone else when you ARE better than everyone else.

Another Veto for Shane

Danielle, Wil and Frank are picked to play. It’s a circus theme and the HGs who aren’t playing get to enjoy cotton candy and other delicious treats. Not playing in PoV competitions this season is the best reward, because last week they got margaritas.

The HGs must push two balls up separate inclined planes at the same time and keep them from falling on the ground.

Wil and Joe are the first two out, proving how bad they are at competitions. Frank is out next, followed by Danielle. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the two simplest-minded HGs are the ones left, because this is the kind of challenge where you need to turn your brain off and repeat the same movements over and over again. Ashley is very good at turning her brain off, and Shane is about as complicated as a golden retriever.

Shane wins this third straight Power of Veto! Now I think it’s OK for Shane to have a bit of an ego because he’s done what only one other person in the history of this show has done: He’s won three PoVs in a row (season 9’s Crazy James Zinkand did it as well).

So Many Options

After winning, Shane gloats about all the options he and Britney have. They’re both disgusted by Janelle’s team doing nothing but floating to the power and how Britney doesn’t want to hear their nonsense, especially Joe’s loud mouth (which Britney does a spot-on impression of).

Janelle immediately comes up to the HoH room after the PoV competition to talk game and throw Frank under the bus some more. Janelle doesn’t want them to take out a weak player when they could take out a big threat. You mean like how Janelle’s team took out Kara in week 1 instead of Frank? It never ceases to amaze me how people who talk about how much they hate floaters are the same ones who immediately tell others they need to take out the big competitors.

Wil and Ashley come upstairs too and Janelle suggests working together for longer than one week to take out Boogie’s team. You mean two weeks, since the only people left would be Ian and Jenn?

Janelle then admits that she’s a total psycho for offering to give Shane her wedding ring for three weeks as proof that she wants to work with them. Shane and Britney refuse to accept it. Janelle says Shane needs to keep emotions out of it, which is stupid because she just tried to emotionally manipulate him by talking about how much she loves her wedding ring.

Joe then pledges his undying loyalty to Shane, talking about how hard it was leaving his family. He promises to turn against his team and protect Shane at all costs on the lives of his entire family. Is this the kind of strategic gameplay without emotions Janelle was talking about? I’m disgusted by how easily manipulated Shane is by emotional heartstring-pulling.

While all of this hardcore ass-kissing is going on, Boogie and his team are relaxing because they have a deal with Shane and they assume it’s still in place. What they fail to realize is that Shane is very easily manipulated.

Dan’s Sushi Party vs. Wil’s Birthday Party

As filler, Dan, the coaches, Danielle and Shane have their outside sushi party. They dress up and it’s very sophisticated. Except for Shane, who uses a fork.

But inside is where the crazy party is since it’s Wil’s birthday and he’s in a speedo and a jacket. A game of Spin the Bottle ensues where Ian has an awkward kiss with Ashley (who is clearly not into it). And Shane and Danielle kiss while everyone squeals with delight like a bunch of sixth graders. I find it interesting that they don’t include the moment where Boogie and Ashley sucked face, because that totally happened and it was disgusting. Also, Ian and Wil streaked. They left a lot of good stuff on the cutting room floor, so click HERE for the juicy bits you didn’t get to see.

Flip That House

Britney talks to Ian who says that there are no “foreseeable circumstances” under which he would nominate Shane next week. That makes Britney and Shane uneasy, so now they want to work with Janelle because they don’t trust Boogie. They put all of the blame on Ian, but somehow it’s Frank who would be the replacement nominee.

Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what just happened. Shane and Britney just seemed to turn against Frank for some innocuous comment Ian made. Britney and Shane also try to talk about how the only way to secure the vote is to nominate someone on Boogie’s team. It’s all just a bunch of idiotic B.S. that makes no sense to me.

How can Shane and Britney spend almost the entire episode talking about how Janelle is the worst person in the world and completely untrustworthy, then, at the last minute, put all of their eggs in her basket because Ian didn’t say the exact words Britney wanted to hear?

Worst of all, this week is once again falling into the same pattern of the entire season, with HGs being targeted not because of what they do or who they are, but because of who their coaches are. This season is all about the coaches, and as a Big Brother purist, I’m so over it. Just like many fans (myself included) said last season, if CBS wants to do another All-Stars season, then just do another All-Stars season. Don’t do this mixed crap.

The Replacement

Joe’s speech is about how Shane needs to be like the President of the United States and use the power of veto. It’s easily the dumbest thing anyone has ever said this season.

Shane decides to save Ashley and nominate Frank. And just like that, Janelle gets exactly what she wants and Shane turns his back on a powerful ally to team up with a group of useless sloths who couldn’t win a competition if it was picking a number from 1 to 10.

I feel bad for Shane because he’s playing the Jeff Schroeder game, and that always ends in getting evicted in fifth or sixth place. Jeff also had a strong showmance with a Southern belle, and he won the HoH and PoV in the same week both times he played, using it as a chance to backdoor a strong opponent (Russell in season 11 and Daniele in season 13). This story does not end well for him.

Boogie immediately gets up and runs out of the room while Janelle lets out a vicious, evil smirk, like a Disney villain who just successfully murdered 101 puppies to make a coat.

Tune in tomorrow night for the “live” eviction. It’s in quotation marks because the HGs have been told that tomorrow’s episode won’t actually be filmed live, which should clue everyone in to the fact that there’s gonna be a great big twist tomorrow that involves the coaches coming into the game.

(Image courtesy of CBS)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.