It’s been a very crazy last seven days in the Big Brother 14 house. First Boogie and Ashley were sent home in a double eviction, then Frank won HoH and targeted his arch-nemesis Dan, then Dan flipped the house on its head with his “Big Brother Funeral” and successfully exposed the Quack Pack to turn Frank against Ian. It was a move that, in my mind, made Dan the best player in the history of the game, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Tonight another girl gets evicted from the house as Britney or Danielle will join Ashley in the jury house. This season might be just like season 12, but it’s the polar opposite of last season, where the Top 7 had only two guys and five girls.
Stick with me throughout the hour for live updates on the exciting action of another live episode.
Julie Chen opens by reading some of the headlines about how great Dan is. I’m betting Dr. Will Kirby is FURIOUS that he’s no longer the best. We desperately need another All-Stars season, because letting Dan play against these morons just isn’t fair. Also, it’s hard to take Julie seriously when she calls Britney “another great.” I love her, but she’s not in the same league as Janelle or Boogie.
The Veto Ceremony Aftermath
Britney, Shane and Ian are totally shell-shocked while Danielle pretends that she didn’t see that coming either/ Meanwhile, Dan jumps for joy and claims this was his finest hour ever in the house and that he has no idea how he can top it.
With Dan acting like the cat who ate the canary, Ian goes upstairs and gets into a huge shouting match with Frank. Britney asks Dan if she’s the target, and he refuses to answer, mostly because he doesn’t know how to respond. After calming down, Shane finally realizes that he has to choose between his coach and his fake girlfriend.
Britney asks Frank for some insight into what happened. She starts crying genuine tears, which is why she’s nominated and Dan isn’t. She vows to fight, but she knows she’s screwed.
This leads to the Ian vs. Frank fight, part 2 (part 3, if you include last week’s double eviction). Dan stays in another room and smiles as his handiwork unfolds and turns the little pawns against each other. Ian tries to defend himself, but he really can’t because he doesn’t know that Frank knows all about the Quack Pack.
Ian concludes by announcing that everyone needs to target Frank because he will definitely win 7-0 if he makes it to the finale. That’s not entirely true. After this move, I suspect Dan could beat Frank. And I think there’s gonna be a very anti-Frank sentiment as we proceed.
Julie lets us know tonight will be another endurance HoH competition, and the first person out will either get a reward or a punishment, depending on how America votes. Please vote punishment! I kind of like this new live tweeting social component to the show.
Britney’s big strategy to save herself is to bad mouth Dan’s manipulative ways at his own funeral. She calls herself an idiot. She is both blaming Dan and trashing him, but also praising how good he is. Britney then goes into an EPIC monologue about the two faces of Dan, speaking sweetly and then turning on you with violence and ruthlessness. She hates him, but she also understands that it’s a game. This is one of those situations where time is going to make it a lot easier to appreciate Dan’s move without emotions.
Julie and the HGs
Ian says the mood is better, but still tense. Julie asks Dan how it feels to survive his own funeral. He’s a little too cocky about it, comparing Jenn to his Memphis (aka the person he drags to the end and then beats 7-0). Note to Jenn: Being Memphis is NOT a good thing.
Return of the Brigade
Awesome, the Brigade is back! They all get together for a beer to talk about how they did Britney dirty. They all love Britney, and Matt loves her more than anyone. Hayden’s hair looks awful. Lane wants to use Ian as his own personal calculator. They make fun of Shane for wearing pink and Danielle for being a total stalker, like Amy Fisher. That one is gonna hurt her a lot when she watches this episode. Enzo also mocks Dan’s hairy forearms. The Brigade is hilarious!
Frank and Julie
Frank tries to rationalize saving Dan because of learning about Ian betraying him. Frank isn’t sincere about his Final 2 deal with Dan at all and he’s OK with being Ian’s enemy. He also thinks he has everyone in the house aligned to get rid of Ian next week. Um, I’m not so sure about that.
Danielle loves everything and everyone, especially Britney. Britney gives shout-outs to her family and fans. She gets one last dig in about how she’s not going to waste everyone’s time having her own funeral. Then she calls Dan Judas, just like Jerry did. It was supposed to be funny, but no one got that memo..
Dan votes to evict…BRITNEY
Jenn votes to evict…BRITNEY
Ian votes to evict…DANIELLE
Shane votes to evict…BRITNEY
Joe votes to evict…BRITNEY
BRITNEY IS EVICTED 4-1.
There was a loud, disappointed gasp when Shane cast his vote. Clearly the HGs don’t realize how much America doesn’t like Danielle and how much we LOVE Britney. Seriously, she gets the loudest applause ever and could definitely win America’s Favorite again.
In Britney’s interview with Julie, she says she can respect Dan’s move and says he’s both pure genius and pure evil. She repeatedly says it’s unbelievable what Dan did. She also understands her closeness and allegiance to Ian was what doomed her. Britney keeps making us laugh by talking about how paranoid she tried to be to ensure she wouldn’t get blindsided a second time. Britney kind of calls out Shane for being dim and “expendable,” claiming he’ll just follow someone else now.
The goodbye messages are pretty sweet and nice but Shane’s is understandably stupid (saying he voted for Danielle because Britney already got to play once before). Ian lavishes praise on Britney and vows to get “that hairy, orange beast” (aka Frank).
The HoH Competition
America voted for punishment! The competition is simply sitting on a disk and holding onto a rope that gets spun around a sun. They also get sprayed and Shane keeps complaining about how bad it tastes. STOP EATING IT THEN! They also get slapped by a giant comet every time they go around.
They first person to fall has to open a mystery box and the HGs are NOT told if it’s punishment or reward. Now that’s interesting.
During the live show Joe and Jenn both fall (Joe first). How pathetic is that?
Click HERE for the Week 8 HoH Competition Results>>
Next week is ANOTHER double eviction episode! AWESOME! That explains how we’ll get rid of so many people in less than three weeks.
(Image courtesy of CBS)