The actual gameplay in this episode of Big Brother 13 is kind of boring. Jeff spends the whole time acting like he’s weighing his options, but it’s very obvious that, regardless of what anyone says, he wants to backdoor Daniele and that’s exactly what he does after winning the veto and taking Porsche off the block.
He still has a chip on his shoulder about Daniele trying to backdoor him in week 3, and that’s the only reason he seems to be doing this. So all that time he spent figuring out what to do this week was a total lie because he’s obviously been wanting to backdoor Daniele for the past four weeks. It didn’t matter what she said this week and it didn’t matter that Jeff promised not to put her up as a replacement nominee. Anything and everything Jeff did to suggest that his mind wasn’t made up was a lie.
But on the bright side, the Zingbot is back! I don’t think I’m overstating it when I say that the Zingbot is the single greatest thing that has ever existed in the history of the universe. The silly giant robot which delivers rather lame jokes about the HGs is pure brilliance and this week he comes back to watch the HGs make a wife for him in the PoV competition.
In honor of the Zingbot’s return, this will be an all-zing recap. So without further ado, here are the best zings of the episode, from the HGs and the Zingbot.
The HG’s Zings
“The best-case scenario would’ve been you winning HoH, beeyotch.” – Daniele’s sarcastic response to Kalia about why they’re in danger.
“What’s wrong with you? Do you hate me? I already know the answer to that, but there’s no reason.” – Rachel passive-aggressively antagonizing Daniele while acting like she isn’t.
“It’s ‘mischievious.’ ‘Mischievous,’ I’ve never heard of that.” – Jordan zinging herself by proving just how dumb she is, and zinging Jeff by getting him to agree with her that “mischievious” is correct.
“She thinks she’s a scientist, but unless scientists serve mai tais, I’m pretty sure she’s a waitress.” – Daniele’s zing to Rachel, the best zing of the night.
“Everybody knows Kalia’s gonna be fantastic putting together this Fembot. All her dates come with a charger.” – Adam’s very mean zing.
“I’m not good at puzzles. I’m terrible. Just look at me in this competition. I’m embarrassing.” – Jordan zinging herself, but it’s actually just the truth.
“And I like your haircut.” – Porsche’s speech during the veto ceremony on why Jeff should keep her.
“You have the chance of having a lot more red velvet cake.” – Kalia’s speech during the veto ceremony on why Jeff should keep her.
The Zingbot’s Zings
The Zingbot’s Best Zing: “Porsche, shouldn’t you be named after a car with a roomier trunk?”
The Zingbot’s Ssecond-Best Zing: “Hey Jordan, the only reason Jeff hasn’t proposed yet is because he knows you’re terrible at answering questions.”
The Meanest Zingbot Zing: “Daniele, do you own a car? Or do you still prefer to just rid your daddy’s coattails?”
The Zingbot’s Worst Zing: “Kalia, you write a sex blog, but you seem to be an expert on the things done after sex. Like sleeping.”
The Zingbot’s Second-Worst Zing “Adam, good call shaving your beard. I don’t think your girlfriend realized she was dating Uncle Fester.”
The Zingbot’s Lamest Zing: “Shelly, what do you call someone who likes to smoke, hunt and fish? A dude.”
The Zingbot’s Second-Lamest Zing “Rachel, every other word out of your mouth is the ‘F’ word. Fiancee, fiancee.”
The Zingbot’s Most Dated Zing: “1995 called. They want their soul patch back.” (To Jeff, which isn’t cool since I also have a soul patch and love it.)
Thursday night is the big double eviction episode, which is the second best thing about Big Brother after the Zingbot. Since we probably won’t get a lot of coverage on the events of the past few days, I’ll just say that Shelly and Porsche fought very, very hard to get Adam to flip and save Daniele, but he has refused to budge. So Daniele is almost certainly going to be evicted.
(Image courtesy of CBS)