Tired of watching Synchronized Diving and the 10 Meter Air Rifle? Take a break from those silly Olympic Games and join me in watching something truly meaningful, something that we, as a nation, will be talking about for generations and generations. Who cares about competition between the greatest athletes known to man, brought together for all the world to watch, playing for national pride and triumph? Give me people dressed in unitards competing for the right to eat food inside an air-conditioned house. That’s right, screw you, Olympics. Big Brother is here.
It’s been a few episodes, but I’m finally back on the Big Brother beat, and I’m excited as hell (in case you were wondering, I was hunting a rare type of three-toed sloth in the mountains of Tazmania, using only a rustic set of bow and arrows, for the last week and a half…it was fun). Tonight, we’ll see if either Libra or Keesha can manage to get off the block by means of that slippery Power of Veto. I’ll be here throughout the episode spewing live thoughts all over these here internet tubes.
Jerry’s insane. Libra’s insane. April’s insane. Michelle’s insane. This is fun.
Jerry’s crazy hatred of Dan is so incredibly hypocritical (though, to be fair, Jerry probably doesn’t remember Brian, let alone the events of week 1).
Sadly, I really don’t even know who to root for right now.
OK, I’m rooting for Keesha and Dan. That’s it. Dan is pretty effing happy to not be nominated.
Jerry says that the only way Dan’s vote would be justified is if he were America’s Player. Is there any way Jerry came up with that on his own?
Keesha goes to her room and cries after nominations. Dan comes in to talk to her. Go, Team Not Totally Likable Or Redeemable But Better Than The Mind-Numbingly Annoying Other Houseguests.
Libra catches Dan, Renny and Keesha and says, no matter what happens to her, she wants them to knock April out of the game. Later, Michelle brings Keesha into the HoH room and tells her that Libra is the target. Keesha decides to not say anything about her orchestrating (in her mind) Jessie’s eviction.
Let’s pick some PoV players, eh? Libra, Michelle, Keesha, April, Memphis and Jerry will play. Michelle chooses Ollie to host.
April calls Libra a stupid bitch outside to Ollie and Jerry. April really, really, really annoys me. Jerry thinks Dan is much more dangerous than Libra. Jerry goes to the HoH room for a talk. He wants Dan out. He tells Michelle that he thinks Dan is America’s Player. Michelle agrees. Pretty insightful by Jerry.
Memphis and Dan decide to scare some people while they sleep. They put bandanas over their faces and whack Renny, Libra and Keesha with some pillows.
PoV competition time. The backyard is full of onions. Hundreds. The players put on chef hats. They have to gather and chop onions and run to the other side of the chopping block and place their chopped onions in either the PoV box or the mystery box. The top two mystery box players get a mystery prize. Most onions in the PoV box wins PoV.
The players get forty five minutes. Jerry’s strategy seems best – he’s putting the onions in a chopper and then grabbing the pieces as they fall out. Keesha’s makeup runs down her face as she cries. Memphis wants nothing to do with the PoV and goes completely for the mystery box.
Memphis and April win the mystery prize.
Each mystery winner chooses one mystery envelope. Memphis “gets” to where an onion necklace for twenty four hours. April wins a five designer outfits from a personal stylist that she can wear and take home.
Jerry ends up winning the Power of Veto, beating second place Libra by a robust four pounds. Keesha cries when she doesn’t win.
“Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” says Libra after the competition.
Jerry, post-comp, keeps calling Dan Judas. Jerry is out of line and really dumb. I knid of hate myself for liking him earlier in the season. I’m over you, old man.
“I did that for Jessie,” Jerry tells Michelle. No person in their right mind would do anything for a mental midget like Jessie. Jerry wants to take Keesha down and take out Jessie. Michelle wants Libra gone, and putting Jessie up could hurt that possibility.
Michelle won a feast during the food competition. Now they eat it. Keesha has the idea to have everyone go around the table and say something nice about everyone else. Memphis gives a completely non-sensical speech. Renny gives Jerry props for being old. Way to stay alive, old man. Jerry cries after the compliment. Renny gives love to all the girls. It’s a veritable cryfest out here. Dan gets up and says that despite their issues in the last couple days, he really appreciates all the things Jerry’s done and the advice he’s given. Jerry replies by shoving it back in Dan’s face, saying he won’t be forgiving him. Keesha says that she hates that April and her don’t get along.
Michelle calls Libra out for being a Debbie Downer in the Diary Room. Ollie says his piece, but it’s not much.
Mid-dinner, Ollie and Libra talk alone. Libra says that during their recent fight, she was incredibly hurt by Ollie talking smack. She has a cry and Ollie gives her a hug, says he’s sorry.
Libra then tells him that it was Keesha who set up Jessie ejection. Michelle is still going on about Libra talking smack during the love fest. To be fair, I think Libra was trying to be funny, in regards to the designer dress comment. Michelle is really reading too much into it. They decide to bring Libra into the HoH room to confront her about it. Way to blow things out of proportion, ladies.
Libra arrives in the HoH room and makes it clear that she was joking. Keesha has to take it personal, though, and it turns into a fighting match. Memphis leaves, wisely, and lets the ladies yell it out. Michelle gets in the middle. I can’t understand anything, because everyone’s yelling at each other. Dan, hearing the yelling upstairs, is happy about the conflict.
It turns into Keesha calling out April for whispering in her ear about Jessie. April denies it all, and Keesha leaves. She hates April so, so much. I’m with you, Hooters.
Michelle follows Keesha out and tries to understand Keesha. Keesha is being driven insane by April. “I can’t play the middle man between crazy and crazier,” says Keesha. One of the better quotes of the season. Michelle looks to be thinking different about April now.
What will Jerry do with his Power of Veto? I’m not sure Jerry knows how the Power of Veto works. He thinks that he can put Dan up on the block. Wrong, kind sir.
Veto meeting time. Keesha’s speech is short – she knows why she’s there, because she had Jessie evicted. Libra also knows why she’s on the block. Jerry then goes on a rambling speech, telling the story of Michelle’s nominations. He calls Dan out for his supposed religion. “You will always be Judas in my eyes,” says Jerry. But, he’s not going to use the Power of Veto.
Keesha and Libra remain on the block, which probably seals Libra’s fate. Dan is unfazed by Jerry’s speech.
I’ll be back later with a full recap.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of BigBrotherCaps.com)