Cue the bright lights, the triumphant music, an extra helping of RoboChen emotion; the Big Brother 10 finale is here! It’s been a trek. I think I’ve written about nine novels’ worth of content on Big Brother this season, most of which has been shamelessly silly. But, let’s be honest, Big Brother, as a franchise, deals in abject silliness. Big Brother, as much as it was originally touted as an Orwell-ian social experiment, is simply a purer and better produced version of Joe Reality Show, the likes of which poison VH-1 on a daily basis. Big Brother has endured nearly a decade of tenuous life thanks to a preternaturally faithful audience. W.y? Big Brother attracts a special kind of person. Do you know anyone who would want to be on Big Brother? It requires an ego that doesn’t quit, a type of confidence that should be studied by sociologists, and the results have been more interesting than they should be. Big Brother 10 has been one of the better Big Brother seasons and that can be chalked up to the inexact science of casting. Allison Grodner, as much as fans might like to hate on her, has the unenviable task of acting as a mad alchemist prior to every Big Brother season. This season it more or less worked out, which is nice, because casting for this show is a crapshoot. You don’t always find a Dan or a Memphis. W.o will win? I’ll be here all episode (starting at 9pm ET/6pm PT), monkeying around, flinging thought poo in the internet’s general direction.
No, really? Really? They are re-capping the entire season, beginning with Brian’s Week 1 eviction. I’ll be taking a little nap right now.
ACK!! Michelle’s unitard is a knife to my abdomen every time.
Dan and Memphis really did tool Jerry late in the game. Keesha’s eviction still kills me – really cold-hearted, and a move that might win Dan the game.
Can i just get Jerry’s fall into the pool on a continuous feed for my computer?
And the pre-show season recap clocks in at eight minutes long. Fill-ah, fill-ah, fill-ah, fillah!
Julie Chen is rocking a black almost-cocktail dress and what strikes me as bigger hair than usual.
Dan and Memphis both wear shirts and coats with the shirts un-buttoned, dropping some serious man cleavage. They look like one of the kids from Growing Up Gotti. All they’re missing are the orange fake tans.
The jury gathers outside, all did up, waiting for the final jury member to arrive. Jerry shows up. April is wearing what looks like a latex Catwoman suit. She looks like a cat burglar. Jerry says that Dan and Memphis played everybody to the end. He calls them a “force to be reckoned with.” Keesha is pissed that Jerry didn’t put up Dan and Memphis together. Jerry and Renny start yelling at each other. This is awesome. Renny calls Jerry a “chauvinist pig.”
Renny says that Memphis is the most “insensitive” person she’s ever met. Keesha calls Dan a good player. She knew it was game, but she still likes him. Michelle thinks that Dan’s game was very underhanded. April says it was embarrassing, Dan’s behavior. There’s a lot of bitterness out here.
Libra – the voice of reason tonight. Who woulda thunk it?
Also – Ollie seems to be going against April. He respects Dan, the way he played the game. Michelle tells Jerry about the trip with Dan – this is news to Jerry. J-Spot isn’t surprised – everyone knows Dan’s a player. Keesha says that Dan was a great player. Jerry says that Memphis let Dan do all the dirty work, but he was every bit as culpable in the moves as Dan was. Keesha counters, saying that she did all the dirty work for Memphis.
April loving on Keesha? Say wha?!?!? She says that Keesha was a strong player. But, April also thinks Memphis was the better player.
Time for the Jury interrogations:
Libra: W.at were your most strategic move? Dan says it was back-dooring Michelle.
April: To Memphis – W.y should she vote for her? He says that they got separated early, and never got back together. He says he’s been a straight shooter. The jury doesn’t buy it.
Michelle: To Dan – Tell everyone why he chose her to go on the trip, and why he said it was his alliance’s idea to backdoor her? He says he took her on the trip because he wronged her. He takes part pf the credit for the backdoor, but not all.
Michelle: To Memphis – why should she give Memphis the money? He gives Michelle props for being a competitor. He didn’t need to win HoH’s. He rambles, though.
Ollie: To Dan – why would he put his girlfriend’s name on the line when making the deal? Dan was just doing what he could to get Ollie’s trust, shameful or not.
Renny: To Memphis – name one thing he did for her in the game. He can’t really answer it. He says he gave her himself, whatever the hell that means. He says that he didn’t connive, that he was up front.
Keesha: To Memphis – why Keesha? W.y Jerry over her? He says it was THE hardest move he had to make in the house. He didn’t like seeing her upset, but it was a game move he had to make. He says it bothers him that he might have ruined a friendship.
Jerry: To Dan – you showed arrogance, do you have respect for the jury? He said he threw the cardonce, but that was the one time he was arrogant. The moves he made weren’t meant to be disrespectful, but only to get further in the game.
Jerry: To Memphis – would he had taken Jerry to the final two had he won the final HoH? He doesn’t know, because he didn’t have that situation come up.
Memphis makes his final plea. He thanks everyone for a great summer. He tried, throughout the season, to be an asset to everyone else. He says he only threw two HoH challenges. He asks for their votes only if they think he played a better game.
Dan’s turn. Dan says that he came into the house and saw all the tough competitors. He said that he knew he had to align himself with the right people, and that he needed to outhink everyone. His Roulette ploy, he says, was meant to piss off some jury members so that Memphis would want to take him to the final two.
April says she liked Memphis’s speech better. Um, really? W.at were you listening to, blondie?
The jury arrives live outside the Big Brother house. They high-five the audience on the way in. Ollie does a stupid somersault. Renny gets a big cheer, milks her entrance for all its worth. Keehsa has a hard time walking in heels, apparently.
Commercial, then votes.
And we’re back. Julie talks to the final two. Dan is pretty nervous, says the interrogation was intense. Memphis says it was like being on a firing squad. The jury is here, and now it is time to vote. One at a time, they will insert the key without revealing who they voted for – they also get to make one last statement.
Libra says when all else fails, go crazy. Don’t know what the hell that means. April is all smiles, thanks them for the experiences. Michelle gives congrats. Ollie is going with the patented suit and backwards cap look. I like it. Renny says this was an easy decision for her, continues to chew up screen time. The producers are not happy with Renny tonight. Keesha gives us some moderate cleavage tonight. Jerry finishes up, says he tried to get rid of both of them over and over again.
Time to go to the commercial. The votes are locked. The first four evicted houseguests (Angie, Steven, Brian and Jessie) will show up and tell the jury members what they missed. There are no big revelations this season (at least not like Eric being America’s Player), but I’m sure the non-jurors will level some bombshells on the jury.
Hey, Big Brother alumni in the crowd! You guys aren’t remotely famous anymore! That sucks!
Let’s talk to the first four evicted houseguests.
Brian first. He gives congratulations to Dan and Memphis. He says that no one ever got personal. He asks Ollie about the temper tantrum. He calls out Michelle for being mean to Libra, and then points out that Michelle and April were awful to Keesha in the jury house. Steven is next, says that Jerry was disappointing in the way he reacted to things. Also, that Jerry called Judas and his awful treamtent of people after Michelle won HoH. W. go to the tape. Jerry responds, saying that when religion is brought into it, he could only bring religion back. Jerry kind of apologizes.
Julie says that there was no plant, no season-long America’s Player. But, they reveal that Dan was AP for one week. W. see him have to hug Jessie and get him nominated and get him evicted. Michelle says “I knew it.” Julie asks if Jessie would like some words for Dan. He says no, that he’d like to address America. He says next to nothing.
Julie then informs the jury that America has been voting for their favorite juror, and that the winner will receive a prize ($25,000). That reveal, along with the winner, will be announced after the break. W.’re almost there.
MOMENT OF TRUTH. Time to crown the winner. Winner gets half a million, runner-up gets fifty thousand.
Libra votes for Dan.
April votes for Dan. Wow, it’s over folks.
Michelle votes for Dan.
Ollie votes for Dan.
DAN WINS BIG BROTHER 10!!!!
It looks like the vote was unanimous. Dan deserved it, he played the best game. Both guys exit the Big Brother house, finally, and there are hugs all around. The winner of the America’s jury vote comes after the break. My money’s on Keesha.
It was unanimous!
Julie announces that it was a close vote between the top two jurors. Jerry came in second. Keesha wins!!! Good for her. She deserved something.
And that is that for Big Brother 10. I’ll be back later with a full recap. Plus, stay tuned over the next week for extensive wrap-up coverage of the season here at BuddyTV.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of BigBrotherCaps.com)