DING DONG: It’s official. Phone salesman/unfunny aspiring comedian/30-year-old boy/known idiot William Holman will bring to fruition all those amazing talents this August on Bachelor Pad. [EW]

Attention all freedom-loving Americans: There will be no new episode on Monday, July 4, so we can all celebrate our nation’s birth the way the founding fathers intended. By getting drunk, eating hotdogs and blowing s*** up. We will return to ABC’s regularly scheduled programming of The Bentley-orette the following week. [ABC Press Release]

She gets to this happy place and is almost a little arrogant and cocky because of it, but I don’t think she thought through the effect it was going to have on the guys. It’s like you walking up to your boyfriend and saying, “For the last couple of months I’ve been sleeping with another guy, but the good news is I don’t want to have sex with him anymore.”: Chris Harrison just called the Bachelorette “cocky” and accused her of cheating, you guys. Basically. He also admitted that the show has disingenuous editing techniques. He’s the host with the most (chutzpah)! [TV Guide]

“At that point, I was almost beyond the intensity of feelings I had for Bentley with other guys and in fairness to them, needed to be sure that the “dot-dot-dot” Bentley gave me became a period.”: More wishy-washy excuses from Ashley over on her weekly blog post. Also, “dot-dot-dot,” do you guys think this is the only time the elements of grammar have ever played a crucial role on The Bachelorette? [People]

Today in “Come ON, ladies!”: Ashley dealt with her crippling emotional insecurities by losing 10 pounds. [Life & Style]

Ames’ blow to the head has lasting repercussions: According to Reality Steve, Ames has moved on from Ashley and is dating fellow Bachelor Pad contestant Jackie Gordon now. Remember when she made the seawitch cry? [Reality Steve]

But HOW?:
That is a question you should never ask when you hear a rumor that two people had sex, unless that rumor is circling about two Bachelorette contestants, Ashley and Bentley, who are basically prisoners to producers at all times. They’d really have to Shawshank it for this rumor to be true. Related: YUCK. [Hollywood Life]

Next week on The Bachelorette:
Ashley’s addiction to tied shirts rages on. But at least she has revealed that she does, in fact, own pants. Plus: Lucas gets a one-on-one date, “a romantic dinner on a vintage junk boat,” JP and Ashley will go to “Victoria’s Peak Park for a special individual date where their chemistry is undeniable,” and there will be post-Bentley “confrontational turmoil” at the cocktail party.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.