There are only six HGs left on Big Brother 13, and after this week one more will be gone. The endgame is when you start to think about the jury and who deserves to win. But equally important is who DOESN’T deserve to win.
I admit that I get way too invested in Big Brother, watching Big Brother: After Dark every night and following the live feeds. When you add in the fact that, like Daniele, I love and respect this game, I want to see someone win who deserves it.
I’m not ecstatic about this group of six being at the end. Based on their limited gameplay, I’d say people like Cassi, Dominic, Daniele, Jeff and even Brendon deserve to be there more than some of the current HGs. But there are still a few people left who I think deserve to win (sadly, the person who I think has played the best game is almost certainly going to be evicted this Thursday).
But there’s one person who I absolutely, positively do NOT want to win. Someone who’s game is so embarrassingly pathetic that a victory would completely undermine the entire game and dash my faith in Big Brother as a whole. And her name is Jordan Lloyd.
The fact that she won Big Brother 11 isn’t really a factor in my decision. The truth is that, this season, Jordan has done absolutely nothing but sit back and let her alliance take her to the end.
From the minute she walked into the house, by virtue of being a veteran, she had a solid four-person alliance with Jeff and the other couple, Rachel and Brendon. Since Jordan is the weakest competitor in the group, it was like she walked into Big Brother 13 with three protective shields. No one would ever target her before targeting Jeff, Brendon and Rachel. If that was her strategy or some brilliant bit of manipulative gameplay, I could respect it. But no, all she did was walk in and her path to the end was almost a guarantee. Her weakness isn’t a perception of a strategy, it’s just who she is.
Also, she’s only won one competition, the week 2 HoH. But let’s look at her “win.” Rachel got to pick the order the HGs golfed (which, it’s worth noting, is the only time I can ever remember an outgoing HoH getting to affect the outcome of the following competition), and she purposefully designed it so Jordan could win. Then Jeff and Brendon both threw the competition. And the veterans also convinced a number of the newbies to throw the competition as well. Jordan didn’t win it, she was handed it.
Now let’s look at the other competitions she’s played in this season.
Week 1 HoH: She was the second person to fall off the banana, only beating Shelly, who has a metal rod in her back.
Week 1 Veto: Jordan couldn’t solve the superhero puzzle to save her life and was tied with Keith and Porsche, both of whom were trying to throw the competition.
Week 2 Veto: She was the first person to fall off the balance beam and didn’t take two weeks of slop to keep trying.
Week 3 Veto: In the spelling competition she spelled “LITTLE,” the smallest word out of everyone.
Week 4 HoH: On the skis, she was the first girl to fall, losing to Daniele, Kalia, Porsche and Shelly, who still has a metal rod in her back.
Week 5 HoH: Jordan was the very first person eliminated in the Knockout quiz.
Week 5 Veto: Jordan failed miserably at rolling a ball back and forth 300 times.
Week 6 HoH: She was the second person eliminated in the counting game.
Week 6 Veto: She was the second person eliminated in the corn hole game.
Week 7 HoH: She did OK to start with filling her bowl with soap, but eventually floundered after a while and wasn’t even close.
Week 7 Veto: Jordan failed miserably at putting together a robot puzzle, even zinging herself about how embarrassingly bad she was.
Double Eviction HoH: She finished a respectable second in the Before and After quiz.
Week 8 HoH: She did well the first time, but then got beat the second time she had to roll the ball down the snake.
As you can see, except for the last two HoH competitions (where she didn’t have to compete against Jeff or Daniele), she has been an extremely terrible competitor, often coming in last or second-to-last. If all she had to do to win was flip a coin, I’d give her less than 50-50 odds.
Jordan doesn’t act like a bad competitor as part of her strategy, she just is a bad competitor. She doesn’t have to convince or campaign or make deals to stay, the others keep her around because they know she’s bad at competitions and they can beat her. There is no strategy, no gameplay, Jordan just sits there like a barnacle and rides along on the bottom of the boat. If she gets rewarded a second time for being the most useless HG ever, I will lose all respect for the game of Big Brother.
(Image courtesy of CBS)