On a show where people talk about having to lie and be deceitful to win, why is it only okay if you’re the one doing the lying and deceiving, but NOT if you’re the one being lied to or deceived?
That has never rung more true following the conclusion of another ridiculous season of Bachelor Pad.
The show didn’t do a good job of keeping the shocking ending under wraps — they alluded to what would happen in every which way without actually saying what happened. I think we can all put two and two together. Right?
But it still didn’t make it any less entertaining to watch the events unfold. So let’s get to it.
Reunited and It Feels (Slightly) Good
No one truly seems happy to be there, and we understand their pain. But the point of a reunion is to ask such important questions like, “Are Blakeley and Tony still together?” “Is Jaclyn still angry with Rachel?” and “OMG, what is Jamie wearing on her head?”
Kalon and Lindzi — America’s sweetheart (Chris Harrison’s words, not mine) and America’s worst “villain” (didn’t he say that one mean thing years ago?) are still together, with her declaring he was “very overlooked” in Emily’s season. Erica has to get her two cents in to tell Lindzi to be careful. Because the words from his archenemy really carries weight at the end of the day.
Michael — His 15 minutes of Bachelorette fame is really up now. While I once found him to be super funny and fun to watch and root for, he’s become the annoying little brother and not at all the good guy he wants people to think he is.
He tells Rachel he didn’t want to do a long-distance relationship, but wasn’t ready to close the book? After knowing she was in love with him, that she was ready to leave the game for him? Please don’t come back on any Bachelor-type show in any way.
Jaclyn — Boo, I do feel bad for her as she watches herself relive the drama of last week’s episode. She’s still emotional over it, and says her friendship with Rachel hasn’t been the same since. Because she literally fought for her 14 times! Because that’s totally a normal thing to keep track of in a friendship.
She’s still sad.
She also seriously thought she would win the money because she was the puppet master of the house, not Michael. Yeah, OK. There’s absolutely no comment or mention about her partnership with Ed, which is disappointing because I like being reminded that Ed is a big, mean jerk.
Blakeley — Gush, gush, gush … she’s never felt like this before … gush some more. She really does seem like she’s some sort of damaged goods who needs someone to take care of her. But hey, she found that man in Tony! The best part is her asking Tony where he was the entire time, since she didn’t notice him, and he answers back with, “Creeping.”
When they announce the news that they’re moving in together, it’s not the news that’s weird; it’s that they get up and address the rest of the cast, like any of them actually care — can you imagine if Chris B. was there? We’d definitely get a roll of the eyes.
But then Tony stands there chatting away for a bit too long, and even Blakeley’s looking around, unable to keep her attention on him. The more he talks, the more you realize …. OH, YEP. HE WENT THERE.
Tony Proposes to Blakeley
“Are you kidding? Are you serious?” are the only words out of her mouth for way too long when everyone’s expecting an answer!
Chris Harrison’s reaction is priceless.
She says yes, the ring is nice and everyone joins them for a group hug.
And Things Get Serious
The celebration doesn’t last long, as the final four are brought out and get their chance to talk.
Rachel — I’m confused about a lot of things. She’s been through a lot: she became a widow, in a marriage only she knew existed and she essentially gave up her best friend for money. She says she believed what she and Michael had was genuine and that she wasn’t making it up in her head. (Why doesn’t the camera cut to Jamie?)
She’s not buying his excuse of not wanting a long-distance relationship because … he’s currently in a long-distance relationship! Oh, snap. Good boy image — gone, completely now.
Nick — He’s happy to have stayed out of all the drama because his hands are clean and that’s how he wanted to play it. I don’t know if I believe that his actual strategy coming in was to be a — to borrow a word from another network reality show — “floater.”
But he probably realized quickly that it may be more beneficial in the long run to stay out of the drama because other people will want to get their enemies out first.
Chris — Looking pretty Kalon-esque, he comes out with Sarah and they’re still acting lovey-dovey, but we’re not told if they’re still together outside of the game. Not that that’s what everyone is wondering.
He does seem genuinely embarrassed for his actions, as someone who didn’t know what he was doing in the house, saw himself on television and said, “Did I actually say and do those things?” Yep, buddy, you did. Not that it makes me feel any sympathy for you. He keeps saying it’s been “tough.” His family doesn’t have anything good to say. His dad says that’s not the way he raised him. Ouch, but the truth hurts.
Actually remorseful? Or because his friends and family didn’t approve?
Blakeley is soooo over Chris. Not only has she found her man, but she’s engaged. Jamie, with her shiny head piece, and taking a page out of Erica’s book when she tells Michael that Holly picked the right guy, says he’d never be a good dad to Emily’s kid.
Yeah, well, Jamie, I agree with Jaclyn when she says you’re socially awkward.
Chris and Sarah or Nick and Rachel?
It’s decision time for the cast, who will vote for which couple deserves to win. The first couple to get to nine wins. With the twins voting as one, there are 16 total votes, so I’d like an explanation on what would’ve happened if there was a tie, since no one can get to nine. But anyway.
Michael votes for … Rachel and Nick
Jamie votes for …. Rachel and Nick
Kalon votes for … Sarah and Chris
Ed votes for … Rachel and Nick
Blakeley votes for …. Rachel and Nick
Dave votes for … Sarah and Chris
Erica votes for … Sarah and Chris
Reid votes for … Rachel and Nick
Lindzi votes for … Rachel and Nick
Donna votes for … Rachel and Nick
Tony votes for … Rachel and Nick
Jaclyn votes for … Rachel and Nick
Rachel and Nick win!
Turns out, the rest of the remaining votes are also for Rachel and Nick. So they were, um, the twins, Paige, Donna, umm … oh, the guy who was (is?) the virgin.
So the two now have the ultimate partner test to see who, if any, wins the money. If they both decide to share, they will each get $125,000. If only one chooses to share, the person who chooses to keep it will get the full $250,000. If they both choose to keep the money, neither will get it, and the prize will instead be split evenly with the rest of the cast.
Chris “SWAT” wants the money. Everyone else would share it. Jaclyn says only Rachel should keep it, since she “deserves” it.
All About the Benjamins
They seem to both wrestle with the decision, as they’re both shown holding up both the “KEEP” and “SHARE” in consideration.
Rachel shares her decision first: SHARE
Nick shares his decision: KEEP
Nick wins $250,000!
Pretty much sums up the reaction.
Everyone is shocked, Chris Harrison looks happily stunned, the audience doesn’t know how to react but end up cheering — loudly — and Rachel … really had a tough, tough season.
Not only was she manipulated by her one true love, but it was her partner of 2.5 hours.
I wrestled with the decision for a split second. On one hand, could he be any more selfish? On the other hand, what he said in his defense was right. They were both thrown into a partnership. While he was ready to roll with it, she wept and wanted to leave the game. Three times. And she only stayed, not because of Nick, but because Jaclyn talked and calmed her down and convinced her to.
As for “deserving” the money, Kalon said it best — none of them actually deserves the money. They were thrown in this game. If Nick’s strategy was to fly under the radar, it doesn’t make him any less deserving of the prize just because he played a different game in the beginning than his partner.
If someone is standing there in the end, it doesn’t matter how they got there — just that they did. Even though I see Nick’s side in taking the money, it doesn’t mean I would’ve done the same. I would’ve felt super bad that I was responsible for someone not getting the prize when the final challenge was won by both of them.
Backstage “after” the show, a teary Rachel confronts Nick, saying they had a conversation just two days ago about splitting the money — and they both gave each other their word.
So here’s where the lying and being deceitful thing comes in that I mentioned in the beginning of this recap. I know Rachel feels bad she couldn’t pick Jaclyn and Ed to go with her to the finale, but what Nick did to her was the exact same thing she did — right?
Jaclyn thought all along she and Rachel would be loyal to each other and take each other to the final. Then Rachel did the exact opposite. Rachel thought all along she and Nick would be loyal to each other and split the money if they won. Then Nick did the exact opposite.
It’s just more shocking because he’s the first person in three seasons to decide not to share the money.
And it didn’t help that Nick was acting like a “schmuck with $250,000” and not being sympathetic towards Rachel. But that’s about the only thing I find “wrong” with his decision.
But again, Rachel gets the shaft. Man, is she in therapy yet?
Dark and moody, just like Rachel.
(Image courtesy of ABC)