The cesspool is open for business again!
Rumors have been circulating for weeks about which Bachelor and Bachelorette alums would grace us with their tanned, toned beach bodies and demented desperation for love and/or $250,000 in prize money on Bachelor Pad 3.
And today, US Weekly revealed the motley cast, which just goes to show that there really ARE no rules on Bachelor Pad, because last season’s winner, Michael Stagliano, has returned to … I guess … defend his title? More likely, he’ll be trying to publicly work out his issues, since his ex-girlfriend/co-winner Holly Durst got married earlier this month to Michael’s on-air nemesis, Blake Julien.
But enough about that tired old drama. Check out the fresh (and not so fresh) meat who are already out in LA, getting ready to film Bachelor Pad 3. As you’ll recall, this season will be the first to feature Bachelor “super fans” who, inexplicably, wanted their chance to be a part of the half-naked hell-fest.
Michael Stagliano (Bachelorette Season 5, Jillian Harris, and Bachelor Pad 2): He took home half of the $250,000 last season, after watching the girl he loved get engaged on live TV. How do you think the rest of the cast will respond to his return?
Ed Swiderski (Bachelorette Season 5, Jillian Harris): Jillian’s final choice and ex-fiance has flown pretty under the radar since they broke up (amidst sporadic rumors that Ed had been fooling around on her). Can’t wait to see how he has, and hasn’t, changed.
Reid Rosenthal (Bachelorette Season 5, Jillian Harris): Some fans thought it was romantic when Reid returned to Jillian Harris’s final rose ceremony and proposed — only to get rejected again. Others thought it was a bit, err, overly dramatic. Reid’s newly single and ready to mingle, so who knows what moves he’ll pull at the Pad?
Kalon McMahon (Bachelorette Season 8, Emily Maynard): Of course the egomaniacal “luxury brand consultant” who showed up in a stupid helicopter and acted like a completely self-absorbed ass until he was kicked out for calling Emily’s daughter “baggage” is going to be on Bachelor Pad. Of COURSE he is. He was born for this role.
Ryan Hoag (Bachelorette Season 4, DeAnna Pappas): He was eliminated pretty early, and is probably best remembered for being a virgin. Hoag is also a football player, though currently a free agent — in more ways than one, we assume.
Nick Peterson (Bachelorette Season 7, Ashley Hebert): The hunky personal trainer. Best remembered for his surfer blond hair and huge muscles.
Tony Pieper (Bachelorette Season 8, Emily Maynard): The sad lumber trader who left the show early because he didn’t want to be away from his young son. Looks like someone didn’t learn his lesson…
Mystery Man (Bachelorette, Season 8, Emily Maynard): Meaning one of Emily’s remaining guys. Any bets?
Chris Bain (super fan) and David Mallet (super fan): Their moms must be so proud.
Lindzi Cox (Bachelor Season 16, Ben Flajnik): Ben’s horse-loving runnerup is bringing her perky energy back for another shot.
Blakeley Shea Jones (Bachelor Season 16, Ben Flajnik): The much-loathed cocky cocktail waitress is, indeed, much better suited for the likes of the Pad.
Sarah Newlon (Bachelor, Season 11, Brad Womack): I don’t remember her. Do you?
Jamie Otis (Bachelor, Season 16, Ben Flajnik): The sweet nurse who took care of all her younger siblings and wore terrible ice dancer dresses and straddled Ben as a last resort to get him to love her.
Erica Rose (Bachelor, Season 9, Prince Lorenzo Borghese, Bachelor Pad 2): She was on Bachelor Pad last season, during which she continued to wear her signature tiara and cried when all the guys threw the ugly-eggs at her. And she tried to seduce Jake Pavelka. Why WOULDN’T they ask her back?
Jaclyn Swartz (Bachelor, Season 16, Ben Flajnik): One of the blondes from Ben’s season best remembered for her grudge-holding and sh*t-talking abilities.
Rachel Trueheart (Bachelor, Season 16, Ben Flajnik): The more normal blonde from Ben’s season. The cute one. The one with bangs. You know.
Brittany and Erica Taltos (super fans, competing as one contestant): Yep, just what this show needed. Sisters/twins with a “THREESOME, ANYONE?” sign above their heads.
Paige Vigil (super fan) and Donna Zitelli (super fan): They get to go INSIDE the TV and drink all the vodka and cry all the tears WITH their favorite reality stars! It’s like magic! It’s a nightmare dream come true!
Stay tuned for the official Bachelor Pad 3 cast photos from ABC. Until then, who are you excited (or appalled) to see on this list? Who do you think will have the skills, cunning and charm to make it all the way to the end?
(Images courtesy of ABC)