Beverly Hills Housewives, I missed you! Well, everyone except Camille. They’re back with a Beverly Hills bang as Kyle takes Kim to the plastic surgery office. Don’t worry, it’s for an electro-facial (“as close as you can get to a face lift without surgery,” says Kyle). It’s awesome, Kim looks exactly like that episode of the Twilight Zone with that crazy mask on.
I’m dying; it’s so crazy looking. But, spoiler alert, neither of them came out looking like this:
RHBH twilightzone2.pngIt would have made for an interesting hour, though.

Next we meet Martin, Ken’s best friend. He’s English and charming so Lisa wants to set him up with Kim. Lisa isn’t really pitching Kim very well, “you like Kyle, right? Well she’s nothing like Kyle. You know how you love those tall brunettes? She’s a shorter blonde. You know how you don’t want children? She’s got four.” What’s in this for Martin again? I don’t care, this is hilarious and there’s no way it will go well.

Remember how Russell (Taylor’s husband) got Kennedy a puppy? Well it turns out Kennedy is allergic to dogs. Of course! Sadly, Kennedy is very attached to the dog and this is a big bummer Russell has brought upon the house of Armstrong.

UGGHHH Camille is going dress shopping for the Tony Awards. She says it’s her husband’s big night, “and mine too, as far as I’m concerned.” Also, Camille is still not over the small drama that happened in New York, so she’s going to try on clothes and strut around in them to make herself feel better. She tries on dresses for her team of supporters (“you look so, so good. Incredible!”), and ends up purchasing several dresses, including the one we see her wearing in the intro. Good job spending money, Camille! You did it!

It’s Paul and Adrienne’s anniversary, and we are not surprised to learn that Adrienne was a little cold to Paul when they first met. I love them, though. Paul surprises Adrienne by thinking about their anniversary in advance. He got her a harp player to play as they have wine and appetizers in their sitting room. Harp music to bicker to. Then they bicker over a fancy meal in their magnificent dining room. Then Paul leads Adrienne outside to introduce her to … a new German Shepard puppy! She actually likes this gift! It went over much better than Kennedy’s puppy present.

Taylor brings Russell to their outdoor living area (“it’s an outdoor couch!”) to talk about the puppy. Russell argues that Kennedy’s allergies are “getting better,” and doesn’t want to give the dog away. But Kennedy’s eyes are swelling shut and she has rashes! It’s a really crappy situation, and it doesn’t seem like Russell is grasping that.

Kim is SO nervous about going on this date–more nervous than she should be, but she’s a nutcase.
The set-up is at a dinner party, hosted by yet another one of Lisa’s fabulous friends. Oh, and it is fabulous. The ‘wives are wearing dresses most of us would never even have an excuse to wear. By the way, Camille is not there. Great party!

Kim arrives a little late, in a leopard dress with her boobs way out. She calls it “Kim style. All Kim.” Yikes! Despite what the dress was saying, Kim was incredibly nervous and uncomfortable. As the food was being served, Kim disappeared and was replaced by Giggy. She’s either lost in one of the house’s seventeen bathrooms, or seduced by a Frenchman. It turns out it was kind of the latter. Still, Kim was taken in by her and Martin’s common love of peas. Also, he was very sweet to her. The best part of the whole evening, however, was when Cedric high-fived himself.

Kyle and Mauricio are very affectionate with each other, and Taylor is a little jealous because all Russell does is buy dogs their daughter is allergic to. Things were going well between Kim and Martin but she’s pretty awkward and mentioned that she married her first blind date. Something tells me Martin is just being charming and not extremely interested.

(images courtesy of Bravo and CBS)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).