Oh A Double Shot at Love, with your soft-core porn tendencies and lipstick bisexuals, it’s no wonder you’re a hit. Tonight’s Double Shot at Love contained much of the things we’ve come to expect from an MTV Reality show: people who have become caricatures of themselves, hosts who have not learned the lesson of hosts past, nonsensical challenges, and a little skinny dipping thrown in for good measure.
With their first elimination done, the Ikki twins are ready to really get to know the contestants who are seeking a shot at love with them. The first challenge for the potential-lovers today is the third annual bi-athlon. (Biathlon–get it? MTV is so subtle with these things.) The biathlon, which was really an obstacle course, pitted the boys against the girls for a sexy pool date with the Ikki Twins.
The guys and girls couldn’t be more excited for a chance to win a pool date with the twins, especially after the possibility of an Ikki-led skinny dipping session is hinted at. Jen, the previously quiet lanky lifeguard, goes as far as saying an Ikki Twin skinny dipping session is “something even God wants to see.” With that in mind the girls team tackles the biathlon with a vengeance. They navigate through a cage filled with taut bungee chords with determined grace, they ran and opened boxes filled with blow-up dolls like it was the Olympics, and when it came to digging in a pool of flour to find bracelets to dress their blow-up dolls with, the ladies dug like the bottom of that pool was covered in diamonds.
The men, despite putting in a strong effort at first, got tangled in the bungee chords which Matt explained “felt like getting hit in the face with a thong,” which we’ll just have to take his word on. The race was pretty much neck and neck until the 4th lap of the race which pitted quiet computer engineer Paul against butch “platinum lesbian” Nicky. Paul never stood a chance, and the girls went on to beat the men by a full lap. So far in the history of the Shot at Love shows, the men’s team has never won a biathlon.
With the ladies winning, the girls have a bikini clad pool party in their future; while it’s a trailer park themed evening for the guys. It’s not a total loss for the guys though, as they are visited by the Ikki twins in the fake trailer park scene they created. Adding to the significant creep factor of the show, the Ikki Twins continue to show up in matching outfits. For this trailer park occasion, it’s flannel midriff bearing muscle shirts and denim short-shorts.
As explained last week, Vikki will be wearing her hair up, to help viewers and the contestants tell the twins apart, but it’s not doing much good. Every shot of the girls still includes their names embossed below them, and I still can’t tell them apart. At least, I’m not the only one. Surfer boy Trevor still can’t tell the two of them apart, despite having made out with them both. VIkki’s the one with the hair up remember Trevor? We told you this last week! The girls are also wearing necklaces with their initials on them, but Trevor hasn’t figured that out yet. Next time we suggest checking out their rack and then taking a peek at their necklaces. You get their names right, you’ve done a little ogling…it’s a win-win situation.
After toying with the guys in the trailer park, it’s off to a “super sexy, elegant” pool party with the winning ladies. The Ikki Twins decide they’re going to use this pool party to spend some two-on-one time with the ladies and take Nicky to their bed first to converse. Nicky, the lone butch lesbian in the group, says it’s her goal to be the 3rd “ikki,” but we can tell she doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning. Both Vikki and Rikki bring up the obvious gingerly, they’re not really into butch ladies, they’re more the lipstick types. You wouldn’t say? In the first episode the Ikki Twins decimated their butch options, leaving only Nicky in a sea of “dabblers” and lipstick lesbians.
The Ikki twins confront Nicky about her sexuality, asking if she wishes she was a guy rather than a girl. In the lone moment of honesty during the episode, Nicky confides that she believes she was “born different” and when asked point blank by the girls if she’d “like to get a penis,” Nicky says with a smile “that would be nice.” The Ikki twins act like they’ve never met a lesbian who’s struggling with gender identity issues before, and mouths agape they tell Nicky they’d like her as a guy, but they love her as a girl. We don’t believe that for a minute and we know with that moment of honesty, Nicky has basically bought her plane ticket home.
After leaving Nicky, the twins go venture out to spend two-on-one time with a few of the other girls. Kali gets everyone’s attention by stripping down to her skivvies and skinny dipping, proclaiming “we’re going to get this party started now!” It seems to work for Kali at least, as Vikki passionately kisses Kali while she exits the pool topless and they begin a major make out session, that verged on soft core porn.
Rebekah, who the rest of the girl contestants have dubbed “the attention whore,” can’t deal with anyone else getting attention, so she strips off and demands two-on-one time with the girls. Vikki, who’s previously been making major eyes at Rebekah gives in with a kiss and the Ikki twins take Rebekeah off for some alone time. I was certain this “alone time” was going to turn into another Vikki and Rebekah make out session, but in seemingly a matter of seconds Rebekah has changed her mind and decided the twin for her is Rikki, not Vikki. With no warning, Rebekah turns to Vikki and says she just wants to be friends, despite the fact she was checking her tonsils moments earlier. Rikki, who is currently kissing Rebekah’s neck, in front of her reasonably confused sister, nods in agreement as Rebekah asks, “can’t we just be best friends and I can be in love with your sister?” Unfortunately Vikki didn’t say, “hell no, you’ve kissed me already and that would be incredibly weird.” Instead Vikki sits there as her sister makes out with her crush and laments later, “it’s like she just dumped me.” And for a moment, you feel bad for Vikki, until you remember she’s made out with about 15 people in the past two days.
Despite Rebekah’s change of heart and Kali’s skinny dipping, there’s nothing too juicy about the girls pool party and they call it a night. The next morning the house wakes up to word of an individual challenge entitled “Arm Candy.” Arm Candy may be one of the most ridiculous competitions I’ve ever seen on TV. The girls and the guys have to drench themselves in red candy-coating and balance on a pedestal on one leg while holding a lollipop. The Ikki Twins say this test is to see who has enough stamina to keep up with them. Whichever individual lasts the longest, wins a two-on-one date with the twins.
Unlike the biathlon where they dominated, the girls quickly fall out of the arm candy competition. Ultimately two men are left standing after an hour and a half: Paul and Trevor. Paul is determined to make up for his failure during the biathlon, where his performance cost his team the win. But the balancing skills of surfer Trevor prove to be too much for Paul; who after nearly an hour and forty-five minutes collapses off the pedestal. Trevor is triumphant and will spend some alone time with the twins, while Paul is carried back to the house by Nicky and Elise. When they arrive at the house, it becomes clear that something is wrong with Paul. He’s in the “most excruciating pain of his life” and he can’t feel the entire right side of his body. So, while Trevor is getting gussied up for his individual date, Paul is being treated by an EMT.
Trevor heads off to his individual date with the twins, who both seem to be harboring a major crush on him. When he arrives, the girls sit on either side of him and say they think they owe him a massage after all his hard work standing on the pedestal that afternoon. Instead of going for Trevor’s shoulders, the Ikki twins start massaging a region that would get most masseuses fired and charged with solicitation, but this is reality TV.
Vikki, who notices Rikki and Trevor really seem to be feeling each other walks off so the two of them can enjoy some alone time. Alone time with the Ikki twins involves very little talking and a whole lot of making out. By the time Vikki returns, Trevor has his pants off. Instead of being turned off by this, Vikki says it’s her turn for one-on-one time with Trevor. Moments after he finished rounding second base with her twin sister, Trevor is curled up with Vikki saying a few sweet nothings and then of course, completely sucking face with her. Trevor leaves the date the happiest man in the house, but we see the twins affections for Trevor becoming a problem in the future.
After their time with Trevor, it’s time for the twins to decide which five of the contestants are going home. Paul, who obviously hasn’t watched enough reality television guarantees he’s gone by saying, “there’s no way they’re sending me home.” See ya, Paul. Trevor is the first guy to get a key and Xoe, who we saw virtually nothing of in this episode, gets the first key for the girls. Scott, Rosemarie, Kali, and Josh are also all granted keys, and then comes time for the guys elimination.
For the guys it’s between cry-baby band guy Nick and intellectual meat head Matt. Lucky for Nick, Rikki has felt an instant attraction and connection with him, so she offers him a key. Nick, of course, accepts the key and begins to cry. After hearing Nick’s name called, the veins in Matt’s overly-sculpted body begin to pop and dramatic music begins to play…you know this can’t be good. In frustration and devotion for the Ikki twins, Matt drops to his knees and says the girls made a big mistake and that he could see himself falling in love with both of them. Rikki tries to comfort Matt with a hug, but he more shoves than embraces her before leaving. However, thanks to the dramatic music and the close-up on the other contestants faces, we know that this isn’t over and that Matt had not learned Ashley from A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila‘s lesson: after being kicked off, don’t try to come back in. Unfortunately, not only does Matt (who bears a resemblance to the Hulk when he’s angry), come back in, he gets aggressive with the Ikki twins, resulting in security guards being called.
Now it’s time for the girls, with the drama level having been raised to a boil and the heat is still on. There are four girls remaining and only one key. Elise is sent home for being too quiet. And then comes the inevitable: the Ikki twins tell Nicky, the lone butch left, that her shot at love has ended. Nicky cries a bit, before telling the Ikki twins “I like this one, she’s a good girl,” while pointing to Jen. Her words for Rebekah, the remaining lady are not so kind. However, the Ikki twins have their mind set, and they chose Rebekah to stay. Jen, who we were just starting to like, calls Rebekah a ho before leaving. Jen is greeted outside by an angry Nicky, who screams to the Ikki Twins “I hope you both fall in love with the same person and have it all go to shit.” With the drama that’s stewing with the dual affections of Rikki and Vikki for Trevor and Rebekah, Nicky’s statement could be prophetic.
— Abbey Simmons, BuddyTV Staff Writer
[Image Source: MTV]