Week 2 and we’ve already got the young guy who plays the guitar. Oh, that’s Country Vinny or whatever his name is–he’s already a musician! Anyway, this week, The Biggest Loser is putting ageist stereotypes to the test. In a GIANT ROOM FILLED WITH DONUTS!

This is awesome. Have you ever seen a donut room so glorious? It’s a Temptation Challenge, of course, and each team has chosen a representative to go first. The gym will only be open three times a day this week, an early time, a mid-day time, and a late night time (UH OH, OLD AND YOUNG PEOPLE!). To choose their workout time, they must eat the most mini donuts.

Antone, representing the black team, wants that early morning time. Vinny does not. Neither of them eat, while Mike chooses to eat more than a couple mini donuts. Each team member will have an opportunity to be tempted. Joe is trying really hard to convince the other team members that he is eating the donuts by pushing his plate and water bottle around.

What happens to the glorious donut room when this is all over? Maybe the losing team has to strike the set. After more failed attempts to sound like they were eating the donuts (haven’t they heard someone eat a donut before? EXACTLY. You don’t hear anything!), it looks like it comes down to blue team Mike’s donut-scarfing versus John’s (of the black team). Mike ate 11, and John ate 37. “Oh, sh*t!” Mike exclaims. John looks so embarrassed he might cry.

5 things The Biggest Loser should do with those giant donuts>>

So the middle-aged team wins and chooses the early morning workout slot, and gives the older team the mid-day slot because they respect them. This throws the late-night time and a dis at the young team.

Bob and John have a heart to heart about why he fell into temptation:

Do-nut Start With Me
By their own donut-eating design, Bob wakes the black team up at 4 am. Time to work off those 37 donuts. Bob makes a good case for working out early in the morning. You get it out of the way first thing, whereas late in the day you can find any excuse not to work out.

“I didn’t come here to eat 37 donuts,” John realizes. Then Antone went crazy on the stationary bike. Forget exercise, Antone has things he needs to exorcise! Jennifer and Sunny (who are they?) are pushing through a bum knee and frustration with John. Sunny confronts John about calling her stupid, and everything blows up. John is talking crazy, and putting his butt on the line to be voted off soon.

At noon, the seniors hit the gym with Anna. “Get yoh haht rate up, Bonnie!” the Terminator yells. She’s so pissed she got the old team. There’s an old Russian saying, apparently, about sitting on the couch, spitting at the ceiling, and expecting things to happen. You’re not supposed to do that, Boston Johnny!

Aww, Dolvett got his first product placement! He loves yogurt that much! The red team heads for the gym at 9 pm. Dolvett doesn’t care about a crummy time slot because he got the young team. Is Dolvett a gemini? He’s got a real split personality. Then Jessica blamed her ex for “pushing [her] toward food.”

Time for Dr. Huizenga’s Truth Bombs. Guess what, everyone, you’re not healthy. Jennifer is approaching diabetes. Bonnie lost a lot of muscle and her other knee is about to bust. Ramon HAS diabetes and didn’t know it. HUIZENGA’D!

Below is a clip of Dr. Huizenga showing Vinny how toxic his blood is due to the 205 pounds of excess fat:

So A-maze-d
For this week’s challenge, Alison tells them they will be letting their weight work for them, and we see an aerial view of one of those gravity ball labyrinth puzzles. Are they going to roll around in a giant labyrinth? No. They will use their body weight to steer the ball into the hole. The red team (“the Young Guns”) are up first and get stuck in the middle of the puzzle. This challenge looks like it would be fun.

The blue team goes next, and their strategy is to keep Bonnie from moving as much as possible. It doesn’t work very well as a strategy, and they get stuck in the middle, too, in the same spot as the young guns. The blue team is always just proud to finish, and this time they finish in 14 minutes and 45 seconds, almost twice the time of the red team.

The black team steps up to the board, and Sunny bosses their weight around. But they get stuck in the same spot as the other two teams. Oh, and it’s close. The black team gets their ball in just seconds ahead of the red team. The black team gets a two pound advantage, and the red team gets one pound. Do you like Joe and his love of beating the red team? I’m not sure I do.

In the two-hour last chance workouts, everyone is under pressure. Even Bob’s team with their two pound advantage. You know who is an awesome trainer? Dolvett Quince! I want an app with things he says to play during my workouts, which don’t yet exist. “It hurts to look good, that’s why I’m in pain every day.” That is awesome.

Week 2 Weigh-In
The red team is up first, putting the excuse of “not enough time” to the test. Vinny lost 5 pounds, which is not a promising start. Jessica lost 7, Courtney lost 7, and Patrick lost 6. I think once he loses a lot of that weight he’ll be a fox. Ramon, who got Huizenga’d pretty bad this week, is last to weigh in for the red team; he lost 9 pounds!

Joe, who was feeling confident, weighs in first for the black team and lost 2 pounds. Jennifer, who was injured this week, lost 6. Sunny also lost 6, Antone lost 10 pounds, and it’s all up to John. John lost 15 pounds and effectively saved his own donut-eating butt. They’re safe, so it’s down to the blue team and the red team again.

For the blue team, Becky lost 5 pounds, Mike lost 7, Bonnie lost 3. We’re all starting to lose faith in Anna. It’s up to Boston Johnny, who has been making a lot of excuses. He needs to have lost more than 8 pounds, but he gained 2. That is not good. I could cry.

“You have to fight to stay here,” Anna tells Johnny. Look who’s talking! So the blue team, the “Senior Slickers,” is going to elimination again. It will probably be between Johnny and Bonnie, right? Their names rhyme, so this could get confusing. Can they vote Anna off?

Bonnie vs Johnny
No deliberation. Becky voted for Johnny, Johnny voted for Bonnie (of course), Bonnie voted for Johnny (of course), and it’s getting really confusing. Thank god Alison explained it all and sent Johnny home quickly. It’s too bad, because I like that guy, but Anna seems to antagonize the whiners on her team, so this isn’t a surprise. She should save that feedback for the workouts, and not talk about it during the weigh-in. But what do I know? I’m no tennis champion.

These days, Johnny is looking good, wearing porkpie hats, and not eating donuts while making weird sex noises.

(images courtesy of NBC)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).