Television is the true home of heroes. Superheroes, crime-fighting heroes and everyday heroes grace the small screen on a regular basis. But what about those who don’t quite measure up? What about the wannabes? Well, there are a lot of them on TV too. Here are 20 of the biggest of television’s wannabes.
#20 Morgan Grimes, Chuck
Upon finding out that there were spies in his midst, Morgan wanted in. Not that he had any particular skills or talent in that arena. Despite his lack of any spy ability, Morgan has almost become a useful member of Team Bartowski over time. He can even do yoga!
#19 Jason Stackhouse, True Blood
Jason is a true hero in the bedroom. Unfortunately, that doesn’t translate to any other venue. As a vampire killer, town savior and police officer, Jason Stackhouse desires success far more than he achieves it. But at least he’s pretty.
#18 Charlie Pace, Lost
Still stuck on his once-successful band, Charlie got to the mysterious island with some serious inferiority complexes. He participated in roughly every major investigation and event during the castaways’ first couple of island months, but Charlie didn’t quite manage to be the hero. He did graduate from wannabe to hero status in the end. But it killed him.
#17 The Trio, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy faced down vampires, gods and hell itself on a regular basis. So how did Warren, Jonathan and Andrew — a threesome of wannabe nerds — ever hope to win against her? Mostly they were just kind of irritating. Granted, Warren did wreak havoc by going on a shooting spree, but otherwise the Trio were particularly inept nemesises … nemeses.
#16 Alby Grant, Big Love
Always in the shadow of his polygamist patriarch of a father, Albie is pathetic when he isn’t vicious. He does win himself the compound, but it’s been kind of a mess for him. And dear, departed dad still overshadows poor Albie!
#15 Kirk Gleason, Gilmore Girls
Kirk was the ultimate wannabe because he wanted to be just about everything. Electrician, shopkeeper, salesman … You name it, Kirk did it. Unfortunately, he never seemed capable of sticking with a job for more than a couple of days. It did limit his achievement possibilities.
#14 Vince Masuka, Dexter
Masuka likes to think he’s cool. He likes to think he’s a ladies’ man. Masuka likes to think that he and Dexter are buddies. He’s wrong.
#13 Hiro Nakamura, Heroes
Despite having one of the coolest superpowers of all time — the ability to bend time and space — Hiro was never much of a success. Failing to save the girl or the world or his dignity on a regular basis, it was not until Future Hiro arrived with his ninja coolness that the man transcended his wannabe role.
#12 Andy Bernard, The Office
The “Nard Dog” is desperate to be loved, but behind the obnoxious facade is a failure at work and love. He’s the company’s worst salesman (that’s saying a lot), and he lost Erin to Gabe. Even Andy’s constant references to graduating from Cornell fail to impress anyone.
#11 Nate Westen, Burn Notice
Michael Westen’s little brother is excellent at getting himself and others into trouble. Getting out of trouble requires help though. Nate always wants to be like his big brother but somehow fails every time.
#10 Murray Hewitt, Flight of the Conchords
You know you’re pathetic when even a complete failure of a band doesn’t particularly want you involved. Well, you’d think you would know that. Murray didn’t.
#9 Jeremy Gilbert, The Vampire Diaries
Jeremy wants to help out. He really wants to. Unfortunately, Jeremy’s “help” mostly means putting himself in dangerous situations from which he needs to be rescued.
#8 Jerry Gergich, Parks and Recreation
The butt of all jokes, everybody blames Jerry for their mistakes and uses him as an example of everything bad. It’s not like he’s surrounded by a bunch of overachievers, but Jerry can’t even muster the ability to stand up for himself.
#7 Ralph Hinkley, The Greatest American Hero
You’d think that the gift of a superpower-imbued spacesuit would lift anyone above wannabe status. But, thanks to a lack of coordination and instructions, Ralph Hinkley proved that a special-ed teacher didn’t particularly have what it took to save the world with style.
#6 Sheriff Don Lamb, Veronica Mars
The guy is a jerk, but that didn’t make Neptune’s Sheriff Lamb any less of a wannabe. With his failures to catch any legitimate killer or solve most crimes before Veronica or Keith Mars, Lamb was truly pathetic.
#5 Chang, Community
Although he did successfully pass himself off as a Spanish professor for a period, Chang hasn’t exactly succeeded in his attempts to join the study group. Still, you’ve got to give him credit for winning Shirley when faced with impending zombie doom.
#4 Harmony Kendall, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
As a bitchy teenager, Harmony was one of Sunnydale’s queens. As a vampire, however, she wasn’t much. Unable to beat even Xander in a slap fight and just an annoyance as Spike’s girlfriend, Harmony wasn’t even good at being bad.
#3 Tobias Funke, Arrested Development
He had been a reasonably successful psychiatrist before messing that up, but what Tobias most wanted was an acting career. Unfortunately, he couldn’t act. He could, however, dress up like a female British housekeeper or paint himself blue.
#2 The Ghostfacers, Supernatural
Harry and Ed, the Ghostfacers, wish they could be Sam and Dean Winchester. Geeky nerds desperate for ghost-hunting fame, they mostly only manage to record over-dramatic footage and get their intern killed. At least they have persistence on their side.
#1 Fozzie Bear: The Muppet Show
Fozzie thought he was funny. All evidence indicated the contrary. Fortunately, Fozzie didn’t really care.
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Laurel grew up in Mamaroneck, NY, Grosse Pointe, MI and Bellevue WA. She then went on to live in places like Boston, Tucson, Houston, Wales, Tanzania, Prince Edward Island and New York City before heading back to Seattle. Ever since early childhood, when she became addicted to The Muppet Show, Laurel has watched far too much TV. Current favorites include Chuck, Modern Family, Supernatural, Mad Men and Community. Laurel received a BA in Astrophysics (yes, that is possible) from Colgate University and a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies and History of Science from Columbia University before she realized that television is much better than studying.
