'The Vampire Diaries' Review: The Lady is a Vamp
'The Vampire Diaries' Review: The Lady is a Vamp
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Stefan finally came out as a vampire and Damon got his awesome strength back on The Vampire Diaries, but this episode wasn't about the boy vampires.  Sure, they're very, very pretty to look at, but now it's time for the lady vampires to shine, because for the first time, there ARE lady vampires!

The Vampire Diaries decided to up the ante by using flashbacks to 1864 (complete with totally inauthentic dialogue and absolutely no Southern accents) and by making one of the series regulars turn into a vampire.  As if that wasn't cool enough, it's also my favorite non-Damon character.  And the fantastic streak of randomly killing off minor recurring characters continues!

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Catherine the Vampire

Now that Elena knows Stefan is a vampire, she needs to get all the dirty gossip, which means a full and detailed report about the Catherine issue, which it turns out was way back in 1864.  Damon and Stefan were fun-loving, football-playing Confederate soldier brothers who both fell in love with Catherine, a woman who looks exactly like Elena, probably because they got Nina Dobrev to play the part.

The basic story is that, after making sweet, sexy love to Stefan, Catherine bit and turned him.  She did the same thing to Damon, but entranced the two so that they could all live together in perfect harmony.  In other words, the lady wanted herself a Salvatore Sandwich, also known as a Devil's Three-way.  For more on this, watch this Monday's new episode of Gossip Girl.

I admire her chutzpah, especially since seducing both Stefan and Damon is certainly on every lady's mind.  The sad part is that these flashbacks only lasted about one minute.  I want more Catherine, and more importantly, I want to know what happened to her.  In theory, she should be a character on the show soon enough (I haven't read the books, so that's not a spoiler, just my educated guess), but the casting issue then becomes a problem, unless she got some plastic surgery.

But they could have Dobrev play a dual role, since her time with Paul Wesley could be cut short due to the fact that Elena dumped her vampire boyfriend at the end of the episode.  I guess living out every teenage girl's current fantasy isn't what she had in mind.


Vicki the Vampire

Our second lady vampire is none other than Vicki Donovan, awesome druggie chick and all-around bad-ass.  The last episode ended with Damon sucking out most of her blood (again), but the dang girl won't die.  So he takes her back to his place and they party all night long.  He even lets her drink some of his blood to liven her up, and they proceed to do a sexy dance all over the house.

She's in her underwear and his shirt is unbuttoned, and it's Vicki and Damon, the two best characters on The Vampire Diaries, being awesome together.  This needs to be what the show becomes.

Their play date comes to an abrupt end when Damon snaps her neck, but that's all part of the process.  In the world of The Vampire Diaries, becoming a vampire is a three-step process.

Step 1: Drink a vampire's blood
Step 2: Die
Step 3: Come back to life and drink a human's blood


Vicki hit 1, 2 and the first half of 3, but she ran off to be with Jeremy before she could finish.  She freaked out for a bit and ran away, only to be chased by Stefan who tries to rationally explain the whole human-to-vampire transition.  Wow, I've seen vampires used as a metaphor for homosexuals before, but this could be the first time I've seen vampires used as a metaphor for transgendered people, which I think this kind of is.

Through an odd set of events too complex to get into, Aunt Jenna's reporter boyfriend shoots Stefan with a wooden bullet, gets killed by Damon, and then has his blood sucked by Vicki, completing her transformation.

So now Vicki is a full-fledged vampires, which means she will be kicking ass and taking names.  It's time to put an end to this Jeremy-Tyler love triangle.  Unless, maybe, like Catherine, she's thinking it's time for a Devil's Three-way of her own.



-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)

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