'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Recap: Talk it Out
'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Recap: Talk it Out
Welcome back to the exciting world of Insurance. Vicki is faxing, making copies, doin' all that OFFICE stuff when Brooks stops by to be creepy with a cup of coffee. "You had a tough night, didn't you?" Brooks says blandly. Vicki blames her fight with Brianna on anything but Brooks. There's probably more to it, right?

Vicki insists that sticks and stones may break her bones AND words hurt her! Something is wrong with her face. I don't know if it was a lift or a tuck gone wrong somewhere along the line, but there are lines that do not occur in nature on her face, and it sort of looks like when Heidi Montag got upset on The Hills but a little baggier.

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Vicki whine/cries that Brooks is not an opportunist and she feels that she should "let [him] fly the coop." Yugh.

Give us Heather! She meets with her actress friend Dina, who she met on the set of the sitcom "Men Behaving Badly." Oh, Heather Paige Kent. She is considering changing her name to Heather Dubrow, which means that she would never work again because her credits on IMDB would all be altered! And "Dubrow" sometimes gets pronounced like "eyebrow" and it's gross to her.

Gretchen tells Slade she thinks maybe they should go to therapy to address his financial issues in a safe place, in front of a third party. Slade's response is to sigh and look annoyed. Therapy means spending more money--why can't they just talk about it between themselves? Or get it all out through the power of stand-up comedy?

Alexis hasn't given up on Alexis Couture just yet. It's blowing up! So, naturally, Alexis has to do a photo shoot in Alexis Couture's latest looks. As much as she would love Jim to be there to critique her every flaw (I'm sure!), she's just too busy these days. And now Alexis is going to be on the cover of "Beauty & Entertainment" magazine. Find it at a Don's Pharmacy near you. Also, I have a feeling this second line isn't "100% by Alexis" as she claims.

This line looks pretty trashy, especially when she stands with her legs apart and you can see through the dress. I will admit, though, Alexis has improved in her modeling skills, only because the bar was set so low with last season's shoot.

Not even Heather Paige Kent is above going to the DMV to get her name changed, or the social security office, or wherever it was that that guy was not amused by her antics. No one there was. They work all day and they aren't impressed by beautiful people with money. OH, THE WORKING CLASS. Heather Dubrow lives!

Tamra is moving forward with this fitness club idea, so she wants to talk to people who have done it before. Tamra has always wanted to have one of two things: her own bar or her own gym. How about a gym/bar? No, that's a terrible idea. Tamra talks to the owner of some other gym about business and it wasn't particularly interesting.

Vicki calls Alexis to plan a girls' trip to Costa Rica for four days. "Costa Rica is in Mexico, so it's south!" Alexis tells the cameras. Oh my god, brilliant. No time for studying geography when you are designing dresses! She leaves messages for Gretchen, Heather, and Tamra. They all say yay.

Heather stops by Terry's office to show him his present. She shows him the name change certificate, and he gets teary-eyed! I'm touched that he is touched. That is so cool. I love Heather and Terry.

Gretchen and Slade are going to see the therapist, and they argue in the car on the way there. Dr. Pamela Varady greets them and seats them on her big comfy couch. It's just all about comfort and lushness at Dr. Varady's! Gretchen wants Slade to pay his own child support, for the sake of his masculinity, and Slade promises "it will be handled because I'm going to handle it." Slade admits that he could be doing things in a more timely manner, namely taking care of his past.

Before they got to Costa Rica, Mexico, Alexis wants to resolve things with Tamra. She asks Tamra where their "friendship" went wrong. It went wrong when they just weren't really friends to begin with. Alexis looked better in that flashback. They argue about the Bunco party, the nose job, and then they just start kitchen sinking until they're mean to each other.

Alexis asks Tamra to be real with her, so Tamra tells Alexis that she thinks she's shallow, and rude. And Tamra left out stupid. Then Tamra betrayed Heather, and told Alexis that Terry has said she is "one of the biggest phonies he knows."  Alexis asks Tamra to be respectful in the future, and Tamra tells her she doesn't give a sh*t.

(images courtesy of Bravo)

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