Carole and Aviva continue their fight from last week's episode at Aviva's housewarming party. Carole tells Aviva that she doesn't critique the way she parents, which is the only job she's ever had, so Aviva shouldn't critique her writing career. Aviva counters by telling Carole if she were pregnant, she would be nothing but supportive. But Carole tells Aviva exactly where she can shove her support.
Aviva maintains that "word on the street" says that Carole used a ghostwriter to write What Remains
. Who is spreading these words all over the streets? The gossipy publishing elves? Show me some receipts, Aviva.
Carole is getting so upset that she's literally shaking. She tries to disengage, but the fight continues outside of the room and into the stairwell. Aviva says Carole is not a "well-wisher." Carole calls Aviva a soulless psychopath. Aviva shuts her down with the classic zinger, "At least I'm not 50 years old!" Zing?
Before she leaves, Carole debriefs with Heather. She suspects that Aviva made up all this dumb drama to increase sales of her book that otherwise no one would want to read. She calls her a snobby, stuck-up, ill-mannered joke. She even calmly approaches Aviva's husband, Reid, before she leaves to tell him that his wife "is not a nice person." She also tells Aviva's ex-husband, Harry, "Nice to meet you, I totally understand the divorce." Take notes, Aviva, that's how you deliver a zinger.What Writers Do
Heather meets with Ramona to discuss, among other things, Book Gate. They both agree that the housewarming party was neither the place nor time for Carole and Aviva to have it out. Heather thinks that the way Aviva acted toward Carole was despicable and slanderous, but Ramona remains unconvinced. Fresh off of a make-up with Aviva, Ramona is convinced that there must be some middle ground.
Carole meets with her book editor to go over a re-write for her new book, The Widow's Guide to Sex and Dating
. See, guys, she really is a writer! Just ask her editor, Barbara Jones, who wishes she would have used a ghostwriter because a ghostwriter would have been way less difficult and nitpicky than Carole.
Carole feels bad that she let Aviva get under her skin, and then took it out by being snippy with Barbara Jones, editor, MD. She admits it wasn't her best moment, but at least it felt good to do a bit of screaming.
Sonja meets with a new intern to discuss whatever it is that her interns do. She says that wealthy families just send her their children so they can "learn from her mistakes." Sonja is turning into Little Edie
right in front of our very eyes.
Aviva is having her book cover photo shoot at Central Park. She wants people to think she's just like a "regular girl next door," so not half as crazy as she really is. Kristen comes to visit the shoot and tells her that she can totally understand how Carole feels because of her writing career. Aviva assures here that she too has writing experience. She was an English major, after all, and then she went law school at Vassar. Therefore, she has the same experience as a professional writer like Carole.
Kristen straight-up tells Aviva that she thinks she's jealous of Carole. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Kristen. I know you're new here, but usually that kind of dig is saved for the confessionals. Aviva deflects the comments by looking at the turtles in Central Park.This is a Spartan Race
Ramona's daughter Avery is getting ready for prom. Ramona is already getting Ramotional about the thought of her only daughter leaving for college. She says Avery is the most important person in her life and losing her will be like losing an arm. You have to feel especially bad for Ramona, with the hindsight that not only will she be losing her daughter this year, but also her husband
. Anyway, she intends to use a lot of pinot grigio and Xanax to calm her nerves about Avery leaving. Better double that prescription.
Cool Carole is throwing a cool baby shower for her cool friend who got pregnant in a cool "new old-fashioned way" of using a sperm donor. Heather can't make it so her husband, Jonathan, and daughter, Ella, come in her stead. Kristen is there too with her kids and so is Sonja and Ramona. Carole says that she likes children, but she doesn't feel like she's missed out on anything by not having them. Except someone to guilt into sharing the holidays with her when she's 80.
Ramona pulls Carole aside to clear the air about her part in Book Gate. Ramona doesn't want Carole to feel like she abandoned her at the housewarming party, but Carole admits she was upset. Ramona says she doesn't want to be friends with Aviva if it means not being friends with Carole, which is really kind of sweet in a round-about Ramona way.
arole says that Aviva has no respect for her and she defamed her character. Her first book was about her late husband, so the subject is sensitive for her. And Ramona realizes that Carole's work is really everything to her, and this is the only thing that Aviva could have said or done that would have really hurt her. Ramona hugs Carole, and actually apologizes. Singer Apologies are rare, but not unheard of.
Kristen and her husband, Josh, are running a Spartan Race for Josh's company. Heather and her husband, Jonathan, join them, although they are very obviously way more into it than Kristen. She's nervous about the amount of people at the race and the 20-foot rope over a mud pit, but Heather and Josh assure her that they have her back. Josh promises to run the whole race with her.
That promise only lasts about the first leg of the race, though. As soon as Kristen shows a sign of slowing down, Josh and Heather and Jonathan take off without her. Kristen says this is the most difficult thing she's ever done, and she's bummed to be doing it alone.
Even though Jonathan, Heather and Josh come back around to cheer for her after they finish, Kristen is still mad at Josh for abandoning her. She says that she hated every second of the race, and it would have been nice for him to support her while she was there to support him and his company. All he can do is tell her to "man-up," which is a ridiculous thing to tell your wife and the mother of your children. Maybe you should man-up, Josh, and stop being such a jerk to your wife.
Next week, get excited for the return of The Countess! (Image courtesy of Bravo)