'The Real Housewives of New York' Recap: Deals with the Devil
Monday, June 11, 2012
Aviva is having dinner with her favorite person in the world: her husband! She adores him. They will also be joined by Heather and her husband Jonathan Schindler. They talk about The Hamptons and health, and whether or not Jonathan Schindler is related to the "Schindler's List" guy, who is not Jewish. Super appropriate. Despite Jonathan having a famous rabbi for a father, it seems that everyone knows Aviva's ex-husband.
At least two of the other Housewives have slept with Harry, who was like Slade is to the RHOC, but before the show. LuAnn and Sonja have slept with Harry, which Heather tells Aviva and her new husband. This is awkward, and I'm just on the edge of deciding I don't care for Heather. She talks about her son's liver transplant again, and Aviva advises them not to spoil him. Then they talked about Ramona, and I bet the husbands were enthralled.
Ramona and LuAnn meet at the park to argue some more. LuAnn wants to clear the air, and Ramona doesn't care to. LuAnn says she was hurt that Ramona called her a bad mother, and Ramona says the way you raise your children is your business. No one will apologize. They attack each other with statements that begin with, "you do [this]," and it's not effective arguing.
"She KNOWS what she said," LuAnn says in an interview. But we will never know. Ramona proposes that they make an agreement not to attack each other, but she's crazy about it and LuAnn can barely stomach it. She agrees only to see how it works out.
Aviva and Carole meet at some giant closet filled with leopard print clothes. While they shop, Aviva mentions LuAnn's "hit and run" drama, and how weird she feels about it. Carole feels weird about it, too, and was extremely uncomfortable listening to it. They change the subject to love, and Carole is casually seeing a guy who is touring with Aerosmith. I agree with Aviva, Carole is so cool. She is casual, and just picks up some guy with a girlfriend at the store. Hot damn I want to be Carole.
Sonja is leaking. She called some plumbers, but is distracted because one of them is making her hot under the turtleneck. She looks at him suggestively, but is not as good as picking up dudes as Carole. It's awful. She's jumping, and trying to flaunt her boobs, and staring at him lazily. She wants to cook for him in her toaster oven.
Carole's casual boyfriend, Russ, is a solo artist, and wrote a bunch of songs about her. Oh my god, Carole. So awesome. She loves to miss people and do the long-distance relationship.
Meanwhile at Heather's home in The Berkshires! It's peaceful and un-pretentious and real! Heather's father just passed, as she is constantly telling people when she's not talking about Jax's liver transplant, and she and her sister go through old memories of their father. Then they raise a glass to their father at a memorial party.
LuAnn's son is failing French. This is unacceptable. His French isn't the problem, it's the motivation. LuAnn asks Noel to do his homework. At least! It was cute. Then Ramona swept out of a car in a lime green sweater in the city.
Aviva and Ramona meet so that Aviva can form her own opinion of Ramona. They talk about Ramona/Mario telling Heather she interrupts, and Ramona doesn't feel bad about it. In fact, she's glad she said something because it made Heather feel awkward and interrupt less! Aviva doesn't want to get on Ramona's bad side, so she asks her about LuAnn. Aviva recommends putting it behind her and moving on, but that's just not the Ramona Singer Signature Style! She claims to be ignoring it, though. Ramona and Aviva make a pact to always deal with the problems between them face to face.
The New York Housewives are invited to the GLAAD Awards, and Sonja and Ramona are presenting. Ramona sits Carole down and asks her if she was "a spokesperson" for ABC News. What? Carole's too smart for that sh*t. Sonja Morgan is introduced as a presenter (by Manila Luzon!), and doesn't show up because she's chit-chatting and snacking in the green room. Awkward.
"GO TO THE NEXT AWARD," Ramona instructs from the audience. She finally shows up, not caring that she was late because she has a toaster oven cookbook. Let's go dance with some drag queens.
(images courtesy of Bravo)