The New York Housewives are going to Morocco! Don't worry, LuAnn has already learned how to say "darling" in Moroccan. No, not Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey's baby, Moroccan--the language! The brunettes travel together and arrive first. The accommodations are stunning.
The blondes arrive the next day, ready for battle. Ramona needs white cotton sheets, feather pillows, and her pinot grigio at all times. Ramona also asks that the staff unpack her bags for her in the list of needs she e-mailed beforehand. Even The Countess does not do that! Ramona has a rider now?
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Even though she's a blonde, Alex admits that Ramona and Sonja are acting a little spoiled and sort of offensive. I don't get what's going on with Sonja Morgan this season. I liked her so much more last season. The brunettes greet them in Moroccan luxury Snuggies (okay, they're kaftans). Sonja, drink in hand, goes back to check on the luggage.
Speaking of luggage, Ramona packed a metric ton of clothing and jewelry. And weights. She literally packed weights. She brought a lot of sexy/borderline-skanky clothing and it's not appropriate. Even Kelly knew it was too sexy.
Cindy walked in to check on things, and noticed that she was missing some hangers. It became a big thing. It wasn't so much about the hangers as it was about someone going into her personal space. Sonja and Ramona started talking about her before she was even out of earshot, so Cindy fired back. Ramona suggested that Cindy needs a hanger up her butt. It was a non-issue.
The blondes decide they don't want to eat lunch with the rest of the women, so the brunettes talk smack about them in their absence. After lunch, they go shopping and Jill meets up with her friend Brad who just RAVES about Morocco. Brad also knows Ramona, and doesn't really care for her.
Ramona and Sonja are being so rude already. They'd been drinking all day, and ignored LuAnn's invitation to come downstairs, even with the promise of white wine. After some time, Ramona and Sonja come down wearing clothing that are more revealing than the kaftans everyone else is wearing.
LuAnn introduced a famous Moroccan designer, and Ramona was pretty rude to him. She doesn't like the kaftan look, but she wanted to make sure the designer got her name and measurements down, as well as her preferences. She is being the worst! They asked him to put a log on the fire!
The women dress up and meet Brad for her birthday party. Ramona is texting at the party, Sonja is drunk, and Cindy is in a bad mood. Sonja was telling the story about Cindy's teeth and Cindy felt attacked. A snake charmer interrupted the awkward conversation.
Then some of the Housewives put snakes on because, according to Jill, "it's like a belt." Jill looked good with that snake on her head! Brad also brought a fortune teller, which would be so fun at a party! Fortunately, some of the 'wives speak French and can translate.
The fortune teller told Jill that she talks too much, and Sonja that money is not life. Kelly is going to have another baby. She told Ramona that there's another woman, which really brought the party down.
Two more episodes in Morocco! All I know is that I want a kaftan. (Image courtesy of Bravo)