You know this season's Bachelorette
, Ashley Hebert, is a dentist right? Just want to make sure that headline gets the full set of LOLs to which it is entitled.
Anyway: The season 7 premiere is upon us this evening (9:01pm. OH-ONE-PEE-EM.), and what better way to celebrate than getting mind-numb on a Monday?
Tonight's premiere is full of outrageous entrances, mysterious intrigue and the classic stench of desperation you've come to crave from The Bachelorette
, so do your part and print out this original drinking game, head to the store after work, buy a few bottles of your favorite white zinny* and gather those lady-friends and self-secure man-buddies to watch Ashley's 25 aspiring suitors put the "idiot" in "idiot box." It will be a Bachelor
blast. A Blastechor
.*Nickname for zinfandel, I don't know if I made it up but if I did: TRADEMARK.
Drink every time...
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Someone says "here for the right/wrong reasons." Drink 2:
If he admits
to being there for the wrong reasons. (Beeeentleeeey!
A guy speaks in a foreign language. Drink 2:
When it's Drunk Tim and he's speaking blackout-gibberish. (I love you, Tim.
A guy kisses Ashley. Drink 2:
If he picks her up.
Masked Jeff is creepy. Drink 2:
When the creepiness multiplies thanks to strategic Phantom of the Opera
-esque music and lighting.
A guy calls his mother (normal first date stuff). Drink 2:
When his mom talks about sex (almost TOO normal first date stuff).
Dentistry is mentioned. Drink 2:
Tools of the dentistry trade (for example, floss) are used as props for romance
Someone gives Ashley a gift. Drink 2:
It's wine! (Yell "WINE TIME!" when this happens.)
Someone says "journey." (Extra fun: Sing "Don't stop, believin' ..."
) Drink 2:
Someone says "husband."
Ashley talks about how hot someone/the group is. Drink 2:
When you disagree.
I hope to adapt this game as the season progresses, but until then, this is the best, most universal, catch-all Bachelorette
drinking game rule you'll ever need:Drink every time:
Someone says "love," "imagine," "connection," "amazing," or "rose."
Have your own favorite Bachelor(ette)
drinking game rules? (We've played so many over the years, like this one
, and this
, and this
, and this
) Share them in the comments so everyone can play. See you back here for the recap. And please, read responsibly.(Image courtesy of ABC)