Part 1 of the Completely Arbitrary Survivor Predictions were published yesterday, and I must say they’ve been an unequivocal success.  As it stands right now, I’m at 100%, none of my predictions yet proven wrong.  We’ll see how the rest of the season progresses. 

When making silly Survivor predictions, as I have done below with Survivor: Tocantins, it is important to remember that making large, sweeping judgments about people you know little to nothing about is the most desirable path.  Someone’s photo rubs you the wrong way?  They are clearly a terrible human being.  You think one of the girls is hot?  Well, you should predict her to make it deep into the game, if only for the sake of wishful thinking.  Now that I’ve let you into a few of my secrets for Survivor predicting, let’s get on with it.  To The Predictions: Part 2.

Survivor: Tocantins – Completely Arbitrary Pre-Season Predictions, 16-9

#8 – Candace Smith – Timbira

Candace is a model/event planner (probably a graduate of UC-Irvine’s vaunted School of Modeling and Events) who one could only describe as “bosomy.”  I don’t have a great read on her, but it looks like she may have athleticism on her side.  She seems like a lone wolf, perhaps capable of playing things up behind the scenes.  She’ll be caught eventually, and will be one of the first to go after the merge.  

#7 – James Thomas Jr. – Jalapao

The Southerner with the accent is generally a likable character, and I see James being no different.  The stereotype is that these Southern dudes are a bit naïve and can have the wool pulled over their eyes.  James will surprise some people with his mental acuity.  Nevertheless, his alliance will fall apart once Candace gets bounced, and some admirable last-ditch survival efforts will fall short. 

#6 – Carolina Eastwood – Jalapao

Carolina is a little cutie, and she’ll know how to push the right buttons.  However, her quasi-showmance with James will end abruptly and she’ll be left with no one to save her.  Carolina will be a surprising force in the challenges, but her luck has to run out sooner rather than later. 

#5 – Benjamin Wade – Timbira

Ben will be the most-talked about contestant this season.  He wants Survivor to return to the survival of the strongest, and will thus align himself with Jerry the Army Sergeant, Tyson the Pro Cyclist and Erinn the Good Looking Hair Stylist.  Unfortunately, you can only run the game for so long.  After being a force both in camp and on challenges, his Timbira alliance members will become acutely aware that allowing him entry into the final tribal council will end in Ben becoming a millionaire, and a blindside will be birthed. 

#4 – Sydney Wheeler – Jalapao

The super-hot model/interior designer will use her looks for good and not for evil.  More likable than her looks might suggest, Sydney will be a fighter, and she’ll make it further in the game than she has any right to.  Unfortunately, Sydney will be the last woman standing in her alliance.  The Timbira 3 will vote her off, though they won’t be happy about it. 

#3 – Tyson Apostal – Timbira

No one is really going to like Tyson.  But, given his athleticism, the Timbirans will keep him around, knowing that his burned bridges on the jury will preclude him from winning the million dollars. 

#2 – Erinn Lobdell – Timbira

Erinn will be the best female contestant in years, a clever mastermind of the game, and a worthy million dollar winner.  In a perfect world, she would get the jury votes to win a million dollars.  However, the jury will penalize her vindictively for her actions, actions that they wish they could have thought of on their own.  When Erinn loses, the viewers will not be happy. 

#1 – Jerry Sims – Timbira

Jerry is a natural leader of men, an old army sergeant, a more likable Rudy Boesch.  His right-hand man will be Ben, and the two of them will lead their unstoppable alliance through the game.  He will be reluctant to throw Ben under the bus, yet eventually relent when he realizes it’s the correct move.  His million dollar win will be by default, as he kept genial relationships with every single contestant in the game.

-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)

Oscar Dahl

Senior Writer, BuddyTV