Tonight's Grey's Anatomy begins in Iz (Katherine Heigl) and Alex's (Justin Chambers) trailer. Alex wakes up - in boxers - does his morning chores, and he reminds us he's very, very ripped. There is no water so he gargles with wine, or whatever's in the bottle. Then he comes out.
And there's a bear.
And Alex screams like a girl. In the hospital, Iz is a skeptic, says it can very well be a dear. Yes, a dear that stands on two hind legs. In trying to run away from it, Alex says he thew a steak Iz had been marinating for days. They quarrel and bicker while a patient watches on. "I can't move backwards," Iz tells him, when he suggests that they move back to Mer (Ellen Pompeo) and Derek's (Patrick Dempsey) house. We kind of figured she's not just talking about their accommodations.
In a meeting, the chief (James Pickens, Jr.) informs us that the Mercy West people will be arriving in a few days, so Mark (Eric Dane) rethinks grabbing the danish. "There will be more layoffs, so step up," he says. Yikes. Everyone starts talking, and the chief is aghast in disbelief, but he can do nothing.
Meanwhile, Yang (Sandra Oh) is frustrated because there are no surgeries. "You're freaking out a little bit," mer reminds her, smiling. And she goes on checking everyone, every bed, and every patient for something she can do. Textbook Cristina at work.
And then we have the man of the hour come in - Thatcher Grey, also known as estranged daddy Grey. His neighbors found him on the ground, and when he starts to insist that he hasn't been drinking, he pukes blood - on Mer's shoes. "That can be surgical," Yang whispers.
When they get Thatcher to a bed, Karev, Iz, and Yang start hovering above him, and of course it's up Bailey (Chandra Wilson) to shoo them away. Lexie (Chyler Leigh) tells Mer that his daddy is not drunk, Mer just gives her the eye and storms off. You gotta love Mer when she's gloomy.
We get the first patient of the episode - an old man whose son and daughter-in-law obviously look down on him like a useless entity they have to patronize. He tells her, "I'm not demented sweetie, I'm just old." Snap. Left alone with McSteamy, he tells him what he's really in the hospital for, penile implants for the "younger woman" in the east wing (of the nursing home?) he's seeing. "I don't want to disappoint," he tells Sloan, and if there's anyone who understands a concern like this, it's Mark. But he reminds the old man that there are risks involved.
Yang is still without a surgery, and it's hilarious.
Meanwhile, Mer correctly predicts that Thatcher needs a transplant. Bailey confirms the news, and tells him that the only way to extend his life is via a transplant. And the Chief drops the bomb - there's a rule, that alcoholics have to be sober for at least a year to be eligible for the list. Lexie says she's willing to be a donor and get tested right away. Mer rolls an eyeball to the whole father-daughter moment that's happening before her eyes.
Callie (Sara Ramirez) is not too sure whether she'll get her job back, and she knows why: she called the Chief a bunch of names for the whole hospital to hear. Meanwhile, uh oh, trouble in paradise for Little Grey and McSteamy. She is obviously a little frazzled over her dad, while he wants her to make decisions with him. I'm really wondering what kind of potion Lexie gave Sloan for him to be all needy like this. Or maybe it's what people in love turn to.
Then we go to Iz who is dealing with probably her first cancer patient. We know this is going to be dramatic. She makes light banter with him, and eventually, she tells him that she also has cancer so, you know, he shouldn't worry because he's in good hands. We learn that the two have been together for eight years, sans an engagement. "I was going to propose last year but I was distracted by this little thing called cancer," he chides her, who replies, "You got the best excuse in the book." He tells Izzie that the ring is at home and he's just waiting for the right moment.
Back to the old guy who wants a penis implant (pumping the penis, I believe, is the medical term, they put a pump in his "jewels" which they just pump before intercourse - awesome). Yes. His son is not too happy with the move because he's 82 years old. "You wanna die for an erection?" his son screams. The dad reasons, "Wars have been fought over an erection!" Seriously? Wars have been waged over a woman, sure, but I don't think Menalaus wanted Helen just for the erection she could give her.
Meanwhile, to get some surgeries, Cristina is doing everything, short of pimping herself (but then knowing her, she'll do that too if push comes to shove). Then comes Mer, who tells her that her dad needs a transplant, but with luck, maybe he'd croak soon. Didn't we miss the dark and gloomy Meredith?
The four interns, I mean residents, are having lunch with a bunch of organs. Lexie's not a match with daddy, so everyone's convincing Big Grey to get tested instead. They also espy a tick in Karev's neck, and everyone's grossed out. And they quickly forget about the lack of a liver donor for someone's dad.
Meanwhile, Sloan is having a heart-to-heart with the old guy who wants his penis pumped (can't help but giggle while typing that). He says it's more than just vanity, that it has something to do with aging, when every milestone you initially looked forward to - graduations, weddings, etc - are all behind you. Then what, he says? I'm 22, but it seems like a valid concern.
The girlfriends - that's Callie and Arizona (Jessica Capshaw) - are having lunch al fresco in the park overlooking the needle. Sigh. These people are really in love. They talk about the merger and Arizona is trying to convince her to go for it. I mean, beg for her job back. Sara Ramirez is not leaving Grey's Anatomy any time soon, so this all seems moot to me.
Mer is talking to Derek, trying to get him to her side, i.e., the side that it's OK to be not so willing to give a chunk of her liver to Thatcher. Lexie comes in and gives Mer a lecture, she's teary-eyed, and asks Mer to do it for her, not for Thatcher. "She may be crappy to you, but he was amazing to me," she says. Obviously, Mer - or anyone for that matter - can't say no to this.
"We found a match," Mer reports to Thatcher. Then she informs him that it's her. Thatcher says no, because he already put her to too much trouble. What?
The wife of the cancer patient is aghast because there is nothing they can do about him. "You're supposed to do something," she near-screams to Hunt (Kevin McKidd) and Izzie. Because she's a cancer survivor (and a generally optimistic person), she wants to try more things. She informs Hunt that she then had a five-percent chance of surviving, so nothing is impossible.
Mer goes to Alex to happily report that Thatcher refused her liver and thus she's off the hook. "Try again," Alex simply says, and Mer contemplates the matter while Cristina and Derek look on.
Meanwhile, Sloan tells the son and his wife that the old guy's clear for surgery. They voice out their concerns and are not very receptive of the decision, even making a snide comment about him dating a younger woman. "All the guy wants is a woodie!" Sloan berates them, obviously a trifle hurt by the dating a younger woman comment.
Then the chief visits Thatcher in his bedside, and this is bound to be awkward, I can tell. "You have a disease," the chief tells him, to hopefully put some sense into him. Unfortunately, it's a medical conversation, and not a personal one. Daddy Grey repeats what he said about "taking" Mer's childhood and not wanting to do more damage.
Mer arrives to Thatcher's bed and Lexie. She reminds him that she's not doing it to save his life because if he dies, it won't change a thing in her life. She's only doing it for Lexie. It's a last ditch effort to convince him to get that liver. What just happened here? The donor trying to convince the recipient to get the frigging liver?
Sloan explains to Owen and Derek how the operation to pump the penis will work. Because Cristina overhears the word "high-risk," she wants in and Sloan gets her to scrub in, with a little wink-wink to the other attending's. Then she finds out that it's penile implant surgery, and when she tells Mer, Mer laughs her little silly laugh again. I swear I'm falling in love with that laugh.
Mer is being wheeled to the OR, and Derek is adamant in staying. "This is my wife!" he tells Bailey, who later on reminds an unconscious Meredith Grey, "I have had four of my five interns in this table. One with cancer, and one died, don't pull anything funny." Aw, I thought we'll have the first Grey's
episode without any mention of or reference to George (TR Knight).
Meanwhile, Iz is talking with cancer guy before he's wheeled to surgery about proposing. I bet he's not going to make it.
On to Cristina's surgery. Everyone's giggling, so she reminds them that it's not a joke to her. She does her work - "squeezing the scrotum" she pronounces, just when Sloan says, "Nice."
After the surgery, Bailey reports good news to Sloan and Lexie. On the other hand, cancer patient does not have much luck, and Owen storms out of the OR leaving a disgruntled Izzie behind. It was her idea after all. Oh no. Owen tells Izzie that the patient had two months to live, which they just took away. He tells her that it was wrong to put her in the case, and she can't be both patient and surgeon. Ouch.
Meanwhile, Sloan reports that the operation was successful. We also get to meet the woman he's marrying, and she's not a young sluttish vixen at all. Not that I think she would be.
Cristina tells the Chief that while everyone is scared to lose their jobs, she's scared that she'll lose her gift if she doesn't get a brilliant cardiothoracic attending to teach her. She also reminds him that she's brilliant, and therefore cannot go to waste.
Callie comes in to see the Chief. Yang has shaken some sense to him, and he feels like the villain for making some tough decisions. "It must be hard for you," consoles Torres, but just as she is leaving, he tells her to go see HR because she's back. Oh, and have some danish too.
Iz sees the bear for herself. Mer, meanwhile, is still in bed, with Little Grey on her bedside.
- Glenn Diaz, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of ABC)