Flavor of Love

Previously on Flavor of Love 3: Shy continued her audition to be the next Tiffany Pollard (which is sad on many levels). Bee-Ex was on Fear Factor and Grayvee likes to eat pig's feet, which is worse, so Grayvee was eliminated. Hotlanta tested negative for herpes, which Flavor Flav celebrated like he just got his G.E.D.

After the elimination, Flavor Flav takes Bunz away for a night cap, making the other ladies angry because…I guess this week it's Bunz' turn to be the scapegoat? Meanwhile, Sinceer, Thing 1 and Thing 2 are still hating on Bee-Ex for being on Fear Factor. The next morning they get their challenge, which is to dress up in a costume and write a bedtime story about it. And you thought the Brothers Grimm were gruesome.

Shy is teamed with Myammee and Bunz, which sets her off. Bunz is the narrator, because having two kids makes her experienced to read children's books. So does having a 2nd grade education. Arch-rivals Sinceer and Seezinz are paired with Hotlanta. Sinceer thinks it would be hilarious to curse a lot in front of little kids. That leaves Prancer and the Things to work with Bee-Ex. The Things instantly go for the donkey outfit. I wonder what kind of “show” they have in mind. They all get to perform their stories in front of an audience of little kids. I guess the L.A. branch of child protective services was too busy with Britney.

First up is “Flav's Playhouse,” aka “Fame Horse” (think about it and you'll get it). Bee-Ex narrates at a snail's pace while the Things clop around in their horse costume (sadly, it's not a donkey show). The kids are bored out of their minds, but they love the horse.

Second is “The Tale of the Mermaid and the Two Pirate Sisters,” aka “Kids Love Pot.” Seezinz emphasizes group participation while giving the kids pots and pans to bang on for no reason, and Sinceer is just a useless lump as the evil pirate sister.

Finally, we get “The Gumdrop Fairy,” aka “Ass You Like It.” Shy is a little demanding of the kids, forcing them to respond to her. Myammee, as the titular character, comes out and gives gumdrops to all the kids. Wow, bribery, they're not playing around. Bunz comes out as the evil witch, and due to a quick costume change, she doesn't have the support she needs underneath her dress. This results in her bottom being exposed as the kids point and shield their eyes. So this group tried to give the kids diabetes and nightmares.

The kids give their verdict. The second one was in the middle, they were all traumatized by the witch's butt, and they freaking love the horse. Seriously, if I learned anything from this episode, it's that kids LOVE horses. Team one wins, and Shy and Myammee try to scapegoat Bunz. In all fairness, even without the witch's butt, nothing could've topped the horse.

Shy and Myammee verbally assault Bunz and claim she performed certain oral favors for Flavor Flav. Bunz tells Flav this, and he asks Shy and Myammee to apologize, which offends Shy to the core. Those two deny it, and since it's two against one, Flavor Flav now believes them.

The winning team goes on a date, which involves dancing with “Don Flavio.” Flavor Flav puts it best when he says he's dressed like a black Ricky Ricardo. They go salsa dancing, then enjoy some nachos. The Things call out Bee-Ex again on being in “the entertainment industry,” and we revisit this whole ordeal about whether Bee-Ex is only on the show to further her career. God I hope so, because the alternative is that she's finds Flavor Flav attractive, which I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Before the elimination, Flavor Flav holds an airing of grievances. First Shy and Myammee come in, and Shy calls Bee-Ex a “liar, fat-ass piggy, lying fat stank-ass cat BLEEP liar.” I believe that's the working title of Al Franken's next book about Bill O'Reilly. Bunz comes in and defends herself a bit. Then Bee-Ex arrives to name drop a whole lot because her aunt is G-Unit's stylist.

Flavor of Love 3 Elimination Time! Flavor Flav is wearing a full length fur coat that belongs on Richard the Lion-Hearted. It boils down to Bunz and Bee-Ex, and he calls Bee-Ex down. Then he pulls out some papers he printed off the Internet. He did his research to see if she told him everything, and he discovered she was on The Oprah Winfrey Show as Usher's biggest fan and went out on a date with him. She gets the boot, but since she's already been on a date with Usher, why the hell would she downgrade to Flavor Flav? That's like going from filet mignon to a half-eaten orange you find in the trash.

Next week on Flavor of Love 3: the women go through an obstacle course that involves eating, jumping rope, water rescue, and advanced physics. Then some dude calls the house looking for Myammee because she owes him $1,000, and he threatens the women in the house.


-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)