And I said that was my final, but I guess one more, because it just fascinates me on a personal level that you are isolated from everything. Since you’ve gotten out, is there anything that’s happened in the world or in the news that you’ve heard, and has surprised you?
In the real world, I saw some clippings about my crying, and that definitely surprised me. Not that I didn’t cry, but at the same time they counted the minutes and everything that I cried. I’m proud of it, but at the same time I’m upset with it and disappointed, because like I said they didn’t show any other part of me except that I cried a lot. I went out to dinner, I’ve seen people, no one’s really said anything to me, no one’s noticed me or anything. So once I get back home I’m sure it’ll be a lot different, obviously. I’m sure I’m gonna get a lot of people making comments to me, and probably not so much good comments. But it was an experience, and I’m glad I did it. I was me when I went in the game, and I was me when I came out of the game. I learned a lot about a lot of different things, and a lot about myself, so I learned to appreciate things more now, family and life, and everything. Freedom, I learned to appreciate freedom. I have yet to get on the Internet or cbs.com, I haven’t had access to any of that yet, but I will do that. I’m not, like I said, I have to take everything with a grain of salt because I have to know that everyone saw me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and everyone has their own opinion. I know I’m gonna see horrible things, my sister’s told me a lot of things that were said about me. And it sucks, but it is what it is and I just have to deal with it and try to make the best of it.
That’s a very mature outlook, and probably the right and the best one to have coming out of a situation like this.
So thank you very much for talking to us Amber, we really appreciate it.
Can I say something about my comment that I made in the backyard about the Jewish and the people from New York, am I allowed to say something about that?
Yes, if you’d like to clarify about that comment, our readers would be Interested in that.
OK, I just want to tell everybody out there that when I was in the backyard and I was talking to Jameka and I made that comment, it came from a bad place. What I should’ve said, and what I wanted to say and how I meant it was, not selfish. Jews, people from New York, they’re not selfish, they’re just very goal-oriented and they’re very hard workers, and money-motivated. Those are the words I should’ve used, money-motivated and hard working, and goal-oriented, instead of saying selfish and money-hungry, I didn’t mean those in rude ways. I can’t stress to all of you out there how sorry I am I said that. I’m not a horrible person, I’m not prejudiced. I have friends from all walks of life, and I really wish I could individually apologize to every single one of you out there that I offended.
I did not mean that in a rude way, I was upset with Eric, and it came from a bad place. It’s not me to sit around and criticize people, I’m not prejudiced, I love everybody. I think everyone has something special about them, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart. I am so sorry if I offended anybody out there in any way, shape or form. I have nothing against anybody, and I mean, apology is not enough. I’m sorry, I can say it a thousand times, and I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to anybody out there. But I want you to know that I wish I wouldn’t have said it. I’m sorry I did, there’s no excuse for it. All I can do now is justify to you guys and tell everybody out there in the world that I meant no harm by it, I was upset at the time, and I’m so sorry. I can’t say I’m sorry enough and I mean that, and please forgive me. And if not, I understand as well. Any comments you guys have to say about me or anyone has to say about me, it’s fine, and I respect whatever you just have to say to me. Again, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I can’t tell you that enough.
Thank you very much for that, it’s very brave to admit when you’ve made a mistake and admit when you’re wrong. We appreciate your sincerity in wanting to get that off of your chest.
And can I say one more thing, and then I’ll be done?
You absolutely can.
I just want to tell everybody out there that everything I did in the house was me. I went into that house and I was me, I had no strategy. The reason why I was so confident about being me and so proud about the person I am is because I am proud of the person I am. I’ve been through so much in my life. I’m 27-years-old, I had a daughter when I was 19, I’ve been in a off-and-on relationship for four years with a guy that I’m so in love with. My dad left when I was younger, I was on drugs for a year of my life. I did lie about some stuff that was really serious when I was on drugs. I want everyone to know, I spoke about those things because I want to inspire people to see that the grass is greener on the other side. You can change your life. I used to be such a different person a couple of years ago, my life as opposed to now. I’ve changed so much, I’ve done a complete 360 in my life.
I’ve made my life so much better. And I’m sorry if on Big Brother, when I said things and I told things about my life, I told them because I care and because I am proud. I know it seemed like I was talking about myself a lot, but I just want everyone out there to know that I did it because I’m proud of who I am today. I don’t mean that in a bragging way, I don’t mean that to sound like I’m better or I’m this or I’m that, it was nothing like that. It’s just, I wanted everyone to know and see me for who I was. And I’ve just changed so much, and I’m proud of it. As far as everything that I talked about in my life, and the world knows now, it’s really embarrassing. A lot of things are really embarrassing that people know about me now. But I want everyone to know that I spoke upon it, because I was proud of the change I made to become who I am.
And as far as my religion goes with God, I know I prayed inside the house, and then to find out that I did drugs and things that I lied about in my life. That doesn’t coincide with “How could you be to God and how could you do those things and say those things?” The reason why, when I did those things I wasn’t into God, I didn’t pray. I didn’t take the time to take five minutes to make a prayer and ask God for help, and I don’t go to church every Sunday, I go when I can. I work a lot, and when I would say the prayers on Big Brother, it was because I’m thankful for who I am and I really feel it had a lot to do with God. I’ve had so many life-changing experiences in my life, and I’ve learned so much from those experiences that I was just talking about them because I’m proud of them. So I hope I didn’t offend anybody. If I did, again, I’m sorry. And I know a lot of people out there don’t like me, and I just want everyone to know that when I was in the house it was me, and that’s all I knew how to be was me.
Also check out our exclusive interviews with other
Big Brother 8 contestants:
Dick and Daniele Donato
-Interview conducted by John Kubicek
Image courtesy of CBS)