Tonight on Top Model
: It's down to the final three. As their final
challenges before the coveted final two, the girls model in three tried-and-true ANTM
staples: A video challenge, a romantic shoot with a male model (with noted fashion
photographer Nigel Barker) and a beauty shoot with Tyra as both their
stylist and photographer. A little strange that Tyra waited until so
late in the game to spring these requisite shoots on the remaining
girls, and it no doubt makes you wonder, just as I am right now:
NO MOTION EDITORIAL?!?!
Anyway, after Alexandria's elimination, Brittani is relieved the "drama
bitch" is gone, but the relief doesn't last. They're all feeling the
pressure now because, as Brittani puts it: "If you're not first, you're
last." Hannah is still reeling from her dip into the Bottom Two, and
she's trying to pump herself up, but she says that dreaded word about
herself in the process: "commercial." Molly is confident after two wins
in a row, and says she "understands life" better than Hannah and
Brittani, whom she thinks are sheltered and weepy (as opposed to
herself, who is angry and negative).
Mister Jay comes over and excitedly reveals that he has a message for
them "from Hollywood"! Oh my god, WHO SENT IT? SOMEONE FAMOUS? IS IT
FROM HEIDI? OR SCARLETT? PARIS? KIM? Let's seeeeee OMG!!!
... Oh. Well. Um. What do you
want, Lara from The Insider
? (Hey, you guys wanna hear a terrible joke I just made up? Yeah? OK: What's worse than insider trading? Insider
TALKING! ...I told you it was terrible.)
Lara explains that each model has homework: She needs to pick* a
Moroccan fashion trend, research** it, write up questions about the
topic and interview*** a random person off the street about that trend,
all in an hour! "You'll need to fill 90 seconds in what we call a live
*Choose one of three topics pre-chosen for them and conveniently presented in an envelope.
**Go to the address of a shop provided to them by the producers.
***Talk over the person or ask them leading questions to which they can only respond "yes."
Jay says the winner's video will appear on Insider.com, which has an
audience of millions of people! (Millions of people? Wait, REALLY?
Naaaah...) Then he gives his own Journalism Tip: "It's about the three
Ws: Where are we? What are we talking about? And why are we talking
about it?" Weird, those are the exact same questions I ask every time I
wake up from a blackout when someone is telling me a boring story.
"Let's talk about eyeliner, angry lady to lady!"Molly
has black kohl, which is funny because it rhymes with "black
soul," which is funny because that is what this show wants us to think
Molly has. And she brings her signature can-do attitude to the shoot!
"Let's just do it, it's going to be f***ed. ... I'm just hoping Brittani
and Hannah suck." But it's not f***ed! Molly doesn't look all that
friendly, but she sounds like she knows what she's talking about, and
she's the only one who had a demo in her video. She's very professional
and not overly scripted, until the end of her video catches her saying
"...that was horrible" before the camera turns off. Ha!
"Dohohdfnsebids areojunsibok pifadpoinfeenl HENNA?" - What this guy is hearing, and is understandably annoyed about.Brittani
can't find anyone who speaks English to talk about henna with
her, so she grabs a random guy off the street and instructs him to just
say "yes" as she asks important, investigative questions like, "Is henna
an ancient arm form that expresses women's beauty?" She fumbles over
her words a bit in the beginning, and then accidentally runs away from
the camera in the middle. Her yes man isn't exactly an impressed man,
either. It's not pretty.
"Argan oil! What is it? Who is it? Where, and why? But most importantly, when?"
studied journalism in school, so she thinks she's got this one in
the bag! Her topic is "argan oil," and I don't know what that is. I
still don't know what that is, because her introduction was so fast and
jam-packed that I couldn't process it. She asks questions of her
woman-off-the-street and expert, but doesn't give them time to answer,
and then goes over her time limit and gets cut off. THANKS FOR NOTHING,
JOURNALISM SCHOOL! Back to never talking and just looking pretty ("Plan
After watching the videos, Jay says, "That was ... interesting," and
declares Molly the winner. Molly is a humble champion: "Hahaha,
Tyra shows up at their place to "chat."
Tyra's "I'm listening" face.
Now that it's Week 12,
she's finally ready to get to know these girls. How magnanimous! Molly
opens up about her abandonment and anger issues, and how much she loves
her adoptive parents. Hannah says the competition has helped her become
"more herself." Brittani talks about her mother, who is a recovering
agoraphobe, and how much she loves and appreciates her now that she's
been gone so long. Tyra hugs it out with all of them and gives her
overall lesson: "Perfect is boring." (That's why I make sure to make
at least five big mistakes every day!)
Then, just for fun/added stress, Tyra draws on their faces, greases up
their hair and photographs each them outside their house. These photos
have no real bearing or importance in the competition, which, you know,
Hannah wants to remind Brittani and Molly that she's competition, but
when she says "I know I can kick their asses!" she sounds like she might
burst into tears at any moment.
Tyra says the girls need to work on their "isolations" and
"micro-movements," and she teaches them how with a little dance as she
leads up to the roof of their house. And, SURPRISE! There's a
traditional Moroccan band there, and they put on traditional Moroccan
fez hats with traditional graduation cords and do the traditional
It's all very traditional! We watch in slo-mo as Tyra
and the girls twirl and laugh and dance around together. It's very Eat
. (I have not seen Eat Pray Love
Sidenote: Molly's been to rehab? For what? That was really thrown out of left
field, and then went right back to left field as soon as we heard it.
Like a Left Field Boomerang of "HUH?" Moving on...
Photo Shoot: Getting Romantic Right Near DA BEACH!
Check out Mister Jaaaay, haaaay!
Jay Manuel in The Big C. (The "C" stands for CRAMAZING!)
The girls will be styled in Moroccan wedding gowns and posing with a
male model on the beach for Nigel. The male model is hot and the dresses
are beautiful. (Is that the dumbest, most obvious sentence ever written
She wants to use the guy as her "prop" (atta grrrrl) but
Jay tells her not to ignore him. Jay is a little disappointed in her.
"She was giving sexuality to a wall. There was very little chemistry."
Molly almost cries after the shoot but Jay reassures her that there were
She wants to look like she's in love but pulling away,
but she looks too aggressive at times for Nigel, though he likes her
"commitment" to the role. Jay likes their chemistry.
She pitches a similar narrative to Hannah's, but it
looks like "disdain" to Jay, and he wants more connection. He asks her
to dig into a real emotion, and Brittani gets frustrated and starts
crying. "Love the tears!" says Jay. Haha. "She can't cry every time she
gets photographed to truly emote," says Nigel. Yeah, especially when the
emotion Jay asked for is sexiness. Sex and crying don't usually go well
Judging Panel and Elimination:
In her pre-panel handheld footage, Tyra reveals that she is sewn into
her dress, which she got in London. Then she does a terrible British
accent for Nigel and asks if they have zippers in his country. Classic
Tyra! Tonight's guest judge is Ivan Bart of IMG, and he looks exactly
like a guy named "Ivan Bart." (Snooty and square-shaped.)
For panel, Brittani and Molly are doing the "wet, slicked back" Sharon
Stone thing for panel, while Hannah went that "stacked on top of my
head" look that's so hot right now.
Tyra speaks: "I loved all of your film so much, every girl has two
shots." Nigel is so proud! And the girls are happy when they should be
terrfied, because that just means they each have two chances for Andre
Leon Talley to say they stink of dreckitude.
My favorite shot of each girl is below. Check out the slideshow at the bottom of the recap to see all six final shots. And, the critiques:
Brittani's first shot:
Nigel says she seemed like she was doing the
gesture but not backing it up with the emotion. "Remember not to be SO
literal," said the woman who once dressed up as a kangaroo to announce a
Top Model trip to Australia.
Brittani #2Brittani's second shot:
Ivan doesn't think she quite "went there," but
Andre loves her belt and thinks the shot is "beautiful." Tyra: "I've
lived this. I think this picture tells your story." Lesson: If Tyra has
lived it, then (and only then!) it's a good story.
Hannah's first shot:
Andre is all about the belt again, and Tyra
interprets what he means: "You're taking what the stylist put on you,
and you're selling it. Modeling is about selling clothes." OHHHHHH. But
what about naked models, Ty-Ty? Modeling is so confusing
. Nigel says Hannah "lost her model" when
she got into the character so much.
Hannah #2Hannah's second shot:
It feels like a continuation of the story to them,
and they generally like it, though Andre doesn't like her foot, and
Nigel says it's crossed the line over into "gauche." Andre: "GAUCHE!
THAT WORD! EEEEE!" I... I don't even.
Molly's first shot: I
t's beautiful, says Nigel, but as the photographer
he didn't think she connected with the male model. Andre LOVES her foot
in this one. Feet and belts: He's so hot and cold about 'em! Tyra thinks
Molly is great with subtleties, and then puts on an over-the-top
display to show what she means.
Molly's second shot:
The camera (and the photographer) loves her. "I
could dance with you," says Nigel (as the photographer). Molly's giving
great face in this one. The judges are all about Molly in this
shoot -- she's got it in the BAG.
Before she sends them off so the judges can deliberate, Tyra reveals
that the final two will walk in a runway show for Vivienne Westwood!
Molly's face mirrors my own, and it looks like this: 0_0 ("AWESOME!")
In deliberation, the judges talk more about each model's body of work.
Brittani has delivered throughout the season, but Nigel wasn't too
impressed in the beach shoot. Andre was "turned off" by Hannah's
vulnerability in panel, and she's been weak in person throughout the
competition. They're still in love with Molly on the page, but in person
Ivan isn't as enamored of her "energy." Tyra says Molly was "lovely" in
person when she went to visit them at their house this week, and Nigel
says, "You believed that, then?" OH SNAP!
Best Photo Goes to: Molly
! But you knew that! Though she looks shocked:
Bottom Two: Hannah and Brittani
Tyra says the judges deliberated intensely over the two of them, and
have very specific reasons for why they should each be finalists.
"Hannah, you have a face that can sell, sell, sell. Your photos have
shown that the pretty girl next door is an edgy girl when she has the
talent and fire inside of her." And Brittani: "Domestically, started off
so strong in this competition. But we've noticed something since you've
crossed the Atlantic, your photos don't seem to be as strong."Eliminated: Hannah
. But she probably knew that.
Tyra tells Brittani that this is her chance to show "her strength on the
inside." Tyra hugs Hannah goodbye, touches her heart and says, "We want
to feel it HERE." Hannah is in tears as she says she wishes she'd been
more consistent, but she's a bit confused about why Tyra said she wasn't
So: Molly vs. Brittani!
That's our final two, folks! The two girls many
of you -- and almost ALL the eliminated models I've talked to this
season -- said you could see taking home the title. Who do you think
will win? Share your thoughts about tonight's episode and next week's
(Images courtesy of CW)