It feels like a month since America's Next Top Model had a new episode. That's because the last time we saw these fresh, wrinkle-free faces was way back September 22. That was a whole 11 days ago and since then so much has happened in the world of prime time TV that it seems a millennia since we've been on set with the remaining 10 models, celebrity judges Tyra Banks, Kelly Cutrone and Miss J. Alexander, and photo shoot creative consultant Yu Tsai. But we're back tonight with "The Guy Who Wears Heels" and it feels good to catch up.
So "The Guy Who Wears Heels" is the Friday night time slot debut for ANTM. Hopefully most viewers are aware of the shift and can find us all the way over here on the other end of the week so they can and join us next week if they missed us tonight. There was some hefty conflict over patent-leather-heeled blond beauty Will and fake-beard-from-hell Denzel. We'll get into that in a moment, but lets just say right away that Denzel's behavior was highly disappointing.
Denzel Follows in Denzel's Footsteps
This week's challenge is an acting tryout with a three page script in front of CW vice president of talent and casting, Ms. Lori Openden, and several CW network executives. The models are paired-up with opposite sex partners and evaluated, the winner receiving a walk-on part for one of the CW's scripted shows. Wow - as a fan of Arrow, the late sci-fi drama The Tomorrow People, and the upcoming series premiere The Flash, I am loving the prize enough to consider modeling myself.
So, apparently some of the models get to choose who they will perform with, but we don't see any of this on screen except for the mention that Mirjana chooses hot chocolate Keith as her acting partner. This, after the show's intro focused on the romance between Mirjana and Denzel, is a bit of a surprise. Snap! Then again, this is America's Next Top
Dating Model and high drama is to be expected.
Mirjana's defense of her choice? She says she and Keith had great chemistry during their black widow photo shoot in the previous episode. She thinks together they have a chance of winning this week's challenge. Hm. Interesting. This, of course, doesn't sit well with bedfellow Denzel who interprets Mirjana's explanation as a slight. And who wouldn't? Perhaps she just wants to get another mouthful of Keith's beautiful bottom lip. That sounds more like it. As it turns out, the scene between Mirjana and Keith is rather lackluster, but Denzel and his partner Shei do rather well and Denzel gets the walk-on part in an undisclosed scripted CW show. Good for him!
Mirjana Is Green with Envy and then Becomes a Hornet's Nest of Irritation
Oh, and by the way, when Mirjana sees Denzel practicing his kissing scene with Shei (who happens to have the hots for Denzel, by the way) she gets incredibly jealous. Mirjana, it's time to grow up, baby. You can't have all the guys and expect them all to want only you. As Denzel mentions in his photo journal, Mirjana still has that boyfriend back home she's yet to break up with. Maybe she really is a black widow, a collector of male carcasses which she will suck dry and leave one by one as soon as she has someone else wrapped up in her web.
Mirjana is stunned and pissed when Denzel wins the walk-on CW gig. Serves her right. Denzel is smart, however, and can tell that she's working on a slow seethe. He says he's going to keep his excitement to himself because irritating a woman would be like poking a bear ... or a hornet's nest, I'm thinking. Good move, Denzel. But then this happens -->
Will and Denzel Fight Over a Pair of High-Heeled Boots
Denzel wants to see a guy win this cycle of America's Next Top Model. He really does. But he doesn't want to be beaten by a guy in high heel boots, he 'privately' tells Keith. Denzel comes off as a douche when he 'privately' disses Will's femininity, saying a real man should win this title so the stereotype of all male models all being gay is broken. Will, unfortunately overhears this comment and is catapulted back to the days of being ashamed of who he is. The best line of the episode is Will's, and it went something like this: " I will gladly wave at you as I wear my heeled ... my six inch f*cking heals. Thank you ... " And the crowd wells up in pride over Will's quite strength. I hope he does win. Later, Tyra calls Denzel on being a total douche and tells him that 50 years ago someone could have said the same about not wanting him to win because he's black. Only Tyra could say something like that, and it's harsh, but it had to be said. Kudos, Tyra.
The Ice Man Cometh and Freezeth His Ass Off
Franco Lacosta is the photographer behind the shoot today. All the models dress like ice men and women with glaciers attached to their faces as they sit or lie on real glaciers. It looks highly uncomfortable and there is a real risk of hypothermia. After the shoot, Mirjana and Raelia get into a shouting match and Mirjana flips Raelia the bird. Classy.
Lenox gets first call out for her stunning photo as queen of the ice. Kelly Cutrone says she could have been in Narnia. Admittedly, Lenox's pose and bustier look is phenomenal, but I still don't see the obsession with this little girl. The judges seem to overreact to everything Lenox does. First she gets a 10, then a one, and now a 10 again? Maybe they know something they aren't airing on television. Me, I'm baffled by it. She's certainly not unattractive, I just don't get what all the fuss is about.
Adam is the next to be called and it's good to see he's improving to the point where he's starting to get kudos for his modeling. Yu continues to comment on how willing to work at improving at everything, and he has gone up in my estimation ever since the Romeo debacle, but he still needs to stop trying to bite the camera. Good for you, Adam.
Will is third, and before she calls his name she says, "The third name I will call out is someone in heels. You just know Will is already living out his promise to laugh all the way to the bank, a path he will walk in stilettos if he so chooses. More power to you, Will. Before calling out the fourth name, Trya refers to the next call-out as someone not in heels, and of course, it ends up being Denzel.
Shei's photo shoot is unremarkable. She has a small mouth and has to position herself so that her cheek bones are prominent.
Kari is a dope ass model, says Tyra, but she's in heavy need of a compass and just does not know what to do with her own magic. How does Tyra expect a person to draw upon their own magic when they've been saddled with ice blond tresses and bushy blond eyebrows that completely wash out her natural beauty? Please, Tyra, be more mindful of the make-overs in the future. It seems such a waste to see such a beautiful girl completely washed out.
Raelia is amazing when she's in motion. She has a fantastic body and she knows how to twerk it, but the judges worry that she doesn't photograph consistently well. This week Tyra gives her a low score of four because she looks like she's either peeing on the ice chair or humping it. Tyra's words are bleeped out so we don't really know what she said, but whatever it was it was unflattering to say the least. So, have they already forgotten last week's shot of her in the bejeweled and ruby bustier looking exactly like Tyra's baby sister? By the way, consistently excellent photos has also been a challenge for Lenox, but she got first call-out this week - so, hm. Personally, I prefer Raelia over Lenox any day.
Kari Goes Home
The final two left standing are Kari and Raelia. Once the challenge, judges and social media scores are tallied, Raelia beats Kari by a mere six tenths of a point. That's gotta hurt. However, keep in mind that Kari can still participate in all the photo shoots and have her photos voted on by social media, so we may see her beautiful face again.
Kari was a sweetheart despite the horrendous make-over. She says she's most upset about leaving because she's come to really love the other models. She teases Keith about who he'll cuddle with next now that she's gone. I guess we'll have to tune in next week to find out, folks.
Next week Mirjana and Denzel split up and the DNA results are in to inform each competitor about their pedigrees.
America's Next Top Model airs in their new time slot on Fridays at 9pm on The CW.
(Image courtesy of The CW)