'America's Got Talent' Recap: The Hot and Cold Auditions of Tampa
'America's Got Talent' Recap: The Hot and Cold Auditions of Tampa
We get it, America's Got Talent, you have Howard Stern. Now let's see some talent! Nick Cannon is riding on a swamp boat, so we must be in Florida. How do we have the budget for this? Maybe they collect a dollar from everyone who shows up to audition, that would be good money.

The first audition of the night is an "urban glee club," called Inspire the Fire. They would be right for The Sing-Off, except they also dance! It was relatively underwhelming for me, in that neither the singing nor dancing was particularly exciting. But their message is positive, so we'll see them again in Las Vegas. Howard's style seems to be to say, "normally I hate [the type of act you're doing], but I loved this!"

Up next is The Bikini Bombshells, an act that Howard is sure to like. They joke about sending them to Vegas immediately, but the girls have to dance first. Oh, and the dancing is absolutely terrible. Howard laughs as he pushes his buzzer. This dancing is best left to basements and YouTube.

Next, there was a weird mask/circus abstract art piece, "the real Edward Scissor Hands" put some scissors on his fingers and moved them around in someone's hair, and some more X's lit up the stage. A guy danced around on stage and when Sharon suggested a partner, Howie ran up on stage to give everyone a SHOW. I have a lot of complaints about American Idol, but at least Randy doesn't leap up on stage and try to sing with the contestants.

ANOTHER clogging group? They're going to have to create a sub-category in Vegas. This one is a bunch of tough-ish looking guys called "All That!" For cloggers, they are very good. Very together and polished. But it is still clogging, and this is the type of act that Piers would have loved. They're through!

The Hula Hoop Artist had something pretty awesome to show, followed by an illusionist who put his assistant in several boxes. I really liked the all-male contemporary group "Boss," who will join the glut of dance groups to audition this season in Las Vegas.

The next act, an escape artist, has escaped a hanging from the back of a horse. He has challenged anyone in the world to tie him up with ropes for him to escape. Howard acts annoyed, because judges only go on stage to make fun of the acts. "TIE THE HANDS UP, HOWARD!" Sharon screams in her best impression of Amy Poehler's impression of her. Michael convulsed, fell down in the chair, and received three X's. It's a no.

The Distinguished Men of Brass lost their jobs at an amusement park, so they're here to entertain. Their enthusiasm is pretty infectious, and I hope we get to see them beyond Las Vegas.

Haha, this guy Ulysses was sleeping! He looks hilarious, and is wearing his "good luck sweater." I love him. His song choice was a bit dated (The Love Boat?), but he's hard not to adore. Howard X'd him because "it is not a million dollar act. It's fun, but we're looking for the next big thing." But he was too likable to say no to!

Did you see a million dollar act in this episode? I'm not convinced I did.

(images courtesy of NBC)


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