The war between vampires and witches has begun on True Blood, and while the werewolves may want to stay out of it, they’re the only ones. After last week’s big spell to force all vampires into the sun (which only succeeded in killing one, Maxine’s neighbor), now it’s time for the vampires to plan their retaliation.

Or rather, “peace” accord. Yes, King Bill calls Marntonia to begin peace talks at a cemetery, only neither side is actually interested in peace. At nightfall, the epic showdown begins with all of the major players showing up: Marntonia, Tara, Bill, Pam, Eric and Sookie.

The outcome, however, isn’t so good for Team Vampire. Bill forbids Pam from killing Tara (which Pam hilariously calls “so f***ing lame!”). Bill is then silvered and captured by the witches. Sookie gets shot by a stray bullet, but luckily Alcide is there to save her (which saddens Debbie, who forbade him from seeing Sookie again). And Eric comes face-to-face with Marntonia and is forced to kneel before her like a slave.

So now Sookie is shot, Bill and Eric are captured and Pam isn’t allowed to have any fun. Score another victory for the witches.

Here’s what else went down in Bon Temps this week on True Blood.

Eric and Sookie’s Sexual Escapades: For the second week in a row, a large chunk of the episode is devoted to Eric and Sookie’s Skinemax-style lovemaking, only this time they take a shower and it turns into snow, leading them to a magical outside bed in a winter wonderland that resembles Narnia. I don’t know what kind of wacky hallucinogens come from fairy blood, but sign me up.

Jessica’s Dilemma: After being saved from the light by Jason, she kisses him and quickly realizes she needs to dump Hoyt. First she dreams of a scenario where she kills him because he’s so whiny and pathetic, then she goes outside for some hot car sex with Jason. That sounds like a good plan, but in reality, Hoyt uninvites her from his home and, when she tries to seek comfort with Jason, he somehow resists his overpowering sexual urges and uninvites her from his home too. Poor Jessica went from having two men pine for her to having none in a matter of seconds.

Sam’s Boring B-Plot: Sam and Luna’s romance continues and now we meet her ex-husband, who is, of course, Marcus, Alcide’s new packmaster. On the bright side, the show has found a way to cram two dull storylines (Sam’s and Alcide’s) into a single, super-boring one.

Tommy’s New Plan: After getting kicked out, Tommy shifts into Maxine to get the money from the gas usage rights for her land. Other than giving the actress who plays Maxine a chance to curse a lot, it’s not really that interesting.

Lafayette’s Possession: In Psycho Baby news, Lafayette learns all about the history of Mavis, the mysterious black lady ghost haunting Arlene’s baby. She had an affair with a married white man in the 1920s and got pregnant, but he killed the baby. Mavis wanted to give her baby a doll (the same nasty one Arlene’s baby now plays with), so instead Mavis possesses Lafayette and kidnaps the baby. I’m starting to think that the baby didn’t really die and that maybe Mavis is Rene’s great-grandmother.

Whatever the case may be with Psycho Baby, Packmaster Marcus and the rest of the unrelated storylines, it’s the witch drama that’s powering season 4, and hopefully the vampires can get a big win soon, because they’re getting their butts kicked.

(Image courtesy of HBO)

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.