Even for die-hard Real Housewives fans, three reunion shows can prove to be a little trying. So let’s just try and take this nice and easy and one part at a time. Here are the top 10 moments from part one of the season 4 reunion.
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10. Joyce’s Husband’s “PeePee”
Lord knows that there has been enough talk about Joyce’s husband’s manhood throughout this season (and it’s apparently “big and beautiful”). But to hear Carlton and Joyce go back and forth calling it a “PeePee” just makes things even more amusing on a whole new level.
9. “He Smiled”
When Andy asks Carlton what her husband said about her and Brandi’s kiss, Carlton looks unphased and just answers, “He smiled.”
8. Brandi Glanvile, P.I.
I’m not sure if you know this, but Brandi Glanville has some crack detective skills. She tells Andy that she paid $9.99 for some jank website that told her that Lisa used to live in the Valley and has declared bankruptcy. Of course, Lisa denies everything, but Brandi is thoroughly convinced that this random website counts as receipts to call Lisa out as a liar and, worse, broke.
Andy reads one fan’s concern that Kim’s pit bull, Kingsley, seems nice and sweet, but he’s worried that he’ll one day be the end of Kim. She laughs it off, but Kyle seems to agree, saying that she often gets worried if Kim doesn’t answer her phone that Kingsley might have eaten her. But seriously, that dog is, like, twice Kim’s size. It seems like a legitimate concern to me.
6. Brandi “Apologizes”
Remember earlier in the season when Brandi made a racist comment about Joyce not wanting to swim because she’s a “black person”? Yeah, well, Joyce (or black people) is not the victim in that scenario; Brandi is. She says that her house was egged and her children were threatened after that incident all because someone threw around the careless label “racist.” Not because she said a racist thing or anything. So she’s sorry that she’s been mislabeled so. That seems like the closest thing to an apology we’re going to get.
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5. Kim Shuts Down Lisa
Look, on most nights, Kim is no match for Lisa. But she came ready to defend her choices, especially when it comes to her sobriety. When Lisa is being judgmental about Kim praying in front of a trash bin, Kim asks her why is it more strange for her to be praying than it is for her to be falling down drunk? Then she completely shuts her down, telling her that if she needs God, she sure as hell is going to call on him when she needs him in times of her struggle. Get it, Kim.
4. Child’s Play
Joyce calls Yolanda out for being a bad host when she divided the ladies into “teams” because Yolanda called her out for being a bad host in Palm Springs. Yolanda says of course that’s how she functions because that’s “how children act.” Zing!
3. Sochi’s Calling
Brandi has some nasty things to say about Joyce “settling for her husband,” so Joyce defends herself by saying that she was a successful woman, unlike Brandi, before she even got married. Brandi accuses her of acting, and Joyce says that Brandi is acting too, “trying to act like a lady.” Brandi’s response is to tell her that she looks like an ice skater in her sparkly dress and that “Sochi’s calling!” I’m not sure how or even if this is an insult (Joyce is gorgeous, and so are a lot of ice skaters), but it’s a good line, nonetheless.
2. Lisa Apologizes
Lisa must have known that she was going to be on the hot seat tonight after the rough season she had. But she came ready to offer her apologies to both Kyle and Yolanda. She tells Kyle that’s she’s sorry about the flippant comment she made about if anyone wanted to be her friend, they would just have to put their house on the market. She says she regretted it almost immediately after saying it.
Then Lisa apologizes to Yolanda, who felt like Lisa wasn’t supportive of her and the time she spent recovering from Lyme disease. She says that she honestly made as much time for her as she could with everything she has going on and she never meant for Yolanda to feel neglected.
1. The Year of Kim Richards
If anything positive happened in this season of petty drama, it’s that Kim Richards managed to get a whole year of sobriety under her belt. She’s happy and having fun and finally feels like she can be herself in front of the cameras. Her relationship with her sister has improved as well, and she even credits the show for helping her by holding her accountable for her actions.
We made it through part one! That wasn’t so hard, was it? Here’s a sneak peek at next’s week second installment:
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Mondays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image and videos courtesy of Bravo)