On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, this indoorsy group finds themselves out of their element on a cave exploring expedition. Kenya drags a few of the unlucky ladies to a fertility ritual. Kandi and Todd get some unsolicited advice about their love life. And Apollo finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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There’s No Confrontation on Vacation
Kenya and her best girlfriend Lawrence rehash the events of the welcome dinner. Porsha’s marriage is still front and center. Kenya took away from Porsha comments what I think we all did, which is that Porsha was Kordell’s beard. Kenya says Kordell wanted a trophy wife, gay or not that seemed to be the case, and poor Porsha turned out to be an honorable mention, if that.
Originally, Kenya’s intention for this trip was to make nice for “Pillow Gate.” Now she says she brought all the girls to Mexico to get them to open up so they can all get to know each other better. She’s tired of the lies. This is rich coming from the woman with a boyfriend conveniently located in Africa who we’ve never seen or heard on camera. Maybe that’s why she’s got so much time to obsess over Apollo. Kenya isn’t happy with Apollo’s stance that she came on to him hot and heavy, and he turned her down. She’s so unhappy that she plans to confront him about it while they’re on this trip.
After Porsha and Kordell’s relationship was put under the spotlight the first night, the following day it’s Kandi and Todd’s turn. Kandi actually brings it upon herself when she says she and Todd had a wedding date in mind, but due to Momma drama, things are at an impasse.
Peter, who all of a sudden is all up in everybody’s business, tells Kandi that she’s going to keep prolonging the situation, and Todd is going to get frustrated with her. Previous episodes have revealed that they’ve already reached that point. Kandi just magically hopes that they’ll get married, and Momma Joyce will resign herself to the situation. Kenya and Cynthia (definitely speaking from experience) try to explain that marriage isn’t the quicker picker upper.
Todd is emboldened by all the support because he tells Kandi this wishy washy attitude of hers isn’t going to cut it. Kandi talks about not being able to make her mother go to counseling, but Todd basically tells her it’s time to “grab her nuts” and make it happen. Believe me, Momma Joyce is worried about the gravy train no longer stopping at her station. Dangle the threat of cutting her off financially, and that old lady will jump through hoops of fire.
Snakes in a Cave
This group is taken out of their comfort zone when they embark on an excursion to some local caves. Faced with monkeys, mosquitoes, bats and a very large boa constrictor, there’s a lot of squealing, and not just from the ladies. As Todd says, “This is some bulls**t.” There’s a natural spring that gives Kenya the perfect opportunity to strip down. Phaedra’s not about to let Apollo get in the water without her, so she ventures in so she can keep an eye on her man.
Want Baby, Will Travel
The next adventure is more personal to Kenya, so only Cynthia, NeNe, Lawrence and Kandi are invited. They pay a visit to a shaman who specializes in fertility. Kenya loves when it’s all about her, and she even tries to throw some genuine tears in for good measure. Kandi figures she might as well get in on the action since she had good luck with the fortune teller in South Africa. He did predict she would meet her man there, and she did.
Cynthia, on the other hand, wants to make sure she doesn’t accidentally get swept up in the ritual; one child is enough for her. NeNe is still being a team player despite 1) not being a Kenya fan, 2) being allergic to all of the smoke involved and 3) she’s got her two kids. Got to give her credit for keeping any and all commentary in check. Kenya is convinced that this little ceremony will help her get pregnant with her first child.
Afterwards, the group gathers to listen to Kenya drone on and on about her quest for fulfillment. One thing is glaringly obvious and that is the woman’s incessant use of the word “I.” I want, I need, I feel. That kind of self absorption doesn’t scream maternal. Kandi is buying into the vulnerable, open Kenya. She believes that if Kenya behaved this way more often, she’s be more embraced by the group. I think if she behaved this way more often, I’d have a hard time keeping down my dinner.
There are a few genuine moments. Kandi admits that she feels guilty that her daughter hasn’t had a father figure, and Cynthia also recognizes the importance of having a male influence in her child’s life. Otherwise, it is a little too Kumbaya-ish for my taste. You know this mellow “bonding time” will be out the window soon enough.
Two’s Company, Three’s a Catfight
The boys bond over a different type of smoke, the kind that comes from cigars. In strolls Kenya and Lawrence. They both decide to partake, and Kenya turns the party up a notch with a round of tequila shots. Apollo, allowed to run off leash for a while, lets his guard down and is able to cut loose a bit.
Kenya tries to get Apollo alone, but his boys are looking out for him. Probably knowing full well he can’t be trusted to do it himself. Kenya is frustrated that she’s got to deal with two very diligent chaperones (Peter and Todd). Apollo tells Todd it’s all good, and he wanders back to their table still within eyesight of the twosome.
Kenya confronts Apollo just as she planned. She swears that he threw her to the wolves to save his own a** with Phaedra. It’s really difficult to get much from their conversation because neither one will let the other complete a sentence.
There’s also a degree of non-linear thinking further muddying the situation. Kenya thinks Apollo did her dirty once she and Phaedra fell out. She wanted to stay friends, and he took that as something more. Apollo stands behind his assertion that if he wanted to, he could have hit that. He uses the fact that he didn’t to appease Phaedra about his texting her nemesis at all.
Kenya forgets her veiled accusations about Apollo during the season 5 reunion. It’s all a case of tit for tat. Apollo would like to let it go, but Kenya is like a dog with a bone. She’s looking for an apology that she’s never going to get. As long as she and Phaedra are on the outs, Apollo walks to the beat of his wife’s drum.
Phaedra and Kandi show up, and Peter is practically giddy at the anticipation of watching the s**t hit the fan. You can tell from the look on Apollo’s face that he’s got a lot of explaining to do. Too bad we have to wait until next week to find out how many more creative ways Phaedra can find to call Kenya a whore.
A pretty slow episode, but next week looks to more than make up for it. Adios until then.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)