The real queen (not the mermaid queen) of The Real Housewives of New York City, Ramona Singer, is finally back. Have you missed her in these last two episodes? Maybe not, but she’s certainly making her presence known now that she’s back in NYC.
Heather is having an event to benefit her pediatric liver transplant charity. It’s a cause near to her heart since her son Jax had a liver transplant when he was 6. She had a friend design the jewelry and a portion of the proceeds go to the charity.
Ramona comes straight from the airport, and she looks fantastic with toned-down eye makeup. Heather tells her Aviva wasn’t invited because of how ugly things got with her in the Hamptons while Ramona was away. Ramona admits that Aviva needs to learn that it’s okay to get angry as long as you don’t get vicious, which makes a whole lot of sense, especially coming from Ramona. But she thinks Heather is alienating Aviva, like she alienated her last season, by not inviting her to her charity event and doing her 10th anniversary party next week.
Aviva, Sonja and Ramona are shopping for some furniture for Avery’s dorm room. Aviva says that Heather came at her, unprovoked, in the Hamptons and “verbally raped” her. Aviva might want to find some new phrasing for her so-called attack; that one’s a bit offensive.
On the other side of town, Kristen is doing a photo shoot for Heather’s Yummie Tummie line. Since Ramona has come back from Africa with a new attitude, she wants to be a peace-maker so she calls Heather to try and get her to meet with Aviva. She’s reluctant at first, but she eventually agrees. And Aviva agrees too, even though she says she’s afraid of Heather. Carole doesn’t think there’s any way this is going to end well.
Carole and Kristen meet Heather’s husband, Jonathan, for some caviar tasting. Caviar is Heather’s favorite so he’s planning to surprise her with some at their anniversary party. Kristen wishes her husband would do something this sweet for her, but he’s too busy shaming her in public for not giving him enough blow**** and ditching her at marathons to do something that nice.
Jonathan tells the ladies that Heather made an off-the-cuff remark in year one of their marriage about having a threesome for their 10-year anniversary, but she claims she never said that now. The three discuss the specifics of a threesome as their host awkwardly stands next to them, waiting to tell them about expensive fish eggs, which is actually quite hilarious. Jonathan tells Carole that Aviva is not invited to their anniversary party, and he would think it was weird if she even wanted to come because there’s just too much bad blood right now.
Heather and Aviva meet for drinks which starts off as a disaster, though they do their best to stand by the ground rules that Aviva sets for no yelling and no cursing. Aviva again uses her hideous “verbally raped” phrase to describe to Heather how she felt in the Hamptons. Heather says she doesn’t like the way Aviva talks to people, like when she said Sonja was on an “Anna Nicole Smith downward spiral.” Aviva actually tries to claim that that was a compliment because Anna Nicole Smith died an icon. Ha!
After going in circles about the same things, Heather asks Aviva if she cares about her at all. Aviva says yes, so Heather says then they have to sit there and work it out. She says she didn’t like how she treated Carole, although she knows Carole can defend herself. Aviva asks, “Why are you so close with Carole? Are you two lovers or something?” That retort tells Heather that not only is Aviva immature, but she’s insanely jealous of her friendship with Carole.
In the end, Aviva just tells Heather that she doesn’t think she can be impartial when it comes to Carole, and that’s one thing they can actually agree on. Heather agrees to stay out of it, and to just move forward as civil as possible from now on. The two toast, and Heather even invites Aviva to her anniversary party.
Bravo has really been hyping #HousewivesCollide for the past week, and I have to say, there’s not much to it. The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars Yolanda Foster and Brandi Glanville meet with their old friends Carole and Kristen, respectively, and all that happens is Brandi tells a story about how Kristen fell in love with an Elvis impersonator at her Vegas bachelorette party and Kristen’s lack of a sex life.
The most interesting thing that happens is Carole talks about how she banged George Clooney, but it was so long ago it might as well have been during the Eisenhower presidency. And that’s the end of the Housewives colliding. Bravo can call me back when Brandi collides with Kenya Moore from The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Now that would be a collision I’d like to see.
Ramona and Sonja meet at Aviva’s before Heather’s party. Aviva tells them that things went very well with with the previous night but then she got a text from Heather telling her that she wasn’t actually invited to her party after all. While the text was polite enough, it was still pretty rude of her to un-invite Aviva, especially after they made up.
Both Sonja and Ramona are turned off by Heather’s rudeness. In a stand of solidarity, they say they’re not going to the party now that Aviva’s not going, even though they both said they would.
Heather looks gorgeous in white on her roof-top anniversary party. She thinks she made the right decision only inviting close friends and not Aviva because it would only cause drama if she were there.
Kristen and Josh have an argument on the way to the party because Kristen was mad that Josh is always late. She wishes they had better communication because that always seems to be the problem when they fight. At the party, she tells Carole that she doesn’t know if she’ll stay married for 10 years. She says they’ve tried counseling, but Josh isn’t a big fan of it to the point where Kristen lied about going to her own therapist for years. Carole says that bickering is good for some relationships, but dishonesty between spouses is never good.
LuAnn got a text from Ramona on her way to the party to tell her she wasn’t coming. She’s not happy to have to be the one to tell Heather that Ramona and Sonja aren’t coming. Heather is upset that they both RSVP’d that they were coming and then didn’t because she could have invited other people who were more important to her if she had known they weren’t coming. Kristen agrees that it’s very bad etiquette, and if Heather had done that to Ramona or Sonja, they would have flown off the rails.
Heather regrets ever trusting Ramona because she never really liked her anyway (even though Heather was all too happy to be giving her hugs and kisses at her charity event earlier). She says they didn’t play by Ramona’s rules so she gave them the “Singer Stinger.” But she manages to salvage the evening with a lovely toast to her husband of 10 years. She’s thrilled about her caviar present, which she digs into later in the party when she’s not too busy dancing. She says in her confessional that there are so many great people in her life that she has to stop worrying about the people who aren’t.
So we’ve gone from Book Gate to an all-out war and the lines are now clearly drawn in the sand. There’s Aviva, Ramona and Sonja on one side and Carole, Heather and Kristen on the other. And The Countess boppin’ around somewhere in between.
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)