Half of the ladies failed to use their spa experience last week to relax, so let’s see if they can get along long enough to enjoy a trip to the Berkshires during this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City.
Kristen sets up a meeting between Sonja and her husband, Josh, so he can give her some business advice. Because Josh is an “entrepreneur” and apparently an expert in this field. She leaves to pick up the kids. Real nice leaving your husband alone with your crazy friend, Kristen.
Sonja starts to tell Josh all about her clothing line, her yellow and white diamonds, her Nigerian football team, her perfume and, of course, her toaster oven. He tells her that her first step should be to hire an advertising agent to help her develop a brand. Sonja claims to already have that, and she starts listing her ideas again. Josh tells her to drop all of that and find a way to focus her team. She just doesn’t get it and so Josh tells her to her face that she’s “f***ing bananas.” Sonja just kind of shrugs as if to agree with him.
Heather and her husband host a dinner at a steakhouse for Kristen and Josh, Ramona and Mario (and Ramona’s gay husband, Shane) and LuAnn and Jacques. She invites the ladies for a weekend in the Berkshires. They accept, even though Ramona thinks she’s way too sophisticated for the Berkshires because no famous or rich people go there. Aviva, unfortunately, will be unable to attend. Although Heather denies planning it on a weekend when Aviva couldn’t make it, I’m not sure if she’s telling the truth.
Josh and Kristen do a little smack-talking about Ramona. Josh says that she’s delusional, and Sonja Morgan products aren’t available for purchase anywhere. Heather agrees, recalling her experience with Sonja and her toaster oven. Ramona is not happy listening to everyone talk about her BFF. She says in her confessional that Kristen should put a muzzle on her man, but I think everyone would be better off it it were Ramona wearing the muzzle.
Make Me a Match
Since her NY apartment is getting a makeover, Carole spends some time in Beverly Hills. Where she apparently has a house. And a dog named Margaret. Who knew that Carole had a double life? Some of her friends stop by to commiserate with her about her love life. She talks about being in a dating slump and being dumped by a guy before they even started dating.
Carole brings Kristen along with her to meet Richard the matchmaker. (At least she’s not getting Bravo’d into using garbage person Patti Stanger.) He tells her she needs to expand her pool of available men and consider dating someone other than a “starving artist.” Kristen thinks she should date more businessmen, because Kristen’s businessman husband is such a winner? Anyway, Richard says he’ll set Carole up on a blind date and they can meet for drinks and then decide if it should turn into dinner.
LuAnna, Ramona and Sonja meet for a session of anti-gravity yoga. At first, Sonja is not happy to see Ramona, but once things get started they’re up to their usual antics. Ramona is already complaining about the dreaded Berkshires trip because it’s not going to be a luxurious trip, and she’s all about luxury. She also says she doesn’t like it there because it reminds her of where she grew up in upstate New York and she didn’t have a very pleasant childhood.
LuAnn is chauffeuring Ramona and Sonja to Heather’s place in the Berkshires. They’re already complaining about nearly everything. Ramona is so upset that Heather’s house doesn’t have air conditioning that she calls to have one delivered when they arrive. She and Sonja are also probably the worst backseat drivers who have ever lived. They’re stressing me out and I’m not even the one driving.
Kristen tells Carole on their way to Heather’s that she thinks Ramona hates her and is out to get her. Carole says to just brush it off, that it’s just Ramona being Ramona.
Heather’s home is a pretty country house on a lot of land. Heather’s worried about pleasing Ramona because she’s one “picky ass b*tch.” Ramona complains right when they get there about how there’s no one to help her carry her luggage into the house. She asks Heather if the only house within eyesight is her house or the garage. Of course Heather is offended, but she brushes her off.
Things only get worse after they move inside. Ramona whines about the heat and how her vertigo is acting up. But not long after a delivery man arrives with the floor unit AC, Sonja flirts with the delivery man as they set it up, because of course she does.
Heather suggests they go down to the lake for a dip. Ramona is offended when they get to the lake and they have to carry their own canoes down to the water. LuAnn is irritated with her behavior and says if she didn’t want to come, she shouldn’t have accepted the invitation.
LuAnn, Heather and Kristen are in one boat and poor Carole is stuck with Ramona and Sonja in the other. Once they’re out on the water, Ramona starts to feel relaxed so she starts hushing all of the other women for talking too much and ruining the tranquility. They get the wine and the fishing poles out, and Carole manages to enjoy herself a bit and catch a little fish.
Kristen and Heather jump into the water and Ramona immediately starts talking bad about Kristen, like the lake water is a special shield that her voice doesn’t penetrate. She says that Josh was talking a lot about Sonja at dinner and Kristen didn’t defend her. She says all Kristen does is stand there and look pretty, but she doesn’t have anything real to contribute to the group because she mostly just forgets she’s there.
Kristen swims up to the boat and hears Ramona talking and playfully splashes the rest of the girls in the boat. Ramona is enraged, telling her “two for two” and she’s just a “f***ing b*tch.” If that isn’t bad enough, she hurls her wine in Kristen’s face again, and then throws the whole glass at her and splits her lip! Even that’s not enough. She tries to throw the oar at her too and tells Kristen to get out of her face.
Carole tells her that she needs to apologize, and when Ramona fails to realize that she’s not the victim in this scenario, Carole tells them they’re both crazy and dives off the boat to join the saner women. Ramona and Sonja paddle off and drive away, presumably back to Heather’s with a message to Kristen: don’t mess with Ramona.
Next week, it’s the Berkshires part two. Will anyone call Ramona out for her bad behavior?
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)