The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season finale! The tuna tar-tar! The big Sur opening would have been a nice ending to things, but this way we get a wedding, and we can re-visit the meeting of the Housewives that happened at the beginning of the season, just weeks after Russell’s suicide. Now we’ve seen the season; now we have more information. Will it be weird to watch this extravagant Kevin Li wedding juxtaposed against the news of Russell’s death? We will see!

Before we can see all that, though, Paul has to get a colonoscopy. Then we have to hear him fart. More like colon open-parentheses! ūüôĀ

In preparation for the Pandora Vanderpump wedding, tents need to be swagged, wine needs to be labeled, and flowers need to be arranged. It’s all a big, expensive mess. Is someone going to land in that giant, $9,500 cake to comedic effect? Will it be Dana in her $25,000 sunglasses? WHERE ARE YOU, DANA?

In disasters elsewhere, Mauricio didn’t know it was black tie! He can’t wear navy blue! Unforgiveable! Kyle will wear hot pink, though. Camille knows better than to wear pink. She is dating some new hot piece named Dimitri! She still believes in love!

Pandora hasn’t even gotten into her wedding dress and I’m maxed out on exclamation points. Love this wedding, though. It is beautiful and over-the-top.

Okay, record scratch. WTF was up with those identically-dressed triplet makeup artists? That was the hokiest piece of crap television that I would expect Lisa Vanderpump to be above. They restored my faith in the Vanderpump name with Giggy’s bedazzled tux, though.

Before we go all bonkers about Lisa’s tiara, we have to know that it was Pandora’s idea. Pandoras terrible idea. And those diamonds on Lisa’s dress! So amazing.

The Housewives (minus Kim, Brandi, etc. it looks like) met at Adrienne’s for a world record-worthy assemblage of fabric. Pandora and her wedding were both lovely and stunning. The lighting made everyone look fantastic. And the event was beautifully shot. OMG LA TOYA JACKSON WAS THERE!! WERK, LA TOYA!

Do we love anyone more than Ken Vanderpump and his glasses and his little speech? OK, maybe Mauricio. Did you tear up ever? I did a couple times, but then that wedding band with their royalty-free music cleared that right up.

The wedding is over, and Glen (yay!) is helping Kyle with some casual party, post Armstrong-suicide. I’m sure that’s not the reason for the party, it’s just to get everyone together and for Adrienne to bring some of her shoes, I guess. But Taylor showed up! Even Taylor dragged her ass to that party and Kim couldn’t?

They looked at Lisa’s wedding photos, Taylor’s glowing skin, and Camille’s sexy, hunky boyfriend. Why did they choose such terrible frames for all these women to have their follow-up caption next to? Lisa and Ken moved, and Adrienne still has her boring ass shoe line. Kim is NOT pregnant, just really sick. We all know she went to rehab, and didn’t make it to the reunion, which makes me so upset. Oh, and Kyle wrote her “advice book.” Bleh!

What was your favorite part of this wild second season? Wasn’t last week a much better episode to end on? What questions do you hope Andy asks at the reunion?

(images courtesy of Bravo)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like¬†Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include¬†30 Rock,¬†The Amazing Race,¬†Project Runway,¬†Modern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSI,¬†The Bachelor,¬†Toddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include:¬†Arrested Development,¬†Veronica Mars¬†and¬†Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about¬†Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).