Fantasy suites, exotic all-expense paid getaways and ridiculously good-looking men aside, being The Bachelorette isn’t always “rosy.” Sure, Kaitlyn Bristowe was served a platter full of potential Prince Charmings while the rest of us have to hunt them down one-by-one at Whole Foods, stalking them, while subtly looking for that gold band that screams “deal-breaker.”
But strip away the fairy tale, and Kaitlyn’s no different than any other woman hoping to escape a future filled with cats. Here’s why we can all relate to the country’s most famous single girl.
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1. She Likes Bad Boys
The fact that Kaitlyn let Jared, Ben H. and Ben Z. go in favor of keeping Nick and Shawn B. shows she likes a guy who brings some drama. No doubt Kaitlyn is flattered that the final two have been fighting over her like two lions over a juicy gazelle carcass. All that testosterone and pheromones are like Spanish Fly.
Nick has been known to blab about his sexual exploits, and given how much action he’s seen on camera, I imagine his pre-Bachelorette interludes could exceed double digits.
Shawn B. is moody, jealous, a hot head, just enough of a creeper to be flattering but not frightening, and has no problem stripping down and exposing his twig and berries.
We girls are guilty of going for the troublemakers. They are just a tad more interesting than those sweet, grounded guys, who actually have their shit together. It’s the ones who cause our hormones to go into overdrive, and who drive fast and take chances that make our hearts go pitter patter. Bad boys may not be the wisest choice, but they can be the most fun.
2. She’s Endured Her Share of Bad Dates
The average single woman doesn’t go on group dates, but even though the cringe-worthy activities Kaitlyn has had to giggle her way through: a fake wake, sumo wrestling, boxing matches and Broadway auditions were over the top, single women everywhere have been in the position of trying to fake it until they make it in an attempt to make a date a success.
No woman should be obligated to listen to a man sing unless he’s in a band, and sometimes, not even then. Kaitlyn has had to witness her “boyfriends” rapping, performing show tunes and dabbling in Mariachi. None of it was pretty. I won’t even go to a karaoke bar for fear of being so mortified by a date’s vocal stylings that I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again.
When you’re single and trying to mingle, sitting through a horrible action movie, wielding a paintball gun, clumsily clutching a fishing rod, trying to choke down sushi when raw fish makes your stomach turn or feigning interest in sporting events are all par for the course.
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3. She Makes Booty Calls
That special someone(s) is on your mind. Maybe you’ve had a few cocktails, and you get the liquid courage to drop in “just to talk.” Sometimes this is a good idea, but most of the time, it’s not. Kaitlyn learned paying late-night visits to a suitor or two can cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings the morning after. The problem with this kind of spontaneity, especially early in a relationship, is that we all say and do things in the heat of the moment that we wouldn’t if we squashed our baser instinct, popped a Benadryl and went to bed instead.
I assume she hit the minibar in her San Antonio hotel room before deciding to spend some off-camera time with Ben H. and Shawn B. in their respective rooms. Kaitlyn told Shawn B. he was “the one,” causing the guy to believe filming may as well have wrapped by the next day. Ben H. was left a little perplexed by Kaitlyn’s wishy-washiness as well. Her intentions may have been good, but Kaitlyn’s execution was poor. Been there, done that, girl.
4. She Slept with a Guy on the First Date
You know you’ve done it, just admit it. With women waiting longer to tie the knot, if at all, we’re racking up the pre-marital sex partners-no judgment. And not all of us can adhere to the outdated three-date rule.
Kaitlyn is certainly not the first bachelorette to engage in coitus with one of her suitors, but Kaitlyn broke the mold by being unable to keep it in her pants, so to speak, pretty early in the process and by being so vocal about her rendezvous afterward. Kaitlyn made it clear that intimacy is an important part of any long-term relationship, and she had no regrets exploring her physical connections with the men.
5. She’s Dealt With Bad Break Ups
In a perfect world, whenever a romantic relationship didn’t work out, we’d part friends and stay friends. But this isn’t a perfect world, and most of us would prefer our exes close all their social media accounts and move to a country ending in “stan.”
Kaitlyn had to endure a nasty character assassination when Princeton grad and future Bachelor wannabe, Ian, felt he’d been snubbed by his “former” dream girl one time too many.
When Kaitlyn decided Kupah wasn’t a good match, the guy flew off the handle, went on a tirade directed at some hapless cameramen (and possibly a producer) and stated Kaitlyn had treated him like he had gonorrhea.
Clint chose not to go gently into that good night, but his real beef was with his true love interest, JJ. And after getting the boot, seemingly laid back country boy, Joe, stomped off saying he was done.
Kaitlyn’s been called uninteresting, unattractive, shallow, easy and unlikable. If you’ve escaped a scathing text, or email or ugly confrontation, consider yourself the exception because every woman I know has had her ass handed to her at least once whether she was the dumper or the dump-ee.
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6. She Unknowingly Dated at Least One Gay Guy
We’ve all done it. There was that boyfriend in high school, who you find out at your 10-year-reunion is sharing a house with his life partner, Steve, and their Yorkie. Or, maybe you got an invite to his wedding. Then there’s the man you spent months with and started to get suspicious when all he wanted to do was cuddle.
Clint may have smooched Kaitlyn during their one-on-one date, but viewers learned his lips may have belonged to Kaitlyn, but his heart belonged to JJ. I admire the fact that Clint outed himself on national TV, it’s just too bad he was hell bent on screwing over Kaitlyn in order to court JJ. If Clint wasn’t such a jerk, I’d nominate him to be the first gay Bachelor. C’mon ABC, it’s time.
7. She’s Had to Have the “It’s Not You, It’s Me” Conversation
Getting dumped definitely sucks, but breaking up with a nice guy can be just as brutal. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there, you’re on different pages when it comes to the future of the relationship, or maybe he’s just got chronic halitosis or an addiction to porn.
Not many women have this excruciating conversation multiple times over the span of a few weeks, but we’ve all had to do it at one time or another, otherwise every romance would lead to wedding bells. I’ve never had a guy burst into tears when I handed him his walking papers, but then again, I didn’t fly off in a helicopter after dropping the bomb.
8. She’s Been the Rebound Girl
Most guys have a dream girl, the unattainable picture of female perfection. Maybe it’s his high-school sweetheart, his first love, Megan Fox or his mother. For Kaitlyn, it was the sugary sweet, doe-eyed, hygienically-challenged, Britt. Just in case you forgot, JJ and Jared were initially Team Britt.
What do you think, do you relate to Kaitlyn?
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC.
(Image Courtesy of ABC)