So, how are we all feeling about Ben after last night’s episode? Titillated? Twitterpated? Frustrated? Nauseated?
Only the latter two, right? Yeah, me too.
I gotta tell ya, ladies and lady-lovers, I’m finding it increasingly hard to believe that the Bachelor producers even want Ben to look good. I can’t believe that they watched Ben go through this whole “journey,” and then chopped up that journey into the little bits and pieces that we see, and thought, “YEP! This guy’s gonna look GREAT this season! A solid, sympathetic, sensitive man whom any woman would be lucky to marry.” I don’t buy it. Because last night there wasn’t a single moment we saw when he wasn’t being a TOTAL GOON. (You want examples? Here they are!) I mean, that’s what he is. No amount of editing can hide it. But I’d like to give Ben (or anyone) the benefit of the doubt that, in an entire week in Panama, he must have had at least a couple good moments, but they just weren’t shown on TV. Does that mean that ABC has known this whole time that they wanted Ben to come across not as Courtney’s victim, but as her co-villain? Is THAT why they’ve done nothing to fix his hair? It all adds up!
Yes, week 6 is typically when my mind starts unraveling into elaborate Bachelor conspiracy theories. But it’s also when the Diaries of the Departed start getting REAL JUICY! So while you mull over whether Ben is really as bad as he seems, and whether ABC actually likes it that way, let’s take a look at this week’s bonus videos:
“Highlight” of the Week: Casey’s Quasi Confession. OK! See what I mean? ABC has deemed this scene a “highlight.” It is a scene in which a confused woman came to Ben looking for (at best) a sympathetic ear and (at worst) a graceful exit, and he gave her neither. Instead, he was insensitive and cold — and looked extremely bored. Granted, Casey’s weepy marriage talk would probably cause anyone to mentally check out … ANYONE WHO’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE DATING HER!
Diaries of the Departed: One Shocked, One Sad, One Doesn’t Really Give a Sh*t. Blakeley looks so genuinely shocked and crestfallen that I actually feel bad for her. I wonder what she’s going to do with that scrapbook. And poor naive Jamie still thinks the world of Ben, even though he let her straddle and mack on him and then immediately didn’t give her a rose. And Casey looks like she got over her tears quickly. Probably because she never cared about Ben to begin with and he really didn’t give her a reason to try.
Deleted Scene: Lindzi Has a Confession. Aw, I like Lindzi. I wish she wasn’t sharing her secrets with a guy who keeps calling her “creepy” and then never says that he’s just kidding.
The Bachelor Uncensored: The Prisoners are Starting to Lose It. Kacie and Blakeley show off their pillow fort and gymnastic skills in the Panama bachelorette holding cell.
Week 7 Preview: Can You Belize It? Next week, Ben has to decide which women will accompany him to their hometowns, and Nicki and Kacie will warn him not to trust Courtney. Who will he believe? And how many “Belize” puns will he make? We’ll find out Monday…
Don’t tell me you want Courtney to get eliminated next week. The week after, sure. But don’t TELL ME you don’t want to meet this woman’s parents.
(Image courtesy of ABC)