I’m not one to just come out and declare an opinion (HA, yes I am), but after five weeks, I feel as comfortable and confident saying this as Courtney the Model feels saying anything:

I’ve seen a whole lotta Bachelors in my day. And Ben is the worst Bachelor. Definitively, the WORST.

All the fancy dates and exotic locations in the world can’t hide how detached and disinterested he is in everything and everyone (besides Courtney). He says the right things sometimes, but with zero passion, creativity or conviction. He’s a man on autopilot, and the only reason these women (besides Courtney) are interested in him is because they’ve been conditioned to. It’s extremely easy for them to project what they want to see onto Ben, because he’s a mostly empty vessel. If ABC could make a robot Bachelor, he’d be a lot like Ben. But with better hair.

At first, Ben’s blandness just pointed to what might be a very boring Bachelor season. He was just having fun, which was dull, but not destructive. But combined with Courtney’s insidious competitiveness, and his own insipid “not my problem” attitude about everything, it’s turned this season toxic. Sure, Courtney’s a real piece of work. But it’s Ben’s combination apathy/immaturity that have made it so easy for her to do anything she wants. Like make Ben give her a rose. Or make Ben go skinny dipping with her. And, eventually, make Ben propose to her. Probably. Hopefully. Because that’s really the only fitting ending, the way I see it. A not-happy ending.

I know this show is a neverending cycle of artifice and lies (and that’s what makes it FUN!) but it still burns me all up inside when I see the star of the show taking it even less seriously than we do. He’s supposed to at least PRETEND that it’s a love story and that he cares about the girls’ feelings and that he’s a halfway decent guy who would have too much kindness and respect to get naked with one girl while he’s dating nine others. Ugh. Anyway. Here are this week’s extra Bachelor videos:

Deleted Scene: Courtney Has a Talk. Courtney’s complete lack of tact and self-awareness really get their chances to shine when she decides to call out certain unnamed parties for “talking bad about her to the guy that she likes.” Did you know that other women don’t like her because of the way she looks? NOT because she’s a self-absorbed, aggressive, unsympathetic fearmonger? Well, Courtney’s been dealing with that her whole life. It’s really hard to be so beautiful, you guys. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes!

The Bachelor Uncensored: The Airport. Are those seriously Ben’s real glasses? Oh, no. They’re just a disguise. But they’re still really bad! And pointless. And wait … a disguise? Ben thinks he’s such a big superstar that he needs a disguise? And his disguise is a pair of clear glasses that still fully indicate what his face looks like? Poor Ben. Poor, stupid Ben. Before the glasses, it must have been so difficult for him to get around international airports without being completely swamped by hoards of women wanting to kiss and date and marry him. Because he’s so suave and charming and mature, as you can see.

Diaries of the Departed: Puerto Rico Does It Sadder. Elyse makes a good point that Ben probably shouldn’t have dangled the rose right in front of her face before he broke up with her. Just like he ALSO shouldn’t have made her climb into a rejection dinghy in an evening gown. Or skinny dipped with Courtney and hid it from the other girls. You know what? Ben shouldn’t do a lot of things. And Jennifer is mostly hurting not because of her strong connection with Ben, but because he kept so many wrong choices over her. You’re better off, Jennifer. You’re ALL better off, future “Diaries of the Departed” criers!

Week 6/The Rest of the Season Preview: Panama City, and Plenty of Drama to Come. Why is Casey crying? What is Courtney’s problem? Will Ben escape her evil clutches?

Do you think the other women will finally get through to Ben, or has their skinny dipping bonded Ben and Courtney forrrrevvvverrrrr?

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.