Another season of The Amazing Race, another casting gimmick. Fortunately, season 28’s casting off all internet “stars” is a lot less distracting that you’d think. Mostly because while I’m on the Internet a fair amount, I have no idea who 90% of these people are, so really it’s just a regular The Amazing Race season. So that means challenges, international locations and of course, the occasional really annoying and easy-to-mock teams.
Let’s run down the teams of people you probably definitely don’t know already:
- Tyler & Corey: If you know any of these “social influencers” it’s probably Tyler. He is more of the more successful YouTubers. Corey is his friend and podcast co-host.
- Erin & Joslyn: These two friends run an entertainment news show on YouTube.
- Darius & Cameron: These two brothers got Internet famous for their humorous Vines. You’ve probably seen a variation on this NSFW one.
- Zach & Rachel: These are newlyweds, Zach is a Vine magician and Rachel is his wife.
- Dana & Matt: These are a couple of engaged dancers who host dance tutorials on YouTube.
- Marty & Hagan: The most obscure team of any of these “famous” people. Marty is the focus of a flight attendant viral video.
- Kurt & Brodie: These are Pro Frisbee players who have documented their stunts on YouTube. They are also under the misconception that a lot of “hot chicks” are interested in Pro Frisbee.
- Jessica & Brittany: These friends are Instagram models, which is apparently a profession now.
- Burnie & Ashley: These are two (dating) members of the popular YouTube gaming channel Rooster Teeth.
- Scott & Blair: This is a father and daughter duo, Blair does make up tutorial on YouTube. Her real claim to fame should be how she escaped Oz and Munchkinland. (Her voice is really, really high).
- Sheri & Cole: Cole is a vine star whose claim to fame seems to be his muscles, Sheri is his mom.
Off to Mexico City In Tears
Okay, now that’s all done, the teams get contacted by Phil in a totally organic and not-at-all staged moment. They have to go from their home to the first clue in Mexico City. Everyone gets ready and starts rushing to the airport, except for Sheri & Cole who are just openly weeping having to leave their family. Sheri, Cole and I are not off to great start. The Amazing Race is a few weeks long, chill.
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Anyway, the teams land in Mexico City and get the clue for their first Detour. They have to choose between Mariachi Madness and Great Bulls of Fire. In Mariachi Madness, the teams must go to a mariachi band performance and find the one member of the band who is not playing. In Great Bulls of Fire, the teams must assemble a fireworks display thing. It’s very crafty and intricate. The biggest hurdle seems to be literally all the teams’ surprise that no one in Mexico City speaks English. Ughhhhhhhh. Why is it every year that this is a shock?!
An Imbalanced Set of Detours
In any case, the teams that choose Mariachi Madness mostly finish first because that task is way easier. The Amazing Race, probably sensing the large discrepancy in difficulty for the Detour, set up a staggered time start for the next part of the leg. It is the Roadblock. When the teams arrive at the Roadblock they must choose a time for the next morning. There are three groups of time each separated by 10 minutes.
Sheri and Cole cry the whole way to the Roadblock thinking they are in the last group. In actuality, they are a part of the first group. A change of countries has not calmed these two down at all. My patience has not grown either.
Idiot Jones and the Temple of Duh
At the Roadblock, one member of each pair volunteers to compete in the task. They must descend into a cave and dig in a little site to find 13 puzzle pieces. Once they have found the pieces, they must assemble a mask. The trick to all this is that the pieces must be the same color and there are duplicates in the mix.
Jessica and Scott end up creating a challenge of their own. The teams are supposed to “follow the drums” to make it the site to assemble their mask. Though there were no drums when the teams enter the cave, Jessica and Scott are convinced that the drums are above ground. So once they get their pieces, they go back out of the cave entrance and wander around aimlessly. Scott even drops some of his mask pieces on ground like a very confused and middle aged Hansel.
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The Exact Opposite of a Photo Finish
Once the Roadblock is over, the teams must make their way to the Pit Stop. Tyler & Corey and Dana & Matt are the first two teams to finish. There is a foot race to first place and you’ll be shocked to learn that the professional dancers, Dana & Matt, come in first.
From here, things develop in a pretty boring fashion with the other teams finishing and arriving to the Pit Stop. Erin & Joslyn, Cole & Sheri and MENSA level genius, Scott (& Blair), are left at the Roadblock. Erin tries to convince Sheri to take the four hour penalty with her because she wants to give up. As soon as Erin says this, Shari finishes her mask, so that plan goes right out the window.
It’s now just Sheri and Scott fighting for last. It will come to the shock of no one though that Scott comes in dead last. Scott & Blair, however, are not eliminated from the race. The Amazing Race begins with an non-elimination leg. Yay? I think?
The Amazing Race airs Fridays at 8pm on CBS.
(Image courtesy of CBS)