Now this is more like it, The Amazing Race season 28! After some so-so to good episodes, the race finally appears to be on and things are actually happening. There are some things that are unavoidably unlikable about this season. For example, The Amazing Race is still trying to pretend #Blodie is a thing and that literally anyone but Blair and Brodie care about it the remotest bit.
Otherwise though, Leg 7 was easily the best leg of this season’s race yet. The competition finally got serious and dissuaded my (somewhat) irrational fear that the season would end with the first and second place teams holding hands across the finish line because everyone loves each other and it is all okay.
Train to Georgia
The teams get on a midnight train to Georgia (we get it The Amazing Race, you’re clever) and begin the next leg. On board the train, most of the teams go to sleep. Brodie and Blair, however, continue to try to convince us that they are real couple or have a relationship in which we should invest. Neither effort is successful.
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Once the teams arrive in Georgia (and if you’re not aware, this is the country, not the state in the U.S.) they must ride a gondola and receive the location of the Detour. During the Detour, the teams must choose between “Clean” and “Candy.” In “Candy,” the teams must put a needle and thread through 20 hazelnuts, form five strands and then dip their nuts in this disgusting sugary goo. In “Clean,” the teams must go inside a giant wine barrel and well… clean it.
Clean or Candy
The catch in both “Candy” and “Clean” is that there are only four stations open at a time. Everyone rushes for “Candy,” because I guess it sounds more appealing than cleaning. So that means that Scott and Blair and Dana and Matt are forced to wait to do the task because they are the last two teams to arrive. Scott and Blair decide stay and wait for one of the other earlier teams to finish. Dana and Matt though, switch to “Clean.” Dana spends the entire time on the way to “Clean” changing between crying and being rude to their taxi driver. Matt is just happy that her fury is not currently being directed towards him.
The real challenge at “Candy” though has really nothing to do with the actual candy making. It’s more just having to suffer through Brodie’s long bellows as he pokes himself with the needle. Even Tyler is getting tired of it and I don’t think Tyler has ever known another human being louder than himself. Brodie spends a bit too much time yelling and not enough making candy. Brodie and Kurt fail their first attempt to make the necessary strands. The same thing happens to Tyler and Korey. In this moment of opportunity, Zach and Rachel take first place with Burnie and Ashley not far behind.
Sheri and Cole are saved from the toxicity of Brodie’s yelling though, as they are the first team to take “Clean.” For awhile, they are all alone. It’s a long while too, they seem to spend an interminable amount of time cleaning. They are cleaning as slow as humanly possible but at least I don’t want to strangle them. Sheri and Cole take such a long time cleaning that when Tyler and Korey switch to “Clean” (alongside Dana and Matt) they are still working.
So You Think You Can Dance?
From the Detour, the teams head to the Roadblock which involves the dreaded dance routine challenge that happens nearly every season. This is where all the previous leads are rendered (mostly) null and (mostly) void and the teams must survive on their rhythm and skill alone. Luckily for some teams, they are entering the challenge with some previous dance expertise.
As you can imagine, this includes the dancers, Dana and Matt, but Ashley also has some history and Kurt, of all people, has taken salsa lessons for years. I’m not exactly surprised Kurt knows salsa. Maybe I’m just not expecting any culture for a man who routinely calls his male friend, “baby” and/or “boy.” Or, It could just be as simple as his choosing to spend time with Brodie, so he clearly has no taste.
Eventually, the only teams left at the Roadblock are Tyler and Korey and Scott and Blair. For whatever reason, Blair has her klutzy father, who seems at least 20 years older than his actual age, do the Roadblock. Scott though, looks like Usain Bolt compared to Korey in his first few shots at the dance. Korey is SLOW. It is a series of misadventures and missteps between the two of them. Their combined attempts number in double digits. It eventually it stops being amusing and starts to be deeply embarrassing. No human should look this foolish for anyone’s entertainment.
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Eventually, both men finish the dance within in seconds of each other and that’s when the biggest mistake occurs. Scott takes Tyler’s bag as he is leaving with Blair, even though it looks NOTHING like his own bag. When Scott realizes his mistake, he is forced to go back and give Tyler his bag. (Meanwhile, Tyler is screeching about his lost bag in a tone similar to, “Don’t you know who I am?!”) Nevertheless, Scott’s mistake gives the two guys a chance to catch up to them and jump in a cab.
This means that it is a footrace to the Pit Stop. The purest form of The Amazing Race. Inside their cab, Scott assures Blair that he can beat Korey and Tyler in a 100 yard dash. That is adorable, Scott and terribly mistaken. It’s close, but not really. Scott and Blair come in last and are eliminated from The Amazing Race. Thus ends the most nauseating couple hashtag of all time #Blodie.
The Amazing Race season 28 airs Fridays at 8pm on CBS.
(Image courtesy of CBS)