Every year there are one or two episodes of Supernatural that are pure filler. They don’t really move the season-long story arc forward, nor are they particularly funny or full of cool guest stars. Instead, they’re almost instantly forgettable.
That’s how I would describe “Man’s Best Friend with Benefits” in which Dean and Sam meet up with a witch cop who is having sex with his familiar, a sexy lady who turns into a dog. The fact that Dean doesn’t make any jokes about this (he doesn’t even ask if they do it doggie style) just makes it seem like even the writers weren’t trying their hardest on this one.
Sam and Dean head to St. Louis to help an old cop buddy named James. Once there an adorable dog scratches at the motel room door and Sam lets her in. The only problem is that the dog can turn into a sexy lady, Portia. She’s James’ familiar.
You see, James is now a Man-Witch, using the supernatural to help solve crimes (Witch Cop, coming next season to the CW!). A familiar is an animal who can turn into a person and who has a telepathic link to a witch.
Portia is worried because James is having nightmares where he kills people. On top of that, she’s in love with him and they’re totally having sex, which is creepy on multiple levels. First, she refers to him as “master” and she always wears her dog collar, even when in human form. Second, she shackles him to his bed to make sure he doesn’t kill anyone, then proceeds to have sex with him in some weird S&M fetish sort of way. Oh yeah, and it seems masters and familiars boinking is a no-no in the witch community.
James is being set up by another witch named Spencer who is jealous that Portia chose James over him. This leads to a witch showdown where Portia the dog saves the day just long enough to let the Winchesters cast a witch-killing spell.
The only slightly noteworthy moment is when Spencer takes a look inside Sam and Dean’s minds, which gives us a glimpse of all the bad times they’ve had like Sam getting locked in the cage, Dean getting dragged to Hell and their mother being killed. All of that pain makes Dean realize that he needs to trust Sam, so he’s now OK with Sam doing the three trials to close the Gates of Hell.
The only real problem is that the episode ends with Sam coughing up a little bit of blood. So clearly this isn’t going to end well at all, not that there was ever the slightest chance that it would.
Next week on Supernatural: It’s all about the Gods like Prometheus, Artemis and Zeus! I know it’s from Norse and not Greek, but I hope they find a way to bring Thor’s Hammer back, because that thing was awesome.
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(Image courtesy of the CW)