In the season 1 finale of Secrets and Wives, “Burning Down the House,” Liza readies to move out of her home, Cori gets some validation from Sandy, the ladies attend a party, and Amy and Arthur hit a snag.

Now that Liza’s youngest daughter is getting ready to leave for college, Liza, as part of her divorce agreement, has to sell her house. But before she moves out, Liza is throwing a party that conveniently coincides with the finale episode. Liza’s gay besties, Pat and Glenn, are helping her organize the soiree.

Secrets and Wives Recap: Cori and Liza Confront Susan About Jonathan’s Behavior >>>

Max Gets the Axe

Jonathan is regretting his decision to help out Amy and hire her son, Max. Jonathan pulls Max into his office to talk about Max’s lack of commitment to his job, and Max admits that maybe selling solar panels is not his forte. Max even admits he might be “slow.”

Susan chocks up Max’s attitude to the “North Shore bubble.” There’s an inherent sense of entitlement that many of the kids have.

So Max quits, which irritates the crap out of Jonathan, who has been itching to fire the kid for weeks.

Max goes home and tells his mom that Jonathan threw him out. Max leaves out a few key details of the conversation, so he’s able to get mommy’s sympathy. He even goes so far as to tell Amy that he left depressed after his meeting with his ex-boss.

Amy is dreading Arthur finding out the news because, according to Amy, Arthur thinks Amy goes too easy on her son. Ya think? Susan, who is always full of insight, thinks Arthur is jealous of all the attention Amy gives her son. Every time Max gets a bit more needy, Amy and Arthur’s relationship goes south. 

Office Space

Gail is back torturing her husband’s staff. She’s brought them blazers so they look more professional, which actually means she’s just trying to get them to cover their humongous boobs. Your husband is a plastic surgeon, Gail. He sees tits every damn day. Is she going to brainstorm ways for Dr. G to operate blindfolded?

Gail is still harping on having her own office in Dr. G’s new state-of-the-art facility, and it appears he’s not going to budge. After realizing that there was probably a good chance he would A) never hear the end of it, and B) possibly never get laid again, Dr. G folds. He surprises his bride with her own office.

On top of that, he pops the cork on a bottle of champs and tells her he has a romantic evening planned for just the two of them in her new office. Hey, whatever floats your boat. Gail is elated, although what she plans to actually do in this office remains a mystery.

Sandy Hearts Cori

Over at Truth + Beauty, Cori and Sandy are dealing with the harsh reality of their business not thriving as they hoped it would. I’d think their vast sales of anal relaxers would have them flush with cash. I’ve never seen a show where the entire cast is obsessed with the human rectum.

Sandy, who dropped the ball big time at his and Cori’s anniversary party by failing to make a toast, does tell his wife how proud he is of her. When it comes to their spa, she’s performed beyond his expectations. Cori’s anger dissolves because she realizes it’s the little things that count.

Liza Looks Forward to Her Future

Liza’s in an emotionally vulnerable place. She’s got her babies off to college, and her gal pal and roommate Andi, a three-time loser in love, is getting ready to move in with her potential fourth husband, who looks a lot like Jeff Goldblum.

Liza sits down with daughter Carly and proceeds to try and rebrand herself on national TV. Liza says she’s always taken the fall for the demise of her marriage, and though she’d rather step on her tongue than bad mouth the father of her children, he was a neglectful workaholic. And when daddy doesn’t want to give mommy regular tune-ups, mommy has no choice but to go find another mechanic. Wink, wink.

But right now, Liza is okay being alone. She’s spent her entire life as somebody’s wife or girlfriend, and now in her mid-40s, she’s figuring out who she is and what she wants. Carly is anxious to leave her mom alone, but Liza reassures her daughter that she’ll be fine. Liza is a buxom blonde who doesn’t have to work and has the luxury of scouting million-dollar properties in NYC. I think she’ll be fine.

Arthur Acts Out

Liza may be on the cusp of being “homeless,” but she’s determined to make the best of it. All her nearest and dearest are coming to eat free food, drink free booze and lend their support. Even Arthur show up. This makes two events in a row, but he’s not a happy camper. Finally, after seven episodes of hearing about what a tool this guy is, we get to witness it firsthand. Arthur is curt and cold and prefers to sit in the corner and text than mingle.

Arthur even misses Liza’s big moment. The guests are ushered into a room for dessert, which is a table filled with goodies, including a half-naked Liza.

Amy goes in search of Arthur, who is refusing to acknowledge her texts. She finds him outside on the phone, and when she voices her displeasure at his behavior, he abruptly dismisses her. Under the watchful eyes of all Amy’s friends, Arthur announces the party is gross (he doesn’t want to be there), kisses Amy on the cheek and leaves. Yeah, that guy is an asshole. Could this be the final straw for Amy? Do we care?

All’s Well That Ends

And now we bid a final adieu to the poor-man’s Real Housewives, the ladies of the North Shore. We hardly knew ye, thank god.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

Jennifer Lind-Westbrook

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV

Jennifer has worked as a freelance writer in the entertainment field since 2012. In addition to currently writing feature articles for Screen Rant, Jennifer has contributed content ranging from recaps to listicles to reviews for BuddyTV, PopMatters, TVRage, TVOvermind, and Tell-Tale TV. Links to some of Jennifer’s reviews can be found on Rotten Tomatoes.