In this episode of Scream Queens, “Chanel Pour Homme-icide,” Chanel #1 decides to recruit new members to increase her chances of surviving the Green Meanie, Zayday teams up with #3 to find out the identity of the mother and child from that fateful Halloween night in 1985 and Nurse Hoffel blackmails Dean Munsch.
When we last left the deeply inept staff of the C.U.R.E. Institute, Dean Munsch threw a Halloween party, hoping to draw the killer out. Hester was wandering the hospital dressed as Ivana Trump trying to kill the Chanels, while the Green Meanie killed Special Agent Denise Hemphill after stabbing Chanel #5 in the back.
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Dead But Not Dead
Chanel #1 hears #5’s screams, and she, along with Zayday, Chanel #3 and Dean Munsch discover Denise’s body. Luckily for #5, it looks like she’ll survive, no thanks to her friends, who can’t be bothered to muster up enough concern to get her a gurney or any medical assistance. Dean Munsch’s first thought is that they need to dispose of Denise’s body in the swamp. Munsch is determined to not let yet another murder interfere with the hospital’s mission statement — to cure the incurable, which now includes herself. Zayday is against the plan of hiding Denise’s body, convinced the FBI will come looking for her, but Munsch has already concocted a story about how Denise disappeared to work for some shadow organization.
Their argument about how to deal with Denise’s murder is interrupted by the sounds of men screaming, and they all take off, leaving #3 exactly where they found her. Someone killed all of the patients who had flooded the emergency room after being poisoned by the Green Meanie. Was it Hester, the masked monster or somebody else? One thing is certain: Munsch can’t cover up this many deaths, so she has to call the police. But first, she enlists Zayday to help her with Denise’s body. Munsch confides in Zayday that Denise isn’t actually dead; she has a faint heartbeat but was basically brain-dead.
Dean Munsch decides to use Denise as part of an experiment. Munsch had a secret cryogenic chamber built with a small portion of Chad Radwell’s money. She wants to put Denise inside to prove it works before she uses it herself, just in case her condition proves fatal before they can find a cure. Zayday isn’t big on the idea, but Munsch points out it’s either the chamber or they can hook Denise up to a bunch of machines and watch her slowly deteriorate.
The police arrive, and Dean Munsch is convinced that her dream is dead. But one week later, a miracle occurs. There’s no such thing as bad press, and the hospital has received tons of free publicity, and medical anomalies from all across the world start coming out of the woodwork. The possibility of having their horrible medical fates reversed overshadows any fears of getting murdered.
One patient in particular, Penelope Hotchkiss (Mary Birdsong) captures Dean Munsch’s attention. An interpreter for the United Nations, Hotchkiss shifts in and out of accents without even knowing it. She tells the doctors that she did suffer a fall a few weeks earlier but was diagnosed with a concussion and released.
Chanel #1 — who is no longer blue thanks to a special solution concocted by Dr. Brock — and Chanel #5 have been demoted to cleaning bedpans and other disgusting tasks under the direct supervision of nurse Hoffel. Chanel #1 is distraught. Women in her family have been genetically perfected to do one thing — order people around. She decides she and #3 need to recruit some new minions/pledges. Since the hospital is full of new patients, it has become woefully understaffed. So #1 decides it will be their job to hire new employees and train them to be Chanels. If she’s learned anything from surviving a serial killer, it’s how important it is to have less attractive, less important people around to die first.
Where the Hell is Mrs. Bill?
Zayday is concerned that Chamberlain may be the baby from 1985, and she goes to Dean Munsch to find out more about him. Surprisingly, Dean Munsch never hired Chamberlain to be a candy striper. She thought she was Dr. Brock’s assistant.
Zayday decides to try and track down the mother. She enlists #5 to help her. Chanel #5 is still recovering from the machete in her back, and while her injuries are severe enough that she should be in the hospital, #1 brought her back to their dorm so she would have her nearby to insult.
Back on Top
Finding Chanels proves to be a more difficult task than #1 anticipated. Her announcement on social media has yielded zero results, so she and #3 recruit a few patients instead. They also decide to track down a super fan, Tristan. While the Chanels were appealing their murder conviction, they learned that someone was writing handwritten novels where all the Chanels were lesbians, and all they did was have sex with each other. After their acquittal, Tristan began to text Chanel #1 constantly.
Chanel #1 gathers her new minions together: #7, #8 and Chanel Pour Homme (for men). Chanel #3 is threatened by the additions, particularly Tristan, who is both gay and male. She’s concerned he’ll steal all their makeup and by the fact that he looks like a serial killer. Chanel #1 argues that gays don’t kill; they are a peaceful, musical people.
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The Crappy Accent Virus
Dr. Brock discovers what is ailing Penelope Hotchkiss. The woman has Foreign Accent Syndrome. It’s a very rare condition and usually associated with a stroke or traumatic brain injury. All of a sudden, Dr. Brock, #3 and Dr. Cassidy Cascade begin developing accents as well. Dr. Brock wonders if the condition has mutated and somehow gone viral. Chanel #3 thinks this may have been what happened to Madonna and suggests they call her. Had this episode been shot later, that reference would have been changed to Lindsay Lohan without a doubt.
The Baby in the Belly
Zayday finally catches a break in her investigation. A woman named Jane Hollis filled out a missing person report for her husband, Bill, on November 2, 1985, exactly 48 hours after his body was thrown into the swamp.
Chanel #1 is on duty late at night and is reunited with Hester. Now that Denise is frozen, there’s nobody to put her back in her cage. She knows the Chanels are recruiting new members and wants in. Since Hester has the mind of a serial killer, #1 figures that Hester can help them prevent getting killed. The other Chanels object, but #1 thinks the trade-off of finding out who the Green Meanie is is worth the risk of possibly being slaughtered in their sleep.
Zayday and #5 go to visit Jane Hollis, who hasn’t seen her son in years. The two were never very close. Jane Hollis believes her husband died that Halloween and that Dr. Mike and Nurse Thomas faked the paperwork releasing him from the hospital and tossed his body in the swamp.
After discovering that Jane Hollis is white, Zayday assumes Chamberlain can’t be her son. But when #5 spots a photo of Jane with a man she assumes to be an NBA player, Jane informs them that the man was her husband. This lends credence to Zayday’s theory that the faux candy striper could be the baby in the belly after all.
Zayday confronts Chamberlain about pretending to work at the hospital. He insists he did it because he really likes helping people. He’s disappointed that Zayday would question his motives.
Horrible Accent Jokes and a Hoffel Showdown
Dr. Brock determines that Penelope’s brain is swollen, causing issues with the part of the brain that controls language. All she needs is a shot of steroids and she’ll return to normal. However, he fears that himself, #3 and Dr. Cascade will be plagued with horrible, inconsistent accents for the rest of their lives.
After reading a paper written by an evolutionary biologist. It would seem they’re all afflicted with “Madonna Syndrome.” It’s what happens to people when they are around a foreign accent. They pick it up so they don’t stand out. It’s a sort of camouflage for the cultural outsider. All they need to do is lock themselves in a room and watch television shows and movies that feature straight-down-the-line American accents.
Dean Munsch decides to fire Nurse Hoffel. She doesn’t like the way the nurse treats the staff, and she also happens to be addicted to Pethidine (a pain killer). Nurse Hoffel admits that the drug is the best friend she’s ever had, and while she may think about it morning, noon and night, she’s not addicted. After calling Munsch a “creaky old whore,” Hoffel announces she won’t be going anywhere, unless Munsch wants everyone to find out about the terminal illness she picked up eating human brains. Hoffel warns Dean Munsch not to cross her.
More Chanels, More Problems
To celebrate their new members, the Chanels decide to throw a slumber party at the hospital. Of course, they’re just using this as an excuse to use their new pledges to lure the killer. They send #8 on a scavenger hunt to find an expensive gift, but Tristan is determined to get his hands on it first. The Chanels have a genuine affection for their Pour Homme, so they scurry off to get him before the killer does. They locate Tristan in the morgue and discover that he’s been disemboweled.
Dean Munsch is actually okay with the Chanels’ plans to use their new members as human shields, although she can’t officially say so. She’s even taken it upon herself to add some additional Chanels: Addison (#9), Andrea (#10) and Midge (#11). Each has a singular quirk or skill, none of which should prove useful in tracking down the Green Meanie.
But it’s not all good news for the Chanels. Hester has gone missing, and she suspects that the girls may know something about it.
The new Chanels encounter the Green Meanie, and #11 is the killer’s next casualty.
And it turns out the baby in the belly is one Dr. Cassidy Cascade.
Did you suspect that Dr. Cascade was the mystery baby? Does this mean he’s the Green Meanie? Will Hester take another stab at the Chanels? Let us know what you think in the comments section below.
Scream Queens season 2 airs Mondays at 9/8c on FOX. Want more news? Like our Scream Queens Facbeook page.
(Image courtesy of FOX)