In this episode of Scream Queens, “Pumpkin Patch,” Chanel has a falling-out with one of her minions, Grace is determined to find Zayday, the race for the Kappa presidency takes an ugly turn and the Red Devil strikes again.
You can’t keep a good Kappa down, which is why Chanel is determined to make her “Black Hairy Tongue Pumpkin Patch Maze” the event of the year. Chanel is wound even tighter than usual, convinced that her presidency and future with Chad is on the line. She’s taking out her frustrations on Chanel #5 in particular.
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Halloween and the Kappas
Dean Munsch, Weston and Gigi gather together the Kappas and the Dickie Dollar Scholars, having determined that one of the members of these two houses is most likely next on the Red Devils’ kill list.
Grace is exasperated that nobody is looking for Zayday, but Chanel is convinced Zayday’s disappearance is just a ploy to get sympathy vote for the upcoming presidential election.
Munsch has decided to impose a curfew, meaning no Halloween festivities. This piece of news motivates Chad to launch into a lengthy monologue about how Halloween is the one night of the year when girls, even homely ones, can dress slutty and hot guys can parade around with their shirts off. He invokes John F. Kennedy’s “Profiles in Courage” as the basis for his argument that now is not a time for fear, that there is nothing to fear but fear itself — and serial killers, of course. Not only does his plea fail to change Munsch’s mind, but she questions how Chad was ever accepted into the university.
By the way, armless guy Caulfied is back. Caulfield may be missing a few appendages, but Chad points out that the guy is still eager to rage.
Chanel finds a way around Munsch canceling Halloween by starting her pumpkin patch festivities at 12:01am on November 1.
Dissension Among the Chanels
After being berated for failing to reunite Led Zeppelin (the legendary band broke up after the death of John Bonham) and refusing to adhere to Chanel’s costume theme (wives of fallen presidents) — Chanel insists that number five dress as the mentally unstable Mary Todd Lincoln — Chanel #5 turns her back on her clique.
Eager to further her plan to ascend to a position of power within Kappa House, Hester uses the rift between the two Chanels to further her own agenda. Hester and #5 approach candle vlogger Jennifer with a plan to overthrow Chanel by voting for Zayday. Hester’s convinced she will become Zayday’s second in command but, really, Hester plans to call the shots. She promises Jennifer some influence within the house, but Jennifer thinks Hester’s plan has a few holes. Like, why would Zayday make Hester her VP when Zayday’s closest friend is Grace?
Chanel #5 and Hester get Jennifer on board when they reveal that Chanel lights the most expensive candles that can be bought retail just once and then casts them aside. Jennifer salivates at the possibility of having access to all that leftover wax and is swayed to work with her two sisters.
Silence of the Kappas
Meanwhile, Zayday is being held Silence of the Lambs style in a well in the Red Devils’ lair. The show’s soundtrack choice is once again spot-on as Culture Club’s “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” plays when Zayday realizes that she’s the psycho killer(s)’ prisoner.
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Chanel Gets Pinched
The coup against Chanel takes an unexpected turn when the head of Kappa Kappa Tau is arrested in the middle of class for the murder of Ms. Bean. As Chanel is dragged off in handcuffs, she sees her minions, and Jennifer, watching the scene unfold.
With Chanel out of the picture, Grace and Pete plead with the remaining sisters to search for Zayday. Chanel #3, serving as de facto president, sums up her feeling on the subject as “indifferent.”
Hester points out that if Zayday really wants to be president, she should prove herself by showing herself capable of escaping from a psychopath. That may not be a fundamental requirement for being president at any other sorority, but at KKT, it is a powerful campaign platform, as Sam points out.
Chanel #3 refuses to draw attention to the sorority house by breaking curfew to search for Zayday and pronounces the matter settled, dismissing Pete and Grace.
The Pit and the Kappa
Grace and Pete decide to go to Weston for help and find him rounding third base with Gigi. There isn’t much time to process this revelation, since Grace’s first priority is finding Zayday. Weston and Gigi agree to help. They decide the best course of action is to go to the Dean.
Denise and Munsch are bonding over the Dean’s sexual exploits. She tells Denise about her disappointing sexual encounter with Chad, but Denise doesn’t judge. In fact, Denise admits she slept with Chad too. Only, her experience was far more satisfying than Munsch’s. Let’s just say there was some role playing involved.
Grace and company burst in, pleading with Munsch to help them locate Zayday. Munsch says she’s already contacted the police but that a person can’t be considered missing until they’ve been gone for 72 hours. Grace argues that Zayday could be dead by then, while Gigi points out that Zayday is probably dead already.
Denise chimes in that Zayday can’t be dead because she’s the killer. After all, “Bitch had a chainsaw in her room.”
Weston suggests involving the FBI or a private investigator, and Munsch informs him that she’s already hired an investigator, Denise. Denise vows to find Zayday and then throw her in the slammer for murder.
One Chanel Too Many
Chanel #3 gets her dad to bail out Chanel, and the sorority prez’s first order of business is to whoop some Chanel #5 ass. She finds her rival in her closet, the nerve center of this hive, dressed as Jackie Kennedy. This adds fuel to Chanel’s fire, since she designated that costume for herself.
A showdown ensues between the two Jackies as Chanel accuses #5 of ratting her out. Number Five denies the accusation, but Chanel says Hester and Jennifer told her everything. Cut to Hester and Jennifer whispering not-so-sweet nothings to Chanel about her disgruntled minion in her ear.
Chanel is determined to inflict a heinous punishment on #5, and while sticking a nail file in #5’s eye socket is Chanel’s first choice, she decides to send her sister to prepare the pumpkin patch instead. Number Five isn’t keen on wandering around alone on Halloween night with a murderer on the loose, but Chanel has some particularly twisted dirt on #5 that leaves the trembling girl no choice. Apparently, #5 likes to rub one out on a regular basis to the children’s cartoon Dora the Explorer. Yes, twisted even for Ryan Murphy. The implications of this are icky on so many levels.
If Chanel #5 doesn’t want this information to go public, she has to get the party venue prepped to Chanel’s exacting standards.
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The Shining Maze and the Kappa
Number Five calls on her boyfriends, twins Rodger and Dodger, to help her out. They assure her that they fought the Red Devil before, and only one member of their frat got his arms sawed off.
The boys wander off, and #5 find herself face to face with the Red Devil, or one of the Red Devils. Am I the only one who remembers there are two of these guys floating around?
He’s holding hedge clippers, which would be an extremely unpleasant way to go. Chanel #5 takes off into a replica of the maze from The Shining, where she meets up with the twins. The boys decide that now is the time to make Number Five choose. Their three-way made them fall in love with her, and they won’t budge until she picks. Number Five goes for Rodger, and they head in one direction, while Dodger goes in another.
Just like in The Shining, #5 gets the bright idea to backtrack through their own footprints to throw off the killer. However, unlike in the movie, Rodger yells their strategy to his brother, alerting the Red Devil to their plan.
Number Five and Rodger escape, but Dodger meets an untimely end.
Tasers and Killers and Kappas, Oh My!
Grace, Pete, Weston, Gigi and Denise are on the hunt for Zayday. Grace figures out that they can use the GPS on Zayday’s phone to reveal her location. They find themselves at an old woman’s house, who has been renting her cellar out. Denise hands out compasses, tasers and decoder rings, but she forgets the flashlights.
Like in every horror movie when everybody would be better served by sticking together, the group splits up. Weston, Pete and Grace go one way, while Denise and Gigi go another. It doesn’t take Grace long to find where Zayday was being held captive, but her friend is no longer there.
The lights go out, and the Red Devil has the advantage of night vision goggles, just like in Silence of the Lambs, but Jodie Foster’s Clarice Starling was much more on her game. When the Red Devil goes after Denise, she accidentally tazes Gigi in her boob. In spite of her injury, Gigi is able to taze the Red Devil.
With the Red Devil down, Denise runs to help out the others, but by the time they all reunite, the lights are on and the Red Devil is gone. According to Gigi, he clocked her in the head with a bat and took off. Denise takes off looking for him/her, but there’s no sign of the killer or Zayday. Coincidence? Denise thinks not.
Return of the Kappa
Back at Kappa House, Chanel has gathered together Hester, Jennifer, Sam, Chanel #3 and Chanel #5, still rattled from her brush with death, to vote for president. Zayday bursts in looking remarkably good for someone who spent a day in a pit.
Zayday tells the girls about her brush with the Red Devil, and it turns out she didn’t have it too rough. The killer sent treats down to her in a basket (not lotion). Eventually, a ladder came down, and when Zayday emerged from the pit, the Red Devil gave her a bouquet of roses and had prepared Zayday’s favorite meal, Oakland Nachos. It seems one of the killers is crushing hard on the Kappa pledge.
Zayday stabbed the killer in the hand with a fork and escaped. Chanel doesn’t buy the story, but Grace shows up and confirms she saw the lair for herself. Zayday appreciates Grace trying to rescue her but tells her friend she needn’t have bothered; Zayday is the “black Die Hard.”
The Conspiracy and the Kappa
Gigi finds herself alone on the dark campus. Could she have just survived a brush with the Red Devil only to get offed in the final minutes? No. Gigi is in on whatever the grand plan is for the Kappas, and she makes it clear that “he” has got to go. Is Grace about to become an orphan?
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9pm on FOX.
(Image courtesy of FOX)