In this episode of Scream Queens, “Mommie Dearest,” Grace and Pete learn the identity of “the hag from Shady Lane,” Chanel number three enlists Denise Hemphill’s help in finding the killer, and Grace is confronted with some disturbing news about her mother.
Grace is trying to hold Dean Munsch to her promise that if Grace sprung the dean from the asylum, Munsch would divulge what happened to the Kappa baby. But the dean isn’t holding up her end of the deal. She denies ever striking suck a bargain. The dean was doped up on loads of happy pills, so can she really be held accountable for what she may or may not have said?
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And Antonin Scalia Makes Three
Dean Munsch figures it’s a moot point anyway since Feather has been fingered as the killer, therefore the rash of murders can’t possibly have anything to do with that fateful night in 1995. Grace warns Munsch that she’s going to ignore what’s really going on at the university until it sneaks up behind her and stabs her in the heart.
It looks like Grace could be right because, minutes later, Munsch is in the shower and it looks like she might meet her maker, Psycho-style. But when the Red Devil pulls back the shower curtain, Munsch is nowhere to be found. She ambushes the Red Devil from behind, stating, “I’ve seen that movie 50 times.” Munsch knocks the killer out cold and places a call to 911 only to discover that the latest inept move on the part of the local police is that they’ve automated the emergency number.
Munsch does battle with the Red Devil, she with a fireplace poker and the killer with a knife. She knocks him out again, but as she tries to leave her apartment, she comes face to face with the second Red Devil, who happens to be holding an ax.
As if the odds weren’t already stacked against her, a third killer, disguised as Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, shows up. The dean isn’t about to go gently into that good night. In her youth, Munsch banged a man who was a champion in the illegal Hong Kong fighting pits. She proceeds to kick the crap out of her attackers. Munsch takes the most pleasure in pummeling the mystery figure in the Scalia mask. With each blow, she also verbally attacks the Justice’s views on the Voting Rights and Affordable Healthcare Acts.
The threesome slink off, realizing that if they are going to take out Munsch, it isn’t going to be via hand-to-hand combat.
The Kappa and the Security Guard
Chanel is still convinced that Grace and Zayday are the killers, and she’s trying to gather evidence against them. Chanel #6 has discovered that both girls are not only on birth control, but also that their cycles are in sync. This can only mean one thing: “Girls who pill together, kill together.” Chanel points out that that isn’t a thing.
Chanel announces that if you want something done right, you’ve got to pay someone else to do it and orders her minions to go out and crap in a bag in the street like the old, sad mares they are.
Chanel #3 has a different plan. Denise Hemphill has moved into the Kappa House as opposed to living in her car and washing off her lady parts with wet naps every day. Number three will pay Hemphill $3 million if she can prove that Zayday is the Red Devil.
The Kappa Who Gets a Clue
After being attacked, Munsch has a change of heart. She tells Grace, hypothetically, that if she hypothetically might have covered up the negligent homicide, hypothetically she would be an accessory after the fact. So when the murders began, Munsch couldn’t hypothetically offer up any information to the police because she risked hypothetically implicating herself. Munsch figured someone would shoot the Red Devil eventually. But now that she’s become a target, neither the university nor herself could handle losing, well, her.
Dean Munsch gives Grace the name of the girl who died in the tub. Grace wants more, but Munsch explains that cover-ups like this only work if everyone involved has tiny bits of info. It’s up to Grace to put on her Sherlock Holmes cap and figure it out.
The Kappa with All the Candles
Hemphill had a hard-on for Zayday before Chanel #3 gave her three million more reasons to suspect the Kappa co-president capable of murder. Hemphill immediately begins her investigation by questioning candle vlogger Jennifer. Jennifer recalls a story Zayday told her about how she was bullied by some girls in high school known as “The Peacocks.” They invited Zayday to sit with them at lunch one day and spent the entire time making fun of Zayday’s outfit. After that, Zayday swore she would get revenge on white girls everywhere.
Zayday interrupts Jennifer’s story. She overheard the whole thing from their adjoining bathroom. Zayday is tired of Hemphill’s antics and says she wishes she was the serial killer just so she could bump off the security officer’s “black ass” next. Zayday tells Hemphill to either march her ass down to the police station and get a warrant or stay the hell out of the way. Jennifer’s now on Zayday’s shit list too.
That night, as Jennifer is babbling online about candles to whatever few sad souls might be watching, the Red Devil enters her room and kills her.
The Chanels and Hemphill smell something burning and discover that Jennifer is posed, surrounded by candles with a pile of melted wax on top of her head.
The Kappa from Shady Lane
There’s no time to mourn, especially a subpar Kappa specimen like Jennifer, so the next day, Pete and Grace resume their investigation. The name Dean Munsch gave them hasn’t turned up anything, and Grace is convinced that all of this has something to do with her.
Pete suggests they try a different approach. Why not track down “the hag on Shady Lane”? Someone who hijacks milk trucks and dumpster dives would most likely end up in one place, the local loony bin.
When Grace and Pete visited Dean Munsch, they came across a woman who had been a resident forever. She remembers every face she’s seen come through the doors and paints them to boot.
Grace and Pete ask her if she remembers a woman being admitted 20 years ago, the hag. She would have wailed a lot, possible even had a baby with her. The woman shows them a picture of Gigi holding not one, but two infants, a boy and a girl.
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The Kappa Who Makes a Threat
Dean Munsch holds a press conference announcing that due to the continued killings, operations at the university will be suspended. There will also be a candlelight vigil held for Jennifer or, as she’s better known as, “that very unusual girl with the really odd candle fetish.”
In a fitting tribute, there are candles everywhere and “Eternal Flame” by the Bangles plays.
The news of Wallace University shutting down is unacceptable to Chanel. Better to throw parties where people die or almost die than languish in obscurity. She’s brought in some big guns, two detectives from Scotland Yard. Though they try to explain to Chanel that a) they have no jurisdiction in the United States, and b) they are only there because they received a tip regarding a death threat against the Duchess of Cambridge, Chanel explains that she’s American and therefore doesn’t have to understand anything.
Chanel breaks it down for the Brits. She’s sick rich, and if money isn’t enough incentive, if the detectives fail to dig up some dirt on Grace and Zayday, she will take out the Duchess herself.
The Kappa Who Lied
Grace confronts Gigi, who denies having any clue what Grace is talking about. Grace, realizing that the painting isn’t hard evidence, has done some digging. She got a hold of Gigi’s resume and application for the job of Kappa’s national president, and the documents contain more fabrications than an In Touch article.
Gigi was enrolled at Wallace University but dropped out her sophomore year, which happens to coincide with the Kappa baby incident. Gigi remains unflappable. She hardly thinks a picture that sort of looks like her and some embellishing of her resume adds up to her being a murderer. Maybe not, but Grace thinks it’s enough to keep Gigi away from Wes.
Gigi’s pretty confident she can spin things in her favor, and her fiance, Wes, will believe her side of the story. The engagement comes as news to Grace, who feebly warns Gigi to stay away from her dad. Gigi’s response? “What are you going to do, kill me?”
Grace arrives at Wes’ apartment. It turns out Wes didn’t ask Gigi to marry him. She offered to go out and buy some stuff for his bachelor pad and returned with an engagement ring and some very cool lamps. Wes didn’t want to rain on Gigi’s parade, so he went along with the engagement in the hope that it would lead to some mind-blowing sex, which it did.
Grace realizes that Gigi must have known her mom and, therefore, Wes had to have known Gigi. He doesn’t come right out and deny the accusation, but even if he did, Grace is dealing with some serious trust issues. She warns her dad to stay away from her and storms out. After she leaves, Wes looks into a mirror and adopts a very creepy guy face.
The Kappa Whose Mom was a Skank
Grace’s day continues to go downhill when she arrives at the Kappa House to find Chanel waiting for her. Those Scotland Yard dicks found some unsavory things about Grace’s mother. Grace’s mom, Bethany Stevens, was president of Kappa in 1995, and the night the Kappa baby was born, she hooked up with a grade-A douchebag named Wes. Nine months later, Grace came along.
Chanel knows that Grace is convinced she’s the bathtub baby, even though all the pieces of the puzzle don’t quite fit. The real truth is Bethany changed her name to Mary Mulligan to escape the transgressions of her youth. She was one of the girls who knew and participated in the cover-up of the Kappas’ dirty little secret.
After Grace’s birth, Mary went off the deep end. She was arrested for, among other things, drunk driving with a baby in her lap, drunk driving with a baby on top of the car and possession of drugs with the intent to distribute. Wes sued for custody and won, and Mary died in a car accident a year later.
Chanel accuses Grace of believing she was the bathtub baby and returning to Wallace University to seek vengeance against the Kappas. But since she was not the baby after all, Grace can stop bumping off her sisters.
The Kappa Who isn’t Really a Kappa
Denise Hemphill is drunk with power. She’s designated herself the new house mother and has raided Chanel #5’s closet. Denise pulls Chanel #1 aside and tells her she had better apologize to Grace for all the rotten things Chanel said about Grace’s mother. True or not, you don’t call another woman’s mama a ho. And if Chanel doesn’t straighten up, Denise is going to resume her sexual trysts with Chad.
The Kappa Who’s Coming Unraveled
Wes confirms Chanel’s story. And the part about their house burning down was technically true. He did it to prevent Grace from finding any evidence of her mother’s unsavory activities. Wes insists that everything he’s done has been to try and protect Grace. She points out how badly that has worked out; she is, after all, her mother’s daughter. Grace warns her dad that if he wants to protect himself, he should stay far away from her.
Boone is back and doing a surprisingly effective job at flying under the radar. He’s at a gym working out when he gets a phone call. He’s not thrilled to be spending all his time working out and killing people. He tells the person on the other end that it’s time for Gigi to go because she’s the weak link.
Scream Queens airs Tuesdays at 9pm on FOX.
(Image courtesy of FOX)