Maybe Keeping Up with the Kardashians is slowly brainwashing me, because this episode actually bordered on watchable. It’s hard to tell what I hate the most: Kourtney’s pregnant indecisiveness, Scott’s pettiness, Kris’ Kris-ness or myself liking this. Either way, the Kardashians go to the Dominican Republic and everything else goes to hell.
Acting Like an Adult About Adultery
Everything starts with Kris’ last-second decision not to meet with Todd, homewrecker of her previous marriage. She confesses that while she wanted to get closure from him after 25 years, the thought of Bruce kept her from doing so. God, Kris. That was incredibly selfish of you: don’t think of the marriage … think of your show and what ratings you’d get for meeting with him!
Humongous jerk Bruce takes Scott out racing. Before they even get in cars worth more than third-world countries, Bruce “Terrible Person” Jenner refers to Scott “Nice Guy, Cool Person” Disick as his “friend.” Rightfully angry, Scott leaves after such an insult without telling anyone.
Getting Down in the Dominican Republic
These things don’t put a damper on the family’s vacation. After settling on visiting the Dominican Republic, everyone’s brimming with excitement. Except for Kourtney, who doesn’t want to go because it’s, like, far away or something, okay? Oh, and something about her pregnancy or something. Her refusal to leave makes Kim miss her flight.
Meanwhile, everyone’s having a blast in their island paradise. Khloe, Kendall and Kylie paint themselves in war paint and have a blast basically reenacting Lord of the Flies. Clearly, they’ve never read any of Zizek’s writings on colonialism or they’d realize how insulting their actions are. Gosh. Kris hooks herself up to a white wine IV and stumbles around like a boozy fun-loving zombie.
Back to Normal: Everyone Hates Everyone Again
Then Kourtney and Scott arrive, making sure all this irresponsible enjoyment is finished. Scott and Bruce constantly stare each other down like dogs ready to fight, while Kourtney clearly wishes she was home all the time. Thing come to a head when she drops Kris’ recent near indiscretion with Todd at the dinner table. Slowly, everyone stands up and leaves Kris until she’s all alone, alienating her family. God, she’s just like Michael Corleone from The Godfather: Part II.
Things are heating up on the Kardashians. Will Bruce and Kris work things out? Is it even possible for Scott to act like a reasonable human being at this point? Comment and let us know!
(Image courtesy of E!)
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