Justin Bieber Dies!

  • Feb 18, 2011
  • Buddy TV

But not really.

The inexplicably ubiquitous tween star did, however, go down in a hail of bullets on last night’s CSI. Prepare yourself for much YouTube glee and viral forwarding.

Just a disclaimer for anyone expecting a detailed and sensitive synopsis of the CSI episode and Justin Bieber’s performance: I haven’t seen it. I didn’t see Bieber’s previous CSI episode either. All knowledge imparted below comes merely from (repeated) viewing of a video clip.

If you’re too lazy to go search for the Death of Bieber or don’t want to wait for your Bieber-hating friends to send the link to you, feel free to watch the bloody demise below:

In the clip, Bieber’s character, the evil delinquent Jason McCann, looks about ready to surrender when he pulls out a gun to shoot at a bunch of police types. The shots, alas, are as ineffectual as an attempt to quell Bieber Fever. Young Master McCann gets shot by the more numerous guns. Many times.

It seems, from a perusal of episode descriptions, that the character of Jason McCann was introduced on an earlier episode of CSI, in which he was under investigation for bombing and such. I’m going to guess, from the ending to the character, that he was guilty.

That said, I have no interest in finding out exactly what Justin Bieber did to get him to the point of excessive bloodshed. It’s much more entertaining to speculate on unlikely causes. Such as:

  • Bieber was taken down by over-enthusiastic patriots irritated by the young man’s stance on the American healthcare system.
  • The hail of bullets was merely retribution for inflicting “Baby” on us.
  • The shooters were parents forced to attend screenings of Never Say Never with their mesmerized daughters.
  • Hidden behind those cops’ sunglasses were the assembled forces of the Jonas Brothers and the cast of High School Musical.
  • The hair-challenged among us thought that death by firing squad would damage those perfect locks. (It didn’t.)
See also  The 'CSI' Franchise Case File: Couple vs Writer, or When Those Similarities Aren't Coincidential

Or maybe it was just his time. After all, as every New Kid on the Block and Backstreet Boy knows, the days of a tween idol must always and forever be numbered.

(Image and video courtesy of CBS)

When Love Goes Bad: TV's Most Epic Breakups

you might also like...

Everything You Need to Know About In the Land of Leadale
In the Land of Leadale

Everything You Need to Know About In the Land of Leadale

  • Jan 16, 2022
  • Buddy TV

One of the new and highly anticipated anime series coming out in 2022 is “In t...

Everything You Need to Know About Ao Ashi
Ao Ashi

Everything You Need to Know About Ao Ashi

  • Jan 15, 2022
  • Buddy TV

Much to the delight of seinen and sports manga fans, the Japanese manga series ...

Everything You Need to Know About Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie
Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie

Everything You Need to Know About Shikimori’s Not Just a Cutie

  • Jan 14, 2022
  • Buddy TV

The rom-com Japanese manga “可愛いだけじゃない式守さん,” also k...

Everything You Need to Know About Aharen-san wa Hakarenai
Aharen-san wa Hakarenai

Everything You Need to Know About Aharen-san wa Hakarenai

  • Jan 13, 2022
  • Buddy TV

“Aharen-san wa Hakarenai” (阿波連さんははかれない) is a manga abo...

Everything You Need to Know About World’s End Harem
World's End Harem

Everything You Need to Know About World’s End Harem

  • Jan 12, 2022
  • Buddy TV

“World’s End Harem” is a very popular harem manga series that was first pu...

our sponsors

Your ad could be here.


Advertise on BuddyTV

Newsletter

Subscribe for your weekly updates.