Previously on Grey’s Anatomy: Addison arrived and after Derek cured her brother, she started consulting on a case of a pregnant woman with brain problems. Derek made a small mistake and accidentally caused a bleed in her brain.

Tonight the epic Grey’s Anatomy/Private Practice crossover comes to a close. Your normal Grey’s recapper Debbie Chang is off at a fancy party with The Bachelor‘s Jason Mesnick, so look forward to some cool exclusive scoop on Jason in the next few days.

Now to Grey’s Anatomy, where Meredith tells us about how normal people look at doctors like gods. The big problem comes when the doctors start seeing themselves like that, as Derek (Patrick Dempsey) is undoubtedly doing.

The pregnant woman with the word salad needs emergency surgery, but her husband tells Derek and Addison that if they’re forced to choose, they should save his wife and let the baby die.

During the surgery, things go wrong for the mom, but Derek still feels guilty for his mistake so he does everything he can, including cutting out large chunks of her brain. Addison (Kate Walsh) thinks the woman is dead and wants to remove the baby, so she threatens to perform a C-section while Derek prepares to cut out the mom’s frontal lobe. It’s a Mexican stand-off with scalpels instead of guns.

The Chief arrives to settle it and he sides with Addison. She cuts out the premie while Derek looks on with the sudden realization that he’s not a god. When they tell the husband, Derek can’t bring himself to say anything other than “I’m sorry.” The husband gets furious and calls Derek a murderer. In his defense, he’s not totally wrong. If Derek spent more time looking at the brain and less time teasing Lexie about her Doomsday Sucker, he wouldn’t be in this mess.

A man who had his spleen removed at Seattle Grace has a huge infection because the surgery was old school and poorly done. Cristina whines that it’s because he was operated on by Dr. Campbell, a dinosaur who Cristina thinks should just retire already. Naturally, Campbell overhears this, and she’s played by Faye Dunaway.

My co-workers tell me Dunaway is a famous movie actress from movies like Bonnie and Clyde and Network. However, I prefer to remember her as Ian Somerhalder’s pill-popping mom in the wonderfully underrated The Rules of Attraction. It could be the best movie ever where James van der Beek pleasures himself while smelling love letters.

Campbell puts a mini smackdown on Yang and Owen Hunt sides with the dinosaur. The balance of power shifts once Cristina discovers a major surgical mistake during a CT. She runs to the Chief to blab, but Owen chickens out and doesn’t have her back.

At lunch, Yang reads more of Ellis’ diary and goes on a rant about how Campbell doesn’t know when to quit, but at least Meredith’s mom wasn’t performing surgeries while she was “all Alzheimer-y.”

The Chief explains the situation to the patient, but he still wants Campbell to perform his surgery. The Chief thinks that’s the end of that, but Cristina won’t let it go. In the surgery, Campbell is a total passive aggressive bitch to Cristina. After being lectured about needing to know how to do procedures without modern technology, Cristina loses it and says that modern techniques would have prevented the careless mistake Campbell made. The dinosaur blows up and tosses Cristina from her OR.

After the surgery, Owen tries to give Campbell a gentle nudge towards retiring because her time is up. Cristina returns to pseudo-apologize, and Campbell says she’s retiring because she used to be a surgery god, but now she isn’t.

In the clinic, Izzie is confronted by a patient who complains that Izzie told her she had cancer when she’s since learned that she has cancer, so Izzie must have switched the results. I guess Izzie doesn’t have anemia like she thought, it’s cancer! Finally, a diagnosis for her recent insanity.

The files were mislabeled by Sadie, who is now fired. Izzie complains about her incompetent interns to Bailey, but she doesn’t care. Izzie heads to the bathroom so she can touch herself all over. No, it’s not dirty, she’s checking for lumps to try and find the cancer. I’m guessing it’s in her brain, because that’s the only reason you wouldn’t seek out help as soon as you learn you might have cancer.

She eventually does, visiting the dermatologist for a mark she found on her back. Combined with her recent inability to see things and her hallucinations, the signs are all adding up against her. In the end, she tries to teach the interns by using herself as a case for them to properly diagnose.

Bailey is preoccupied with getting letters of recommendation from the Chief and George so she can finally start her new career as a pediatric surgeon. She’s less than pleased to see the Chief called her “fine.” I’m loving Bailey’s new teased, feathered hair. It’s good to see that annoying mushroom bowl is gone.

George’s letter is glowing, and Bailey confronts the Chief to wonder why his letter wasn’t as good. His rational response is that he has a neurosurgeon being accused of murder, an aging surgeon he needs to fire, and interns screwing up diagnoses and switching files. Also, he feels like Bailey is abandoning his dream of having her replace him some day.

In the world of lesbians, Callie asks Arizona on a date, but after learning Callie has only been with one other woman, Arizona loses all interest. But she’s super flattered – her words, not mine. I would totally watch an Arizona spin-off, with her skating around on roller shoes, performing surgery on kids and having sex with women.

At the bar that night, Callie confronts Arizona and says she’s very experienced in life, but after her big speech, Arizona introduces her date and Callie rushes away, embarrassed. Why does this show insist on making her the fool every week?

Lexie is tired of Mark Sloan hiding in the attic like Anne Frank, and she wants him to tell Derek about their relationship so she can feel free. I believe in that metaphor, Meredith and Derek are Nazis.

When he finally does tell Derek, he punches him. Then Derek punches him again. Then Sloan retaliates and it turns into a huge beatdown with punches and blood. Owen finally rushes in to stop this senseless nonsense. That night, the fighting men are nursed back to health by their respective Grey ladies.

-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)


John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.